Guestbook

Personal guestbook of Erin Solstice. Pisces, if you’re reading this, STOP!

 

Melsa Hvarei – Maybe it was a Tuesday?

Came in, ordered a bowl of acid flies, and ran away when she found out what it was. I feel bad, but she tried to pay me in cats anyways. Weird.”

Dario – Heavy rainfall on a Friday.

“I tried making french fries, and ended up setting fire to the kitchen.. He wasn’t too interested in potatoes a la flambé, but he did like the blue fruit juice! But he uh, paid with dollars. Now what am I supposed to do with those?”

Vincent Cheung – Giant fiery eye in the sky watching me.

“A very nice guy! Came in, ordered soup, and left WITHOUT trying to kill me with a knife. 10/10, would serve again.”

Geraint Williams – Sunny day, blue skies, dog poo on the ground.

“Flirting with the innkeeper does not mean I tip you. In fact, you should tip me more. Anyways, he had to go when the Goblins had a farting contest outside. Ugh.”

Joshua John Wallace – Midnight, overcast skies.

“A mysterious visitor came by wearing a fur coat, wearing dark boots and a pink scarf. He had two daggers in his boots, a sword at his side, and an axe buried in his back. I got it out for him.”

Trepe Hilkad – Knee deep in water on a Wednesday. Figures.

“He had bunny ears! He hopped in, pretended to be a rabbit, and then aimed a crossbow at me and stole all my money! Relc got him before he ran too far, though. Evil bunny guy.”

Diana Probst – Toad rain, dark skies.

“She did a watercolor of my face! It was nice! But um, she tried to draw Rags and ended up getting bitten. I feel bad, but there wasn’t too much blood.”

B. Gazzola – Too much sunlight! Monday.

“He was clearly insane, because despite being human he ordered a bowl full of acid flies and ate it. And then he drank some acid and left! Very nice person otherwise, though.”

Oliver Guillemente – Flying pancakes in the wind.

“He lost five games of chess to me before he pulled out the board of checkers. He won once; and then Rags beat him 16-2. I felt bad, but that’s what you get when you play checkers.”

Adam Rosen – An ominous feeling on the back of my neck on a Tuesday afternoon.

“Entered the inn and stepped on a nail. I was roofing. After I used the healing potion he had a plate of sausages and left. I uh, may have charged him for the healing potion too.”

Richard Cunningham – All the grass around the in got up and walked away.

“I just opened for the day when he ran by! He only stopped to pay for a mystery meat sandwich when he ran off. He was being chased…by DUCKS. Evil ones with no eyes.”

Nathan S. McCollum – The kind of day when it rains.

“I was having a bad day and he came by. Why? Some people just know when to share a smile. Come again on a rainy day whenever you like, friend.”

Carsten Bak Larsen – Forecast: blowing winds and flying Goblins.

“The Goblin slayer! With one hand he smacks Goblins for stealing his food, with the other he beats Rags in a game of chess! And then he nearly gets eaten when she unleashes the tribe on him! Rags is a bad sport.”

N.A. – I stepped in something on the streets in Liscor. Don’t want to know.

“I met…someone (or was it something?) in Liscor. It followed me back and sat at my table for an hour before I noticed it. It ate nothing, said nothing, and paid me in nothing. It might still be there. I keep checking over my shoulder in the middle of the night.”

Hey, I’m borrowing this to write down some of my deliveries.

–Ryoka.

Rikku Hime – Delivered a giant potato growing a bunch of leaves to a house out in the countryside.

“This job gave me a bad feeling from the start. The package was…moving when I got it, and I had the feeling it was alive somehow. I was tempted to bake the damn thing in a fire, but I got the job done. 21 silver coins, paid for at the Guild.”

Matias Andreasen – The job was to deliver a red letter, stamped with purple wax that had small silver shavings embedded into the seal.

“This seemed like some kind of important message. One gold coin for swift transport fifteen miles? I met a men sitting in a burnt-out wagon and delivered the letter. He was armed with a dagger his belt and a crossbow hidden behind him. Not sure if he survived to read the letter; several hooded figures approached as I left.”

Adrian™ – A potion of some kind. Blue, glowing. Nondescript. Could just be a normal mana/healing potion. Not sure.

“Fifteen coppers for a potion delivery? Seems normal, but why send it in bulk? I delivered this one separate from a shipment of mana potions and the [Alchemist] at the counter said she’d hold it for the client. In short, not too important but–why did it smell like strawberries?”

Tom Braider – A keyblade, I swear to god.

“I had to deliver a giant…key to some guy in a forest. It was heavy enough that I had to strap it to my back to run it there. Why the hell would anyone need a key that large? It was rusted and old, and I never saw the man behind the mask. The other two people with him looked like adventurers. Was this the beginning of some kind of dungeon dive?”

Chris Weekes II – A severed head.

“Well. I know what happened after the business with the red letter. I don’t think the guild was aware of what was in the box they sent me with. Must have been some magic on it too, because I didn’t smell the severed head until this guy opened the box. Bandit leader. I was lucky to escape with my life. Consider this guy blacklisted.”

Stop that!

–Erin

Flagellate –  Relc started a fight in the city today. Nearly hit me! I got so mad I threw a rock at him and nearly hit Krshia.

“Finally, some good business! I sold fifteen acid bottles to a guy who said he knew exactly how to use them! Hurrah! On an unrelated note, it sounds like there’s a serial killer who’s wandering around Liscor. Scary, huh?”

Postmodestie – Rainbows after a storm! It was so cool, and I saw a green guy running around with a pot over his head! (I made that last part up.)

“He wanted Toren soup. And by Toren soup, I mean that he wanted me to boil one of Toren’s bones and serve it to him. I was almost tempted, but fifteen gold pieces is too much for a skeleton, even a tiny bit of one. Right?”

Sheila Thoma – THE BEES! Actually, now that I think of it, they were probably wasps. EVIL WASPS!

“She asked me if I could make a meal of flowers for her. So I did. I gathered a bunch of flowers and made a salad out of them with some tossed grass and water for a drink! She said the arrangement looked terrible and left. How rude! The salad didn’t taste half bad!”

Andrew – Some kind of magical sword? It had glowing blue runes.

“Straightforward delivery, or it should have been. I was delivering a magical sword to an adventurer from a blacksmith, but Persua tried to mess with my delivery. We both nearly got eaten by the slime-spitting thing with four eyes that came out of the cave. The sword is magical, though. Too bad it doesn’t wash itself.”

Øyvind Birknes Langhelle – The eye of a tiger? Something around that size, anyways.

“Seems like a lot of [Alchemists] need ingredients. This guy was making some sort of potion. Not sure what it was; he never got through the brewing process. Fun fact: potions don’t always explode. Sometimes they emit a cloud of black smoke that freezes everything it touches. Note: don’t go to Remendia for a few days.”

Cameron McAvoy – The brightest Sunday I’ve ever seen. I may be blind.

“A rampaging cow (don’t ask) destroyed all my tables and chairs. But he came by and we sat and ate together on the grass. A picnic from home. It made me happy and miss home.”

Edward Lucas – One of the hottest days I’ve seen so far! It was so hot that all the Goblins just lay in the grass and refused to move!

“He came into my inn really thirsty. So he asked for a glass of water. I gave it to him on the house. So he asked for another. And another. And another. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD DIE FROM WATER POISONING! What am I supposed to do with the body!?”

Andrew WeissA dead body.

“I was delivering a dead body to someone who could dispose of it, but it turned out he wasn’t really dead. The guy I was delivering it to was really unhappy as well. He kept asking where he was supposed to get his teeth from now. I didn’t ask what he needed the teeth for.”

Aaron Martinez – Dancing day! Everyone dance and be happy! Except Ryoka, because she’s no fun.

“He can dance! We had a dance party outside the inn, all of us! Toren, the Goblins, and even Relc and Klbkch! The only person who didn’t dance was Ryoka, because she’s not cool. This guy was, though! He can also do the limbo really well!”

Caby – Snow falling from the sky! It’d be nice if it weren’t yellow snow. I’m staying inside.

“He was the first person to visit my newly build inn! Isn’t that great? Turns out the Workers did such a good job building the inn, the front door is now really thick. So thick…I didn’t hear him knocking until he nearly froze to death in the snow outside. Oops. But the first bowl of soup was on the house!”

J Rose – Snow, snow, and more snow. I couldn’t open the doors.

“She came in through the windows, just in time for a mug of hot…water. I want chocolate! But noooooo…apparently that’s expensive. But she had some jerky and we had that instead! She said she made it herself (after killing a fox), and I wasn’t sure if I should pay her afterwards.”

Kristoffer Wathne – A magic ring. Instructions were to keep well away from my person.

“I’m still being investigated by the local law enforcement in Celum about this one. The sender was unnamed, but when he put the ring on his finger, he disappeared and reappeared…five hundred feet up. Why? He was just an innocent [Butcher]. Someone’s using Runners to kill people, and I want to know who. They pay was good, though.”

Nsixtyfour – A chessboard and pieces. Made of some kind of stone–not granite, but what?

“I earned two silver pieces for this one. Just a city-to-city delivery that I did along with a few others. Heavy pack; I think Garia’s more suited to this kind of job. But the client wanted to level in [Tactician], so he paid for the set. Too bad one of the pawns was missing. Not my fault, but I got a delivery to send the package back and throw it in the manufacturer’s face. Sounds like fun.”

Richard B – A red letter day! In that I keep getting red letter sent to me. Why are they all empty?

“A great chess player! He almost won some of our games, but I beat him in the end! It was so much fun I didn’t change him anything for food or a room. I would have played him again, but he had to go. Apparently there’s a war he’s fighting in as a [Tactician] advising a [General]. Good luck!”

Aaron Van Dessel – Bird poo landed on my head! On my head!

“He’s an adventurer who stopped by for a quick drink! He wasn’t happy when I told him there was no alcohol, but he was nice enough to help me fight off a wolf when it  tried to bite me! He’s uses a big sword, and nearly sliced the wolf in two! Poor wolf. Cool sword!”

Ooh, this is handy! Hey Erin, I need to write down all these new adventurers that keep coming into town. I’m going to use this, okay?

–Selys.

FrostFox – Level 24 [Cryomancer], Level 5 [Thief]. Human.

“Obviously an alias, but she’s known for clearing dens solo. She sneaks into the lairs, and then blasts everything with freezing spells. Not very elegant despite her name, but it gets the job done. I’ll have to make sure she never goes up against a monster strong against ice-magic, though.”

Abdulla Al-Kuwari – Level 11 [Warrior], Level 16 [Scout]. Gnoll.

“He’s an adventurer from one of the Walled Cities. Vegetarian, I think, which is odd for a Gnoll. But he can disappear like no one else in the tall grass, which makes him perfect for scouting lairs. I’m sure he’ll get a lot of work, but for now we’re trying to educate him about the dangers of Shield Spider nests. Those things kill more new adventurers than anything else.”

Patrick Sylvester-Jose – Level 22 [Hammerer]. Human.

“Odd class, but apparently it’s a variation of [Warrior]. He’s got a hammer, though. A sledgehammer, I think. Now that I think of it, he might be perfect for a team hunting Shield Spiders if he can crack their exoskeletons. Might lower the resale value, but I’ll see if anyone’s interested. Still probably going to die if he fights a Rock Crab, though.”

Benjamin Johnson – Level 4 [Archer], Level 15 [Mechanic]. String Person

“Now here’s an interesting problem for me. This guy’s got low levels in [Archer], but he doesn’t use a bow. Rather, he’s got a crossbow with a crank that he says allows him to fire faster. And he’s…built it into his arm? Just too weird for me, but apparently he comes recommended, so I guess he’ll be useful.”

Marcus Seigman – Level 8 [Mage]. Drake.

“One of our regulars. He’s not a very accomplished adventurer, but he does know one spell; [Sleep]. In his team, the Scarlet Scales, he’s quite valuable since he can put a monster to sleep while everyone readies for a simultaneous attack. Note for individual monster bounties as possible candidate.”

Parker Groseclose – Level 2 [Paladin], Level 22 [Knight]. Human.

“How odd. I had to look this one up to make sure he wasn’t lying, but [Paladin] is a class that has to be earned by being some kind of noble and a [Knight]? Hard for me to understand, but he’s strong! Lots of teams want him already; looks like he’ll be busy soon enough.”

Angry Pandey – Level 25 [Barbarian]. Human.

“He just grunts at me! I keep asking him his name, and the rest of his team told me that’s what he answers to. And he has fleas. I think. Well, it’s not a problem for me, but I want him deloused before he comes back! He also uses a club and he must have [Thick Skin] or he’ll be dead when the arrows start to fly. Anyways. Stinky!

ZivlanirLevel 44 [Mage]. Drake. Level 14 [Scoundrel]!

“I thought he seemed suspicious, but he had the robes and he said he was a Named Adventurer, so everyone wanted to join up with him. Well, he got an adventuring team wiped out when they went into the High Passes and he’s missing with all their gear. An 80 Gold bounty is on his head!”

SELYS! Not you too!

–Erin

Sage Berthelsen – Five buckets of water poured on my head by stupid Goblins.

“He wasn’t a real sage, but he did have some sage on his belt! It was a joke, I think. He wasn’t a mage, but he showed me this really cool trick you can do with an egg and a small bottle! You can fit the egg in the bottle even though it won’t go through the opening at first and–it’s cooler when you see it, okay? I wonder what his job was?”

Paul Jackson – A black latter sealed with yellow wax. Smells of lavender.

“Another damn murder! This time the victim opened the letter and a poisonous cloud billowed out. I nearly inhaled it myself, but I jumped out a window just in time. Whoever’s doing this wants to kill all witnesses. But again, good pay. But why these people? This man was a baker. He gave loaves to hungry children.”

Joshua Willman – Fire raining from the skies! Black sludge underfoot! Oh wait, that was a dream.

“I really don’t know what to say. He knocked on my door around noon, ate a plate of spaghetti without meatballs, and left after paying. He was quiet, polite…and it turns out that he was a food critic! Hey! He wrote a piece on me in some fancy book and said my food was ‘standard’! That’s…true, but hey!”

Michael – Level 11 [Warrior]. Drake.

“A promising new Drake at our guild. He’s a bit too low-level for most requests, even the ones about killing rats, but a high-level team took him in. I think they want to train him up, or maybe they just need a shield? Either way, I hope he survives.”

Ricky Wu – Two frozen fish. They’re each nearly as long as I am.

“Had to ask Garia for help with this one. We were delivering a catch for this guy to his house. Apparently, he caught them in a pond and killed them. With a knife. Did I mention the dead fish have teeth that look like hooks? Nasty. I think fishing in this world is a lot more dangerous than in mine.”

Isaac Winter – Level 29 [Shieldwall]. Human.

“Odd type of fighter. There are variations on the name of the class he’s in, but he’s a purely-defensive fighter. He can hold off even a Rock Crab for nearly an hour, but he’s bad at attacking. I linked him up with a group of mages who could really use some defensive power.”

Simon – The smell of fried butter hangs in the air. Ugh. Some Gnolls were throwing up when I went into the city.

“Apparently, the fried butter spell was because of a battle between mages that took place fifty miles away. The smell is just drifting down here because of the wind. He says it smells worse where it took place, and he would know. He was the mage that won.”

Gunner R. – Level 22 [Marksman]. Human.

“Some people say archers aren’t too useful against armored enemies. Well, this adventurer uses enchanted arrows. They’re very expensive, but some burst into flames, and others melt even stone when the hit! Useful for any team, if they can stomach the cost. Might be an issue if he can’t find enough good bounties.”

Faded – Level 30 [Thief]. Drake.

“I didn’t even see him until he coughed! He’s got dark grey scales, and he’s a Gold-rank adventurer! He’s here to meet up with some friends, but if they’re anything like him, I’m not sure I’ll ever see him. He’s quiet and–hey! Where did my coin pouch go?”

Aki1red. – A flying tomato! I thought it was some kind of bird, but then it landed on the ground. Where did it come from?

“Weird name, huh? Almost reminds me…but this isn’t a username. It’s an designation used by a fighter group in one of the Drake armies down south. They go into hot spots and stealth their way behind the enemy and then stab them in the back with big knives. He told me all of this because I’d already be dead if I was an enemy so I’m no threat. Scary!”

Hey, is this a party or can anyone join? I’m writing down criminals here!

–Relc.

Nathan Body – Human. Blonde hair; always holding two daggers. Very dangerous.

“The Fiend of Reisville. If he gets near Liscor, the Captain’s going to lock down the gates. He can wipe out a village of people in an hour, and unless Klbkch or I fight him, more guardsmen are going to die. Need to spread word about him so he can be caught. But all humans look the same!

Fancylee – Drake with light yellow scales and two inches missing off of his tail.

“Not so fancy now, are you, punk? He’s a high-level [Pickpocket] – variation of [Thief] class – that I caught once. Well, nearly. I got part of his tail! Anyways, he’s fast enough to escape me in a crowd, but I’ll get him. Next time, punk. Next time.”

C Howard – A Drake with no tail. Very obvious. Approach with caution.

“He cut off his tail, because he thinks they make us weaker! He’s…insane, but he has a [Dancer] class and [Fighter] class, which makes up his [Sword Dancer] class–bastard must have picked it up in Chandrar. He cuts off the tails of any Drake he meets, and he’s far too dangerous for normal folk to fight. We’ve got to kill this guy fast.

Steven Meguie – Human with red hair and dots on his face. Freckles? Freckles.

“He’s a troublesome mage who casts [Stink] on anyone he doesn’t like. Entire cities have been emptied as people run for their lives! I need nose plugs. Or I could get Klb to arrest him. Can Ants smell? Either way, I don’t want to tangle with him.

Chris K – Gnoll with dark black fur and white tribal markings. Short?

“He’s some kind of outcast from his tribe. I think…it was a dispute over a lady? Either way, he killed his opponent which was bad, so he’s an outcast. Not dangerous to us, but Z. wants him under protection in case the rest of his tribe comes after him. What a pain.”

Coby Last – Human. Wears armor painted with blood or red paint.

“A deserter from one of the northern human armies. Scum. I’ll find him myself; anyone who abandons their fellow soldiers gets my spear in their gut! But it might be a problem, because he was part of their ambush squads. He can hide even in short grass, so I’ll have to wait until he shows his head.”

Zarquon – Scarred. Human. Missing two fingers on his left hand. Uses a sword-cane.

“Eh, he’s the ‘gentleman duelist’ or something. He robs travelers at sword-point and knocks them out if they fight back. Boring. I could take him in a fight! But he’s always evaded me whenever he’s in the area. And everyone else is too low-level to fight him. I’ll get him sooner or later, though!”

Nathan S. McCollum – Drake with no eyes.

“Another pain in my tail! He’s a master [Thief] who can steal the teeth right out of your face. Especially if he has a hammer. Somehow he can taste the air or something stupid like that, and it means he can sense where things are. And he knows when I’m coming, so I’ve never caught him. I need to get someone else to help me track him. Not Klbkch; the Antinium stink too much or something.”

Fabian – Human. Dressed horribly.

“Wanted for crime against fashion! Seriously. There’s a two hundred gold bounty on him for something he did involving a human female noble and clothing. Apparently she didn’t like it? Either way, he’s been dodging [Assassins] and [Bounty Hunters] for months. Not in my city, thanks. Also watch out; he apparently killed two people coming after him by strangling them with a scarf.”

William Tao – Gnoll. Tall, missing fur on left side of face and part of ear. Dark brown fur; almost black.

“He looks scary, but the worst he’s ever done is drink a barrel’s worth of ale and leave before paying his tab. That’s what he does. The innkeepers let him go because they don’t believe he can move, let alone run after that much. I’d warn Erin, but she doesn’t have anything good to drink so she’s fine.

THIS IS MY BOOK! STAY OUT!

–Erin.

Fortuno – A splinter in my TOE! IN MY TOE!

“I met a [Healer] today! Just in time too; I got a splinter stuck under my toenail! It hurt so much, but he got it out with these wooden tweezers and also managed to fix up that half-dead guy who came in with him. He had all sorts of potions and cool bottles of herbs and paste. Smelled bad, but it works!”

Dustin S. – The splinter in my toe really hurt, but I guess it was still a good day. Nice sun and all that.

“He wanted a drink, and when I said I didn’t have any alcohol he said he’d make it himself. He mixed something up and it fizzed…and nearly blew his face off. If it wasn’t for that [Healer], he probably would have died. Well, it caused a mess, but he gave me this cool potion of water that never stops burning! …I’m not sure if that was a good thing. How do I put it out!?”

Peter James Sand – A bottle of red sand. Flecks of…gold caught withing.

“I personally think it’s just some kind of stupid joke involving the client’s name. But I was paid a gold coin to deliver this bottle of sand. Actually, it turns out that’s not sand at all, but this world’s version of dynamite. The powder reacts to the air and sends the gold bits of sand flying. Damn it. Someone put a warning on these deliveries!”

Jeffery Chan – A spell book. Black bound cover; parchment gives me a horrible feeling when I touch it. Skin…?

“God. It was human skin. But this mage was an expert in dark magic, and he really wanted to learn the [Shadow Scythe] spell and other nasty tricks. I had to dodge three groups of adventurers trying to find the mage, but I got it to him in the end. He said this was a relic from long ago. I don’t want to even think about where the book came from, or how it was made. Some magics should stay buried.”

Mundane – Gnoll.

“He has no class! He’s just like Ryoka–he came to the guild to be an adventurer, but I’m not sure if I should let him. He can fight; he’s got a sword and he managed to beat a Bronze-rank adventurer when I tested him but…no classes or levels? He claims to have wiped out a bandit group by himself, and I can request confirmation, but…I just don’t know. Why?”

DasSchnitz – Some annoying Human! Wears a hood and dark clothing like an annoying [Assassin].

“Gaaah! This guy I’m going to catch! He’s so annoying! He doesn’t stab people or steal things, like a good criminal. Instead, he paints on the walls of buildings in cities, writing stuff like ‘resist the tyranny!’ and ‘fight the Man!’ or Drake. Or woman. He writes a lot of stuff, okay? And apparently he’s one of the ‘Resistance’. What resistance? Nobody told me about a resistance! What’s there to resist?”

Jason McPherson – Level 2 [Miner]. Human.

“Okay, what should I do with this one? He wants to be an adventurer, but…his level! All he has is a shovel and a pickaxe, but he says he can kill monsters. And he can. Sort of. He…dug a big hole and lured a Troll into it before covering the monster with dirt. That’s impressive, especially since he did it on his own but…really? I guess he can help clear the blocked tunnels in the sewers until he gets a higher level.”

Andrew Ng – Flaming oil explosion in the kitchen! Toren was cooking.

“I ran out of food when he arrived! And he was so hungry, too! But I had some sugar and a few blue fruits Toren found, so I made snow cones and served them to him until he got brain freeze. Um. It wasn’t my best moment, but at least he didn’t die. Yay?

David – Music from the rooftops! It sounds nicer than it was. Relc got an old trumpet and made terrible sounds until Klbkch got him to come down.

“He was from a marching band! He started yelling at Relc how much his music sucked until Relc got mad and jumped off the building. He’s fine, but he nearly broke his legs. Relc, I mean. I brought David back to my inn and fed him food, and he showed me how to march around the inn! Fun stuff! I wonder if I can teach the Goblins how to march?”

Carl – Up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane…it was a bird.

“It turns out some people have even worse luck than I do. One of those dino-birds dropped him out of the sky and onto my inn! I didn’t even think the birds got that big, but I’m just glad it didn’t stick around. He was okay, but he said that was the last time he tried to have scrambled eggs for breakfast. He’s a [Climber] and…yeah, I’m going to lay off eggs for a while.”

Silise – Purple hair; human. What more do you want from me?

“She’s wanted for being part of the Bloodfeast Raiders, a ruthless group that appears out of nowhere and destroys entire villages. A strong mage; apparently she doesn’t commit crimes until her gang assembles. And they’re all individuals who only meet up once a month. I’m going to find her, stab her, and get her to tell me where the others are!”

Lightning Breeze – Level 26 [Runner]. Level 11 [Fighter]. Drake.

“At last, here’s someone really promising! He’s a Runner who wanted to become an adventurer, and he has [Enhanced Movement] which is a great skill for all types of warriors–I know Runners often make the transition to adventuring successfully. I’ll give her a few easy assignments and hopefully he’ll make Silver-rank in a month or two!”

Tonberry – A human with flaxen (is that a color?) hair and a weird smile. Watch out for the knives.

“He’s not a bandit, or a murderer or a criminal who kills people…but he does sell kitchen knives. Yeah. Normally that’s not a problem, but they’re sharp, enchanted knives. One bandit group got a hold of a few and carved up a bunch of [Knights] in armor. We need to get this guy to stop selling the knives — or buy them all ourselves.

IceDemon – Level 16 [Warrior]. Human.

“Normally I wouldn’t look twice at a [Warrior] of this level; he’d be a fine Bronze-rank in any Guild, but this is a special case. He’s got an enchanted long sword that’s a heirloom of some kind; its blade is icy and it cuts with a really sharp edge! That alone makes me think of him as a Silver-rank adventurer, at least in offensive capability. I’ll try to toughen him up before I raise his ranking, though.”

Coyotte508 – Five bundles of steel arrows. Really frickin’ heavy.

“This one was another delivery I wish Garia would do. But the client lives too far from a city for her. He needs the arrows to shoot all the coyotes in the area. Ran into a pack of fifteen, and then a group nearing fifty as I got there. God. Some kind of spell’s gone wrong, and they’re wrecking the ecosystem. He’s killed over five hundred, hence the name, but there’s thousands out there…

Jacques Simpson – A roll of rich velvet.

“Aha! The strange murderer has been caught! The damn bastard tried to run, but the Adventurer’s Guilds in multiple cities send out Silver-rank teams and blasted him to bits. His last victim would have been this candlestick maker. Turns out that old nursery rhyme about the butcher, baker, and candlestick maker was a real story here; all three had parts of a key to some treasure. Looks like it’s safe, for now. Good pay, a bounty on the killer, and I also got a nice candelabra from him for free.”

Jordan – Some dude with a pickaxe. Not sure which race.

“All I’ve got for this one is that there’s some crazed killer who wanders the main roads, killing people with a giant pickaxe. No one’s lived long enough to get a good look at him, and he disappears before anyone can arrive in force. All we know is that he’s male because he likes to shout ‘yoho!’ right before he smashes someone’s head in. He’s sort of cool, don’t you think?”

Daryl Rogall – Fifteen bottles of Firebird Whiskey.

“Another heavy delivery, although in this case I can see why I was the chosen runner. I think the alcohol might have actually exploded if I kept jostling it around. It actually ignites when in contact with air, but this guy seemed to enjoy it. He says that if you don’t risk your life having fun, what’s the point? Gold coins for delivery; almost worth the singed eyebrows.

Stephan Rosseler – Level 12 [Tinkerer]. Gnoll.

“I’ve never met a Gnoll with this class, but he says he can help engineer better weapons for the adventurers. HE already built some kind of…battle…wagon. It has spikes, and he says you can push it straight into a group of enemies or down a hill. The Watch might be interested in it as well; I’ll mention him to Zevara.”

Berin Martini – Level 30 [Mason]. Drake.

“Um. He didn’t want to be an adventurer. I thought he did, but he was just here to fix the walls in the inn. Did a really good job too; he’s better than even the Antinium with his high level. He usually works on the walls, which is why I didn’t recognize him at first. So yeah. I guess if we ever need a castle built we can talk to him?”

Tavric – Fifteen bottles of beer on the wall! Krshia gave them to me as a present. Relc came by, and now there are six.

“Relc didn’t drink all the beers, mind you. This guy came over and decided to have a drinking contest with Relc! And they didn’t just drink beer; he had a keg of something really strong that made my head spin when I sniffed it! After that, he and Relc barely got down more than four beers each before they passed out. Do I charge him for the alcohol he brought into my inn?

Imbris – A dark night full of sighs and unexplained things.

“She came into my inn and paid for the night with songs and spoken words. The other guests laughed and clapped and listened to her sing. Day came too soon, and I sent her off with bread and cheese and meat, and a flask full of mead. I wish more people like her visited.

John-david – Level 28 [Halberdier], Drake.

“Another Gold-rank adventurer! He says he’s come to explore the ruins, but I don’t know if he’s looking for a party or if he wants to do this by himself. Those narrow corridors would be tough for anyone wielding a polearm, wouldn’t they? He must have some kind of unique skill–or he’s just insane. Maybe I can get him to partner with some of the Silver-rank adventurers? We’ll see.”

Taxman – A blustery day! Flying squirrels keep hitting my windows!

“He said he was an actual tax man, and I got scared! He ran off with half my gold until I realized what happened and sent Toren after him. I think he’s dead, because Toren just kept pointing towards a hole in the ground when I asked him what happened. I got my gold back, but he…um, flew. And then fell.

Ziranei – Pizza. Honest to god pizza. Sausage and cheese.

“Erin made some pizza, and served it to one of the guests at her inn. That’s the short side of the story, but then her guest was so in love with the food he asked for some at his home. And he was willing to pay a lot so Erin asked me and that’s how I became a damn pizza delivery girl. It paid a lot of money, though. Six silver coins for a rush job and just as much for Erin to make it? I guess this guy just really…likes…pizza.

Alex Nachlas – Really thin Human. Dark hair, dark skin…uh, really thin.

“This [Thief] is specialized in breaking into places by slipping through windows, and then hiding in impossible places like tiny cabinets until his pursuers have left. Seriously, I know it sounds weird but he can squeeze into almost any spot he wants. I’d say I could catch him, but last time he hid in a chimney…while it was smoking…for five hours! Gotta say, I sort of admire his determination.”

Jess Richards – All the lights in my inn went out and I couldn’t light them again!

“She arrived in darkness, and asked for something to eat. I didn’t have a fire, so I did what I could – sandwiches and milk. She said she was a hunter who lived in dark places. I asked what she was hunting, and she told me to bury it deep. When I looked outside I saw the giant…thing. She was gone when I went back into the inn. Toren had to bury it deep; only then did the lights come back on. AND SHE DIDN’T PAY THE BILL!”

Carter – A large rock. It was covered with moss one one side and fractured on the other.

“He wanted a rock. Seriously. A rock. Why the hell…? I earned one gold coin for the delivery, which makes me think something was inside of the rock. Or was it special…? I just don’t know.”

Stephany – Can’t stop to write. This is bat night.

“She came into my inn with a loaded crossbow. Oh, not to shoot me or anything; she helped clear out some of the stupid bats that were flying everywhere! They were big bats too; lots of fangs. Anyways, she asked if I could make something so I made bat soup and bat a la flambé. I burned the bats. But she was happy, and she paid well! Oh, by the way, she wasn’t a Gnoll or anything. I guess she just really liked the taste of bats…?

Xallion – Level 20 [Illusionist]. Human.

“He says he’d like to be part of any team that focuses on surprise attacks, and I can see why. He looked like a Gnoll when I met him. Note: illusions disappear on contact and he can’t do smells or sounds yet. Will be problematic with some monster extermination bounties.

Brandon PhuaAn orb made of clear glass. Spiders? What the FUCK?

“It was supposed to be an easy delivery, but those damn Goblins ambushed me. One hit me with a lucky shot and shattered the orb. And guess what came out? Spiders. Giant spiders that had been folded up inside. They swarmed all over me. I’m done. I need a shower, and then I’m going to burn all my clothes.”

Peter Wildani – A bright, clear blue sky and gusty winds. I saw Rags nearly get blown away.

“Do you believe a man can fly? That’s what he asked me. He says he wants to gain a class in flying, so he decided to jump off cliffs until he got the level. Um. I admire his courage? He says he gets a great deal on healing potions, so I guess there’s that.”

Michael Bojan – Some screaming Human guy. Look, he has a loud voice. It’ll be obvious.

“We’ve gotten reports of some Human who climbs onto rooftops and starts screaming at random. It’s loud, it usually happens at night, and it’s freaking people out. The Captain wants to find out what’s wrong with him or…what he’s trying to warn us about.”

Daryl Anderman – An…enchanted loaf? It keeps sparking and it weights a ton.

“This was a delivery from a baker, and I think it’s magical. Either that, or he spilled a ton of glitter dust on it. It keeps giving off different colored flashes of light, and when I look at it…anyways, I earned a few silver coins to deliver it to an adventurer. He claims it will sustain him for days in the dungeon by itself. Hm. Maybe I can buy one?”

Johan Nylund – THE BLACK MIST IS BELOW THE CLOUDS.

“I don’t remember! I DO NOT REMEMBER! I don’t remember writing that here, I don’t know why one of the walls is gone or why there’s black stuff all inside the inn but not outside! I just have five gold coins and a message that says ‘thanks for the advice’. It’s burned on the counter!

Michael Lavery – A key made in three parts. One side onyx, another steel, and a third made of lacquered wood.

“Odd, how past deliveries follow me around. After the death of the butcher and baker from the murders via Runners, the candlestick maker gave me the three parts of a key that the three men had found long ago while at sea. It went to this young man, and I was paid in gold for it’s delivery. He took it without a word, and set out. What treasure was it? Where will he go? Maybe one day I’ll find out.”

Richard Davis – Level 12 [Rider], Level 12 [Warrior]. Human.

“See, Drakes don’t ride horses as much as humans and they’re hard to care for. But he says that his horse can smell Shield Spider pit traps and he can charge right through most monsters when mounted. Could be useful, but I’m not sure how many adventurers would be able to keep up with him. Will ask around.

Cody Adam Carrol – Bug attack! BUG ATTACK!

“When a thousand cockroach…things with huge pincers come out of the ground and enter your inn, who ya gonna call? Seriously, who do I call!? I was lucky he was here; he’s a [Hydromancer] that specializes in poisons. He flooded the ground with some kind of deadly toxin and then washed the insects away. That’s great and all and I’m grateful, but…the bugs! Where did they come from!? Not sleeping tonight.”

Antonio Velasquez – Tall Human guy who uses a greatshield when fighting.

“Another Bloodfeast Raider! He’s new to their group, but he’s already killed more than a dozen adventurers and guards. They need to be stopped; they work together too well to be just a group of [Bandits]. His equipment seems to suggest they’re either adventurers or former soldiers; no one’s managed to get past his shield so far. Note to self: must break shield. I can totally do it.”

Sarah Willson – I think I saw a rabbit in the clouds today. Selys says it looked like a Delirat and uh…maybe?

“She came to my inn and asked for some food. And…she didn’t explode, she didn’t try to rob me or cast weird magic or ask for weird food. I kept waiting for something to happen, but she just asked me why I was staring. It was so nice! She’s a travelling [Merchant], and we had a great time chatting. Until the bounty hunters burst in through the windows. It’s always something, right?”

Tristan A – Five bags of gold dust.

“It’s a sign that I’m becoming more trusted in the Guild, because this was a dangerous delivery. Gold is heavy, and there were more than one group of bandits on the lookout from this shipment from the mines. But I got it to the client without more than an arrow in the knee, which healed up after I used a potion. As it turns out though, the gold dust wasn’t going to be processed. The client was a powerful mage that needed it for some kind of spell. I think it backfired, because the tower I delivered it to blew up when I was five miles away.

5 thoughts on “Guestbook

  1. If it’s not too clear, this is a list of people who have donated to me on Patreon! Thanks to everyone listed, and if you want me to change your name or find a description annoying, message me on Patreon and I’ll amend the list. Thanks so much for donating!

    PS: I could do Paypal, but that is a bit more private since that involves actual names and a banking site. Just know that I appreciate you too, but I don’t want to jeopardize anything confidential.

  2. Fun! Like eating a bag of M&M’s (only they’re, you know, stories!).

    A couple typos:

    ‘latter’ –> letter
    ‘butter spell’ –> butter smell

    Glad I have a horse. I wanna get a class that lets it use something like Double Step when I ride. I better get practicing.

    ~R

  3. Not that I’m complaining per se, but I seem to be on the list twice, once as Tonberry and once as Thomas Dixon (I did change my name on patreon so that’s probably got something to do with it)

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