Guestbook

Personal guestbook of Erin Solstice. Pisces, if you’re reading this, STOP!

 

Melsa Hvarei – Maybe it was a Tuesday?

Came in, ordered a bowl of acid flies, and ran away when she found out what it was. I feel bad, but she tried to pay me in cats anyways. Weird.”

Dario – Heavy rainfall on a Friday.

“I tried making french fries, and ended up setting fire to the kitchen.. He wasn’t too interested in potatoes a la flambé, but he did like the blue fruit juice! But he uh, paid with dollars. Now what am I supposed to do with those?”

Vincent Cheung – Giant fiery eye in the sky watching me.

“A very nice guy! Came in, ordered soup, and left WITHOUT trying to kill me with a knife. 10/10, would serve again.”

Geraint Williams – Sunny day, blue skies, dog poo on the ground.

“Flirting with the innkeeper does not mean I tip you. In fact, you should tip me more. Anyways, he had to go when the Goblins had a farting contest outside. Ugh.”

Joshua John Wallace – Midnight, overcast skies.

“A mysterious visitor came by wearing a fur coat, wearing dark boots and a pink scarf. He had two daggers in his boots, a sword at his side, and an axe buried in his back. I got it out for him.”

Trepe Hilkad – Knee deep in water on a Wednesday. Figures.

“He had bunny ears! He hopped in, pretended to be a rabbit, and then aimed a crossbow at me and stole all my money! Relc got him before he ran too far, though. Evil bunny guy.”

Diana Probst – Toad rain, dark skies.

“She did a watercolor of my face! It was nice! But um, she tried to draw Rags and ended up getting bitten. I feel bad, but there wasn’t too much blood.”

B. Gazzola – Too much sunlight! Monday.

“He was clearly insane, because despite being human he ordered a bowl full of acid flies and ate it. And then he drank some acid and left! Very nice person otherwise, though.”

Oliver Guillemente – Flying pancakes in the wind.

“He lost five games of chess to me before he pulled out the board of checkers. He won once; and then Rags beat him 16-2. I felt bad, but that’s what you get when you play checkers.”

Adam Rosen – An ominous feeling on the back of my neck on a Tuesday afternoon.

“Entered the inn and stepped on a nail. I was roofing. After I used the healing potion he had a plate of sausages and left. I uh, may have charged him for the healing potion too.”

Richard Cunningham – All the grass around the in got up and walked away.

“I just opened for the day when he ran by! He only stopped to pay for a mystery meat sandwich when he ran off. He was being chased…by DUCKS. Evil ones with no eyes.”

Nathan S. McCollum – The kind of day when it rains.

“I was having a bad day and he came by. Why? Some people just know when to share a smile. Come again on a rainy day whenever you like, friend.”

Carsten Bak Larsen – Forecast: blowing winds and flying Goblins.

“The Goblin slayer! With one hand he smacks Goblins for stealing his food, with the other he beats Rags in a game of chess! And then he nearly gets eaten when she unleashes the tribe on him! Rags is a bad sport.”

N.A. – I stepped in something on the streets in Liscor. Don’t want to know.

“I met…someone (or was it something?) in Liscor. It followed me back and sat at my table for an hour before I noticed it. It ate nothing, said nothing, and paid me in nothing. It might still be there. I keep checking over my shoulder in the middle of the night.”

 

Hey, I’m borrowing this to write down some of my deliveries.

–Ryoka.

 

Rikku Hime – Delivered a giant potato growing a bunch of leaves to a house out in the countryside.

“This job gave me a bad feeling from the start. The package was…moving when I got it, and I had the feeling it was alive somehow. I was tempted to bake the damn thing in a fire, but I got the job done. 21 silver coins, paid for at the Guild.”

Matias Andreasen – The job was to deliver a red letter, stamped with purple wax that had small silver shavings embedded into the seal.

“This seemed like some kind of important message. One gold coin for swift transport fifteen miles? I met a men sitting in a burnt-out wagon and delivered the letter. He was armed with a dagger his belt and a crossbow hidden behind him. Not sure if he survived to read the letter; several hooded figures approached as I left.”

Adrian™ – A potion of some kind. Blue, glowing. Nondescript. Could just be a normal mana/healing potion. Not sure.

“Fifteen coppers for a potion delivery? Seems normal, but why send it in bulk? I delivered this one separate from a shipment of mana potions and the [Alchemist] at the counter said she’d hold it for the client. In short, not too important but–why did it smell like strawberries?”

Tom Braider – A keyblade, I swear to god.

“I had to deliver a giant…key to some guy in a forest. It was heavy enough that I had to strap it to my back to run it there. Why the hell would anyone need a key that large? It was rusted and old, and I never saw the man behind the mask. The other two people with him looked like adventurers. Was this the beginning of some kind of dungeon dive?”

Chris Weekes II – A severed head.

“Well. I know what happened after the business with the red letter. I don’t think the guild was aware of what was in the box they sent me with. Must have been some magic on it too, because I didn’t smell the severed head until this guy opened the box. Bandit leader. I was lucky to escape with my life. Consider this guy blacklisted.”

 

Stop that!

–Erin

 

Flagellate –  Relc started a fight in the city today. Nearly hit me! I got so mad I threw a rock at him and nearly hit Krshia.

“Finally, some good business! I sold fifteen acid bottles to a guy who said he knew exactly how to use them! Hurrah! On an unrelated note, it sounds like there’s a serial killer who’s wandering around Liscor. Scary, huh?”

Postmodestie – Rainbows after a storm! It was so cool, and I saw a green guy running around with a pot over his head! (I made that last part up.)

“He wanted Toren soup. And by Toren soup, I mean that he wanted me to boil one of Toren’s bones and serve it to him. I was almost tempted, but fifteen gold pieces is too much for a skeleton, even a tiny bit of one. Right?”

Sheila Thoma – THE BEES! Actually, now that I think of it, they were probably wasps. EVIL WASPS!

“She asked me if I could make a meal of flowers for her. So I did. I gathered a bunch of flowers and made a salad out of them with some tossed grass and water for a drink! She said the arrangement looked terrible and left. How rude! The salad didn’t taste half bad!”

Andrew – Some kind of magical sword? It had glowing blue runes.

“Straightforward delivery, or it should have been. I was delivering a magical sword to an adventurer from a blacksmith, but Persua tried to mess with my delivery. We both nearly got eaten by the slime-spitting thing with four eyes that came out of the cave. The sword is magical, though. Too bad it doesn’t wash itself.”

Øyvind Birknes Langhelle – The eye of a tiger? Something around that size, anyways.

“Seems like a lot of [Alchemists] need ingredients. This guy was making some sort of potion. Not sure what it was; he never got through the brewing process. Fun fact: potions don’t always explode. Sometimes they emit a cloud of black smoke that freezes everything it touches. Note: don’t go to Remendia for a few days.”

Cameron McAvoy – The brightest Sunday I’ve ever seen. I may be blind.

“A rampaging cow (don’t ask) destroyed all my tables and chairs. But he came by and we sat and ate together on the grass. A picnic from home. It made me happy and miss home.”

Edward Lucas – One of the hottest days I’ve seen so far! It was so hot that all the Goblins just lay in the grass and refused to move!

“He came into my inn really thirsty. So he asked for a glass of water. I gave it to him on the house. So he asked for another. And another. And another. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD DIE FROM WATER POISONING! What am I supposed to do with the body!?”

Andrew WeissA dead body.

“I was delivering a dead body to someone who could dispose of it, but it turned out he wasn’t really dead. The guy I was delivering it to was really unhappy as well. He kept asking where he was supposed to get his teeth from now. I didn’t ask what he needed the teeth for.”

Aaron Martinez – Dancing day! Everyone dance and be happy! Except Ryoka, because she’s no fun.

“He can dance! We had a dance party outside the inn, all of us! Toren, the Goblins, and even Relc and Klbkch! The only person who didn’t dance was Ryoka, because she’s not cool. This guy was, though! He can also do the limbo really well!”

Caby – Snow falling from the sky! It’d be nice if it weren’t yellow snow. I’m staying inside.

“He was the first person to visit my newly build inn! Isn’t that great? Turns out the Workers did such a good job building the inn, the front door is now really thick. So thick…I didn’t hear him knocking until he nearly froze to death in the snow outside. Oops. But the first bowl of soup was on the house!”

J Rose – Snow, snow, and more snow. I couldn’t open the doors.

“She came in through the windows, just in time for a mug of hot…water. I want chocolate! But noooooo…apparently that’s expensive. But she had some jerky and we had that instead! She said she made it herself (after killing a fox), and I wasn’t sure if I should pay her afterwards.”

Kristoffer Wathne – A magic ring. Instructions were to keep well away from my person.

“I’m still being investigated by the local law enforcement in Celum about this one. The sender was unnamed, but when he put the ring on his finger, he disappeared and reappeared…five hundred feet up. Why? He was just an innocent [Butcher]. Someone’s using Runners to kill people, and I want to know who. They pay was good, though.”

Nsixtyfour – A chessboard and pieces. Made of some kind of stone–not granite, but what?

“I earned two silver pieces for this one. Just a city-to-city delivery that I did along with a few others. Heavy pack; I think Garia’s more suited to this kind of job. But the client wanted to level in [Tactician], so he paid for the set. Too bad one of the pawns was missing. Not my fault, but I got a delivery to send the package back and throw it in the manufacturer’s face. Sounds like fun.”

Richard B – A red letter day! In that I keep getting red letter sent to me. Why are they all empty?

“A great chess player! He almost won some of our games, but I beat him in the end! It was so much fun I didn’t change him anything for food or a room. I would have played him again, but he had to go. Apparently there’s a war he’s fighting in as a [Tactician] advising a [General]. Good luck!”

Aaron Van Dessel – Bird poo landed on my head! On my head!

“He’s an adventurer who stopped by for a quick drink! He wasn’t happy when I told him there was no alcohol, but he was nice enough to help me fight off a wolf when it  tried to bite me! He’s uses a big sword, and nearly sliced the wolf in two! Poor wolf. Cool sword!”

 

Ooh, this is handy! Hey Erin, I need to write down all these new adventurers that keep coming into town. I’m going to use this, okay?

–Selys.

 

FrostFox – Level 24 [Cryomancer], Level 5 [Thief]. Human.

“Obviously an alias, but she’s known for clearing dens solo. She sneaks into the lairs, and then blasts everything with freezing spells. Not very elegant despite her name, but it gets the job done. I’ll have to make sure she never goes up against a monster strong against ice-magic, though.”

Abdulla Al-Kuwari – Level 11 [Warrior], Level 16 [Scout]. Gnoll.

“He’s an adventurer from one of the Walled Cities. Vegetarian, I think, which is odd for a Gnoll. But he can disappear like no one else in the tall grass, which makes him perfect for scouting lairs. I’m sure he’ll get a lot of work, but for now we’re trying to educate him about the dangers of Shield Spider nests. Those things kill more new adventurers than anything else.”

Patrick Sylvester-Jose – Level 22 [Hammerer]. Human.

“Odd class, but apparently it’s a variation of [Warrior]. He’s got a hammer, though. A sledgehammer, I think. Now that I think of it, he might be perfect for a team hunting Shield Spiders if he can crack their exoskeletons. Might lower the resale value, but I’ll see if anyone’s interested. Still probably going to die if he fights a Rock Crab, though.”

Benjamin Johnson – Level 4 [Archer], Level 15 [Mechanic]. String Person

“Now here’s an interesting problem for me. This guy’s got low levels in [Archer], but he doesn’t use a bow. Rather, he’s got a crossbow with a crank that he says allows him to fire faster. And he’s…built it into his arm? Just too weird for me, but apparently he comes recommended, so I guess he’ll be useful.”

Marcus Seigman – Level 8 [Mage]. Drake.

“One of our regulars. He’s not a very accomplished adventurer, but he does know one spell; [Sleep]. In his team, the Scarlet Scales, he’s quite valuable since he can put a monster to sleep while everyone readies for a simultaneous attack. Note for individual monster bounties as possible candidate.”

Parker Groseclose – Level 2 [Paladin], Level 22 [Knight]. Human.

“How odd. I had to look this one up to make sure he wasn’t lying, but [Paladin] is a class that has to be earned by being some kind of noble and a [Knight]? Hard for me to understand, but he’s strong! Lots of teams want him already; looks like he’ll be busy soon enough.”

Angry Pandey – Level 25 [Barbarian]. Human.

“He just grunts at me! I keep asking him his name, and the rest of his team told me that’s what he answers to. And he has fleas. I think. Well, it’s not a problem for me, but I want him deloused before he comes back! He also uses a club and he must have [Thick Skin] or he’ll be dead when the arrows start to fly. Anyways. Stinky!

ZivlanirLevel 44 [Mage]. Drake. Level 14 [Scoundrel]!

“I thought he seemed suspicious, but he had the robes and he said he was a Named Adventurer, so everyone wanted to join up with him. Well, he got an adventuring team wiped out when they went into the High Passes and he’s missing with all their gear. An 80 Gold bounty is on his head!”

 

SELYS! Not you too!

–Erin

 

Sage Berthelsen – Five buckets of water poured on my head by stupid Goblins.

“He wasn’t a real sage, but he did have some sage on his belt! It was a joke, I think. He wasn’t a mage, but he showed me this really cool trick you can do with an egg and a small bottle! You can fit the egg in the bottle even though it won’t go through the opening at first and–it’s cooler when you see it, okay? I wonder what his job was?”

Paul Jackson – A black latter sealed with yellow wax. Smells of lavender.

“Another damn murder! This time the victim opened the letter and a poisonous cloud billowed out. I nearly inhaled it myself, but I jumped out a window just in time. Whoever’s doing this wants to kill all witnesses. But again, good pay. But why these people? This man was a baker. He gave loaves to hungry children.”

Joshua Willman – Fire raining from the skies! Black sludge underfoot! Oh wait, that was a dream.

“I really don’t know what to say. He knocked on my door around noon, ate a plate of spaghetti without meatballs, and left after paying. He was quiet, polite…and it turns out that he was a food critic! Hey! He wrote a piece on me in some fancy book and said my food was ‘standard’! That’s…true, but hey!”

Michael – Level 11 [Warrior]. Drake.

“A promising new Drake at our guild. He’s a bit too low-level for most requests, even the ones about killing rats, but a high-level team took him in. I think they want to train him up, or maybe they just need a shield? Either way, I hope he survives.”

Ricky Wu – Two frozen fish. They’re each nearly as long as I am.

“Had to ask Garia for help with this one. We were delivering a catch for this guy to his house. Apparently, he caught them in a pond and killed them. With a knife. Did I mention the dead fish have teeth that look like hooks? Nasty. I think fishing in this world is a lot more dangerous than in mine.”

Isaac Winter – Level 29 [Shieldwall]. Human.

“Odd type of fighter. There are variations on the name of the class he’s in, but he’s a purely-defensive fighter. He can hold off even a Rock Crab for nearly an hour, but he’s bad at attacking. I linked him up with a group of mages who could really use some defensive power.”

Simon – The smell of fried butter hangs in the air. Ugh. Some Gnolls were throwing up when I went into the city.

“Apparently, the fried butter spell was because of a battle between mages that took place fifty miles away. The smell is just drifting down here because of the wind. He says it smells worse where it took place, and he would know. He was the mage that won.”

Gunner R. – Level 22 [Marksman]. Human.

“Some people say archers aren’t too useful against armored enemies. Well, this adventurer uses enchanted arrows. They’re very expensive, but some burst into flames, and others melt even stone when the hit! Useful for any team, if they can stomach the cost. Might be an issue if he can’t find enough good bounties.”

Faded – Level 30 [Thief]. Drake.

“I didn’t even see him until he coughed! He’s got dark grey scales, and he’s a Gold-rank adventurer! He’s here to meet up with some friends, but if they’re anything like him, I’m not sure I’ll ever see him. He’s quiet and–hey! Where did my coin pouch go?”

Aki1red. – A flying tomato! I thought it was some kind of bird, but then it landed on the ground. Where did it come from?

“Weird name, huh? Almost reminds me…but this isn’t a username. It’s an designation used by a fighter group in one of the Drake armies down south. They go into hot spots and stealth their way behind the enemy and then stab them in the back with big knives. He told me all of this because I’d already be dead if I was an enemy so I’m no threat. Scary!”

 

Hey, is this a party or can anyone join? I’m writing down criminals here!

–Relc.

 

Nathan Body – Human. Blonde hair; always holding two daggers. Very dangerous.

“The Fiend of Reisville. If he gets near Liscor, the Captain’s going to lock down the gates. He can wipe out a village of people in an hour, and unless Klbkch or I fight him, more guardsmen are going to die. Need to spread word about him so he can be caught. But all humans look the same!

Fancylee – Drake with light yellow scales and two inches missing off of his tail.

“Not so fancy now, are you, punk? He’s a high-level [Pickpocket] – variation of [Thief] class – that I caught once. Well, nearly. I got part of his tail! Anyways, he’s fast enough to escape me in a crowd, but I’ll get him. Next time, punk. Next time.”

C Howard – A Drake with no tail. Very obvious. Approach with caution.

“He cut off his tail, because he thinks they make us weaker! He’s…insane, but he has a [Dancer] class and [Fighter] class, which makes up his [Sword Dancer] class–bastard must have picked it up in Chandrar. He cuts off the tails of any Drake he meets, and he’s far too dangerous for normal folk to fight. We’ve got to kill this guy fast.

Steven Meguie – Human with red hair and dots on his face. Freckles? Freckles.

“He’s a troublesome mage who casts [Stink] on anyone he doesn’t like. Entire cities have been emptied as people run for their lives! I need nose plugs. Or I could get Klb to arrest him. Can Ants smell? Either way, I don’t want to tangle with him.

Chris K – Gnoll with dark black fur and white tribal markings. Short?

“He’s some kind of outcast from his tribe. I think…it was a dispute over a lady? Either way, he killed his opponent which was bad, so he’s an outcast. Not dangerous to us, but Z. wants him under protection in case the rest of his tribe comes after him. What a pain.”

Coby Last – Human. Wears armor painted with blood or red paint.

“A deserter from one of the northern human armies. Scum. I’ll find him myself; anyone who abandons their fellow soldiers gets my spear in their gut! But it might be a problem, because he was part of their ambush squads. He can hide even in short grass, so I’ll have to wait until he shows his head.”

Zarquon – Scarred. Human. Missing two fingers on his left hand. Uses a sword-cane.

“Eh, he’s the ‘gentleman duelist’ or something. He robs travelers at sword-point and knocks them out if they fight back. Boring. I could take him in a fight! But he’s always evaded me whenever he’s in the area. And everyone else is too low-level to fight him. I’ll get him sooner or later, though!”

Nathan S. McCollum – Drake with no eyes.

“Another pain in my tail! He’s a master [Thief] who can steal the teeth right out of your face. Especially if he has a hammer. Somehow he can taste the air or something stupid like that, and it means he can sense where things are. And he knows when I’m coming, so I’ve never caught him. I need to get someone else to help me track him. Not Klbkch; the Antinium stink too much or something.”

Fabian – Human. Dressed horribly.

“Wanted for crime against fashion! Seriously. There’s a two hundred gold bounty on him for something he did involving a human female noble and clothing. Apparently she didn’t like it? Either way, he’s been dodging [Assassins] and [Bounty Hunters] for months. Not in my city, thanks. Also watch out; he apparently killed two people coming after him by strangling them with a scarf.”

William Tao – Gnoll. Tall, missing fur on left side of face and part of ear. Dark brown fur; almost black.

“He looks scary, but the worst he’s ever done is drink a barrel’s worth of ale and leave before paying his tab. That’s what he does. The innkeepers let him go because they don’t believe he can move, let alone run after that much. I’d warn Erin, but she doesn’t have anything good to drink so she’s fine.

 

THIS IS MY BOOK! STAY OUT!

–Erin.

 

Fortuno – A splinter in my TOE! IN MY TOE!

“I met a [Healer] today! Just in time too; I got a splinter stuck under my toenail! It hurt so much, but he got it out with these wooden tweezers and also managed to fix up that half-dead guy who came in with him. He had all sorts of potions and cool bottles of herbs and paste. Smelled bad, but it works!”

Dustin S. – The splinter in my toe really hurt, but I guess it was still a good day. Nice sun and all that.

“He wanted a drink, and when I said I didn’t have any alcohol he said he’d make it himself. He mixed something up and it fizzed…and nearly blew his face off. If it wasn’t for that [Healer], he probably would have died. Well, it caused a mess, but he gave me this cool potion of water that never stops burning! …I’m not sure if that was a good thing. How do I put it out!?”

Peter James Sand – A bottle of red sand. Flecks of…gold caught withing.

“I personally think it’s just some kind of stupid joke involving the client’s name. But I was paid a gold coin to deliver this bottle of sand. Actually, it turns out that’s not sand at all, but this world’s version of dynamite. The powder reacts to the air and sends the gold bits of sand flying. Damn it. Someone put a warning on these deliveries!”

Jeffery Chan – A spell book. Black bound cover; parchment gives me a horrible feeling when I touch it. Skin…?

“God. It was human skin. But this mage was an expert in dark magic, and he really wanted to learn the [Shadow Scythe] spell and other nasty tricks. I had to dodge three groups of adventurers trying to find the mage, but I got it to him in the end. He said this was a relic from long ago. I don’t want to even think about where the book came from, or how it was made. Some magics should stay buried.”

Mundane – Gnoll.

“He has no class! He’s just like Ryoka–he came to the guild to be an adventurer, but I’m not sure if I should let him. He can fight; he’s got a sword and he managed to beat a Bronze-rank adventurer when I tested him but…no classes or levels? He claims to have wiped out a bandit group by himself, and I can request confirmation, but…I just don’t know. Why?”

DasSchnitz – Some annoying Human! Wears a hood and dark clothing like an annoying [Assassin].

“Gaaah! This guy I’m going to catch! He’s so annoying! He doesn’t stab people or steal things, like a good criminal. Instead, he paints on the walls of buildings in cities, writing stuff like ‘resist the tyranny!’ and ‘fight the Man!’ or Drake. Or woman. He writes a lot of stuff, okay? And apparently he’s one of the ‘Resistance’. What resistance? Nobody told me about a resistance! What’s there to resist?”

Jason McPherson – Level 2 [Miner]. Human.

“Okay, what should I do with this one? He wants to be an adventurer, but…his level! All he has is a shovel and a pickaxe, but he says he can kill monsters. And he can. Sort of. He…dug a big hole and lured a Troll into it before covering the monster with dirt. That’s impressive, especially since he did it on his own but…really? I guess he can help clear the blocked tunnels in the sewers until he gets a higher level.”

Andrew Ng – Flaming oil explosion in the kitchen! Toren was cooking.

“I ran out of food when he arrived! And he was so hungry, too! But I had some sugar and a few blue fruits Toren found, so I made snow cones and served them to him until he got brain freeze. Um. It wasn’t my best moment, but at least he didn’t die. Yay?

David – Music from the rooftops! It sounds nicer than it was. Relc got an old trumpet and made terrible sounds until Klbkch got him to come down.

“He was from a marching band! He started yelling at Relc how much his music sucked until Relc got mad and jumped off the building. He’s fine, but he nearly broke his legs. Relc, I mean. I brought David back to my inn and fed him food, and he showed me how to march around the inn! Fun stuff! I wonder if I can teach the Goblins how to march?”

Carl – Up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane…it was a bird.

“It turns out some people have even worse luck than I do. One of those dino-birds dropped him out of the sky and onto my inn! I didn’t even think the birds got that big, but I’m just glad it didn’t stick around. He was okay, but he said that was the last time he tried to have scrambled eggs for breakfast. He’s a [Climber] and…yeah, I’m going to lay off eggs for a while.”

Silise – Purple hair; human. What more do you want from me?

“She’s wanted for being part of the Bloodfeast Raiders, a ruthless group that appears out of nowhere and destroys entire villages. A strong mage; apparently she doesn’t commit crimes until her gang assembles. And they’re all individuals who only meet up once a month. I’m going to find her, stab her, and get her to tell me where the others are!”

Lightning Breeze – Level 26 [Runner]. Level 11 [Fighter]. Drake.

“At last, here’s someone really promising! He’s a Runner who wanted to become an adventurer, and he has [Enhanced Movement] which is a great skill for all types of warriors–I know Runners often make the transition to adventuring successfully. I’ll give her a few easy assignments and hopefully he’ll make Silver-rank in a month or two!”

Tonberry – A human with flaxen (is that a color?) hair and a weird smile. Watch out for the knives.

“He’s not a bandit, or a murderer or a criminal who kills people…but he does sell kitchen knives. Yeah. Normally that’s not a problem, but they’re sharp, enchanted knives. One bandit group got a hold of a few and carved up a bunch of [Knights] in armor. We need to get this guy to stop selling the knives — or buy them all ourselves.

IceDemon – Level 16 [Warrior]. Human.

“Normally I wouldn’t look twice at a [Warrior] of this level; he’d be a fine Bronze-rank in any Guild, but this is a special case. He’s got an enchanted long sword that’s a heirloom of some kind; its blade is icy and it cuts with a really sharp edge! That alone makes me think of him as a Silver-rank adventurer, at least in offensive capability. I’ll try to toughen him up before I raise his ranking, though.”

Coyotte508 – Five bundles of steel arrows. Really frickin’ heavy.

“This one was another delivery I wish Garia would do. But the client lives too far from a city for her. He needs the arrows to shoot all the coyotes in the area. Ran into a pack of fifteen, and then a group nearing fifty as I got there. God. Some kind of spell’s gone wrong, and they’re wrecking the ecosystem. He’s killed over five hundred, hence the name, but there’s thousands out there…

Jacques Simpson – A roll of rich velvet.

“Aha! The strange murderer has been caught! The damn bastard tried to run, but the Adventurer’s Guilds in multiple cities send out Silver-rank teams and blasted him to bits. His last victim would have been this candlestick maker. Turns out that old nursery rhyme about the butcher, baker, and candlestick maker was a real story here; all three had parts of a key to some treasure. Looks like it’s safe, for now. Good pay, a bounty on the killer, and I also got a nice candelabra from him for free.”

Jordan – Some dude with a pickaxe. Not sure which race.

“All I’ve got for this one is that there’s some crazed killer who wanders the main roads, killing people with a giant pickaxe. No one’s lived long enough to get a good look at him, and he disappears before anyone can arrive in force. All we know is that he’s male because he likes to shout ‘yoho!’ right before he smashes someone’s head in. He’s sort of cool, don’t you think?”

Daryl Rogall – Fifteen bottles of Firebird Whiskey.

“Another heavy delivery, although in this case I can see why I was the chosen runner. I think the alcohol might have actually exploded if I kept jostling it around. It actually ignites when in contact with air, but this guy seemed to enjoy it. He says that if you don’t risk your life having fun, what’s the point? Gold coins for delivery; almost worth the singed eyebrows.

Stephan Rosseler – Level 12 [Tinkerer]. Gnoll.

“I’ve never met a Gnoll with this class, but he says he can help engineer better weapons for the adventurers. HE already built some kind of…battle…wagon. It has spikes, and he says you can push it straight into a group of enemies or down a hill. The Watch might be interested in it as well; I’ll mention him to Zevara.”

Berin Martini – Level 30 [Mason]. Drake.

“Um. He didn’t want to be an adventurer. I thought he did, but he was just here to fix the walls in the inn. Did a really good job too; he’s better than even the Antinium with his high level. He usually works on the walls, which is why I didn’t recognize him at first. So yeah. I guess if we ever need a castle built we can talk to him?”

Tavric – Fifteen bottles of beer on the wall! Krshia gave them to me as a present. Relc came by, and now there are six.

“Relc didn’t drink all the beers, mind you. This guy came over and decided to have a drinking contest with Relc! And they didn’t just drink beer; he had a keg of something really strong that made my head spin when I sniffed it! After that, he and Relc barely got down more than four beers each before they passed out. Do I charge him for the alcohol he brought into my inn?

Imbris – A dark night full of sighs and unexplained things.

“She came into my inn and paid for the night with songs and spoken words. The other guests laughed and clapped and listened to her sing. Day came too soon, and I sent her off with bread and cheese and meat, and a flask full of mead. I wish more people like her visited.

John-david – Level 28 [Halberdier], Drake.

“Another Gold-rank adventurer! He says he’s come to explore the ruins, but I don’t know if he’s looking for a party or if he wants to do this by himself. Those narrow corridors would be tough for anyone wielding a polearm, wouldn’t they? He must have some kind of unique skill–or he’s just insane. Maybe I can get him to partner with some of the Silver-rank adventurers? We’ll see.”

Taxman – A blustery day! Flying squirrels keep hitting my windows!

“He said he was an actual tax man, and I got scared! He ran off with half my gold until I realized what happened and sent Toren after him. I think he’s dead, because Toren just kept pointing towards a hole in the ground when I asked him what happened. I got my gold back, but he…um, flew. And then fell.

Ziranei – Pizza. Honest to god pizza. Sausage and cheese.

“Erin made some pizza, and served it to one of the guests at her inn. That’s the short side of the story, but then her guest was so in love with the food he asked for some at his home. And he was willing to pay a lot so Erin asked me and that’s how I became a damn pizza delivery girl. It paid a lot of money, though. Six silver coins for a rush job and just as much for Erin to make it? I guess this guy just really…likes…pizza.

Alex Nachlas – Really thin Human. Dark hair, dark skin…uh, really thin.

“This [Thief] is specialized in breaking into places by slipping through windows, and then hiding in impossible places like tiny cabinets until his pursuers have left. Seriously, I know it sounds weird but he can squeeze into almost any spot he wants. I’d say I could catch him, but last time he hid in a chimney…while it was smoking…for five hours! Gotta say, I sort of admire his determination.”

Jess Richards – All the lights in my inn went out and I couldn’t light them again!

“She arrived in darkness, and asked for something to eat. I didn’t have a fire, so I did what I could – sandwiches and milk. She said she was a hunter who lived in dark places. I asked what she was hunting, and she told me to bury it deep. When I looked outside I saw the giant…thing. She was gone when I went back into the inn. Toren had to bury it deep; only then did the lights come back on. AND SHE DIDN’T PAY THE BILL!”

Carter – A large rock. It was covered with moss one one side and fractured on the other.

“He wanted a rock. Seriously. A rock. Why the hell…? I earned one gold coin for the delivery, which makes me think something was inside of the rock. Or was it special…? I just don’t know.”

Stephany – Can’t stop to write. This is bat night.

“She came into my inn with a loaded crossbow. Oh, not to shoot me or anything; she helped clear out some of the stupid bats that were flying everywhere! They were big bats too; lots of fangs. Anyways, she asked if I could make something so I made bat soup and bat a la flambé. I burned the bats. But she was happy, and she paid well! Oh, by the way, she wasn’t a Gnoll or anything. I guess she just really liked the taste of bats…?

Xallion – Level 20 [Illusionist]. Human.

“He says he’d like to be part of any team that focuses on surprise attacks, and I can see why. He looked like a Gnoll when I met him. Note: illusions disappear on contact and he can’t do smells or sounds yet. Will be problematic with some monster extermination bounties.

Brandon PhuaAn orb made of clear glass. Spiders? What the FUCK?

“It was supposed to be an easy delivery, but those damn Goblins ambushed me. One hit me with a lucky shot and shattered the orb. And guess what came out? Spiders. Giant spiders that had been folded up inside. They swarmed all over me. I’m done. I need a shower, and then I’m going to burn all my clothes.”

Peter Wildani – A bright, clear blue sky and gusty winds. I saw Rags nearly get blown away.

“Do you believe a man can fly? That’s what he asked me. He says he wants to gain a class in flying, so he decided to jump off cliffs until he got the level. Um. I admire his courage? He says he gets a great deal on healing potions, so I guess there’s that.”

Michael Bojan – Some screaming Human guy. Look, he has a loud voice. It’ll be obvious.

“We’ve gotten reports of some Human who climbs onto rooftops and starts screaming at random. It’s loud, it usually happens at night, and it’s freaking people out. The Captain wants to find out what’s wrong with him or…what he’s trying to warn us about.”

Daryl Anderman – An…enchanted loaf? It keeps sparking and it weights a ton.

“This was a delivery from a baker, and I think it’s magical. Either that, or he spilled a ton of glitter dust on it. It keeps giving off different colored flashes of light, and when I look at it…anyways, I earned a few silver coins to deliver it to an adventurer. He claims it will sustain him for days in the dungeon by itself. Hm. Maybe I can buy one?”

Johan Nylund – THE BLACK MIST IS BELOW THE CLOUDS.

“I don’t remember! I DO NOT REMEMBER! I don’t remember writing that here, I don’t know why one of the walls is gone or why there’s black stuff all inside the inn but not outside! I just have five gold coins and a message that says ‘thanks for the advice’. It’s burned on the counter!

Michael Lavery – A key made in three parts. One side onyx, another steel, and a third made of lacquered wood.

“Odd, how past deliveries follow me around. After the death of the butcher and baker from the murders via Runners, the candlestick maker gave me the three parts of a key that the three men had found long ago while at sea. It went to this young man, and I was paid in gold for it’s delivery. He took it without a word, and set out. What treasure was it? Where will he go? Maybe one day I’ll find out.”

Richard Davis – Level 12 [Rider], Level 12 [Warrior]. Human.

“See, Drakes don’t ride horses as much as humans and they’re hard to care for. But he says that his horse can smell Shield Spider pit traps and he can charge right through most monsters when mounted. Could be useful, but I’m not sure how many adventurers would be able to keep up with him. Will ask around.

Cody Adam Carrol – Bug attack! BUG ATTACK!

“When a thousand cockroach…things with huge pincers come out of the ground and enter your inn, who ya gonna call? Seriously, who do I call!? I was lucky he was here; he’s a [Hydromancer] that specializes in poisons. He flooded the ground with some kind of deadly toxin and then washed the insects away. That’s great and all and I’m grateful, but…the bugs! Where did they come from!? Not sleeping tonight.”

Antonio Velasquez – Tall Human guy who uses a greatshield when fighting.

“Another Bloodfeast Raider! He’s new to their group, but he’s already killed more than a dozen adventurers and guards. They need to be stopped; they work together too well to be just a group of [Bandits]. His equipment seems to suggest they’re either adventurers or former soldiers; no one’s managed to get past his shield so far. Note to self: must break shield. I can totally do it.”

Sarah Willson – I think I saw a rabbit in the clouds today. Selys says it looked like a Delirat and uh…maybe?

“She came to my inn and asked for some food. And…she didn’t explode, she didn’t try to rob me or cast weird magic or ask for weird food. I kept waiting for something to happen, but she just asked me why I was staring. It was so nice! She’s a travelling [Merchant], and we had a great time chatting. Until the bounty hunters burst in through the windows. It’s always something, right?”

Tristan A – Five bags of gold dust.

“It’s a sign that I’m becoming more trusted in the Guild, because this was a dangerous delivery. Gold is heavy, and there were more than one group of bandits on the lookout from this shipment from the mines. But I got it to the client without more than an arrow in the knee, which healed up after I used a potion. As it turns out though, the gold dust wasn’t going to be processed. The client was a powerful mage that needed it for some kind of spell. I think it backfired, because the tower I delivered it to blew up when I was five miles away.

Sean Fairlie – An ordinary day. No, really.

“He came. He saw. He ate fifty hamburgers and left. WHO WAS HE!?

Kyle Ryan – I was dreaming about stars. Then I woke up and banged my head on a cabinet. Seeing stars…

“So funny! I guess. Well–sort of mean, maybe? After the other guy came by and ate all my hamburgers, I had another visitor. He wanted a hamburger (an original which is why he came to me!) but I didn’t have any meat. So he went out and tried to kill something. He ran after one of those dino-birds, and they chased him around for hours! Personal note: don’t make them mad.

Arcman – Level 33 [Aeromancer]. Drowned Man.

“Lightning! From the sky! He uses one Tier 4 spell outdoors — [Call Lightning]. And believe me, it works. Unless he’s fighting something with extreme defenses (or he’s indoors), I think this guy can work alone. But isn’t it dangerous to use lightning spells because he’s half crab…?

Fox Brown – Level 14 [Actor]. Human.

“Nope. Nope. Hilarious, but nope. He pretends to be a really strong adventurer and scares monsters away. Apparently he’s had a lot of success with Goblin tribes and the like, but he’ll get killed the instant he runs into a Shield Spider. Too bad I had to turn him away; his armor looked quite magnificent, and so did his sword. But it was too dull to even cut butter.

Tildor – A block of jade. Not green; orange.

“I guess the geography of this place…nah, forget it. But people do know about jade here, because this was an important assignment. I carried a fortune in jade to a good stone cutter, dodging a lot of suspicious caravans with guards who were a bit too interested in me for some reason. I mean, this was a big block. Probably worth millions if carved right. Not that I was thinking about that or anything.

5HourLethargy – Never got a good look at him…her…it.

“Some kind of mage specializing in sleep magic. He goes around blowing sand on people and putting them to sleep. Then he robs them blind and runs off. Effective, and uh, he got me, once. I’m going to beat him up and take back the five…thirty gold coins he stole from me!

Felix Farmer – A Drake guy with black scales. He has a straw hat on his head most of the time.

“Another not-quite evil guy. He’s a [Farmer] who specializes in growing poisonous crops. They’re not meant for people to be eaten; they’re supposed to be used as traps for monsters. But some stupid people don’t pay attention and so there have been a few deaths. The Captain just wants me to warn him to warn other people not to be so stupid. How do you grow poisonous plants anyways?

Bethany Kimball – A snake with golden scales. Likes to try and bite me.

“Reminds me of the story about the golden goose. A few caveats here, though: this snake sheds only a bit of gold in its scales, enough to be pretty. And it has to be fed gold dust for the scales, so there’s no free gold here. But some noble loves the stupid thing and so I had to carry it a long way and even feed it twice. It might look golden, but it still craps like a normal animal.

Simon Hopkin – Level 6 [Warrior]. Level 4 [Mage]. Level 5 [Runner]. Level 8 [Brawler]. Level 2 [Thief]. Human.

“How odd! I’ve never met anyone with so many different classes, and so low-level too. He seems like a drifter; he says he wanted to try to become an adventurer after he was a bouncer at a bar, a member of a town militia, and a Street Runner. I guess he’ll be okay as a Bronze-rank, but does he have any useful skills? We’ll see.

Ben Goldstein – The sun is bright. And there are no shadows whatsoever for some reason.

“He came in and challenged me to ULTIMATE CHESS. That’s chess where both of us are blindfolded and play the game while alternating sides so we have to predict which one of us will be the winner. So much fun. I actually lost quite a few games until I got the hang of it!

Hao Tian – Two magical rings. They shine when touched together.

“A pair of rings for an obnoxious couple. They’re the sons and daughters of aristocracy and they ordered a matching set of enchanted rings. Bleh. But the rings are useful. Not only do they shine together, but they can be used to locate the other, and both have strong enchantments against poison, blades, and even sickness. Nice way to show you care, right?

Michael K – Windy day! Explains the visitor I got.

“Would you believe a bird can fly? Wait a second. Um, anyways, he was a flying bird-man! With wings! And a beak! It’s way weirder than it sounds, but apparently he’s part of this bird-people that live on another continent? Anyways, he liked my acid flies a lot, and he ate a lot of them before flying off! He said he had to rejoin his tribe. Sounded pretty urgent, too.

Karen Renee – Level 42 [Pyromancer]. Human.

“I know her. She’s a Gold-rank adventurer, but I had to kick her out of the city and ask Zevara to make sure the gate guards don’t let her in. She might be a great adventurer, but she tends to burn down everything around her by accident. There’s a reason why people call her the Human Fireball. We don’t need her in my city, and anywhere around me, thanks.

Jim Waldrop – A painting. Folded up and shoved into a rough bag.

“Now this is clever. I got a priceless painting of a beautiful landscape–some kind of magnificent aerial view that the artist had to be flown up to see. And it was magnificent. The reason it was disguised was that the client didn’t want to attract attention and risk it being stolen. The painting was in bad shape when I got there, but one [Repair] spell and it was back to normal. Good tactic. I’ll remember this.

Paul Jackson – I thought I heard an owl outside my window. It was just Relc asking ‘who?’ to Klbkch. A lot.

“Relc brought one of his guardsmen friends! A Drake. He was nice, but he kept asking if I wanted to stroke his tail. I think SOMEONE has been talking. I told him no and he seemed disappointed. And Relc got drunk and tried to hit everyone. Including me! They’re all banned for three days, including Klbkch.

Jon L. – A Dwarf with no beard. I think he shaved it as a disguise.

“Uh. He’s a danger? This Dwarf things he’s a high-level [Rogue], but he’s really not. He can’t hide in a dark room and when he pickpockets people he can barely reach into their pockets! I nearly caught him twice, but each time I laughed too hard to get him. Klb is on the case now, and he never laughs. Poor Dwarf. Guess he’s going to jail. Unless he slips between the bars.

Dolphantasia – No actual delivery today. Recording an incident on the road near Celum.

“Ran into another City Runner today. Human (odd that I have to mention that), male. Another City Runner like me. He was busy doing a multi-leg delivery for some big-shot client who was still too cheap to hire Couriers. It was a prototype wand — some kind of weapon against a powerful cult, a group of nasty bastards who have enough firepower to waste a small city. ‘Avocadolph’ I think they’re called. Anyways, he and I ran together for a few hours, but then we got ambushed. [Assassins], warriors and archers, and a [Mage] with lightning spells. I saw him running to get away, but I was too busy dodging arrows. Hope he made it to his destination safely.

Alberto Muñiz – A bar of everlasting soap.

“Everlasting soap. Some kind of high-quality alchemical/mage creation. I’m not sure if it’s actually everlasting; it might just be extremely efficient. Regardless…I want one. Too bad it costs more than the average City Runner earns in a year. I guess someone cares about hygiene.

Lorreina Guyett – A quiver of enchanted arrows. I was given strict instructions not to drop or jostle them.

“Pins and needles. That’s what I was on while doing this delivery. No other Runner wanted to do it; enchanted arrows are notoriously unstable. And if one goes off, they all go off. The female [Ranger] seemed happy enough to get them, I guess. They’re expensive, but really useful against large monsters like Trolls and Manticores and so on.

Devin J Russell – Level 14 [Alchemist]. Drake.

“Deadly potions, the ability to harvest monsters on the spot, and a team player? Wonderful! The only problem is that he doesn’t have anywhere to stay, and I’m not letting him sleep in the guild. I know we have beds, but…no. I’m not having the entire building blown up or set on fire. Again.

Cody Bessert – A quiet day, where leaves fall from some unknown tree high above.

“A sad thing happened today. A young man–a boy, really–came in, looking for his family. He asked me if I knew where his home was. I told him I didn’t know. I offered him a meal, but he said he couldn’t stay. He wandered out, a ghost looking for the place where he had died. I wish I could have hugged him.

Dhruv Garg – Level 25 [Diplomat]. Human.

“He’s from Chandrar, and he thinks he can talk monsters into being peaceful. I uh, don’t think he’s ever met a Rock Crab. A lot of the monsters on his continent are sentient, but I’m not sure his tactics will work here. Too bad. He’s got a really nice voice.

Pavante – A wall in my inn fell down. Turns out I have termites.

“I think he’s a walking…anteater? He’s one of the Beastkin; he heard I had termites and volunteered to eat them all. I’m not sure if I was doing him a favor or he was doing me one. Anyways, he must have been really hungry because he ate them all! And he helped the Antinium fix the walls. Turns out being a [Builder] is a useful class when you visit a lot of ruined buildings.

Ianray7 – A talking head. He kept staring at my breasts until I put him in the bag. Then he complained the entire trip.

“A head. Yeah. It wasn’t an artifact or anything else. It was a legitimate head. Apparently, the String People don’t die when their heads are cut off. They burn, though, which is what I threatened him I’d do if he didn’t shut up. I took him to a tailor to get repaired. I guess it’s all okay, but he was a noisy damn passenger.

Aaron Zamanzadeh – A bottle full of a strange blue liquid.

“I was paid a lot of money to deliver some of this stuff to a merchant. He said he could sell it again for quite a profit, but I recognized the liquid. It’s the same damn stuff Erin served me! Apparently it’s hard to distill because of the poison. That makes me worried about what Erin’s been drinking…

Ionias – Level 19 [Blacksmith], Level 22 [Rogue]. Human.

Where’s the blacksmith!? Seriously though, what an odd combination. She sneaks up behind monsters and then bashes their skulls in with a hammer. It works but…I don’t know. Is this really okay?

 

Sorry Erin, but it’s hard for me to find anywhere else to put this. I’m collecting old stories of adventurers and heroes as part of a project. I’ll write some of them down here.

–Ceria

 

Eric Borjal – Ten thousand years ago. Baleros. The Magus Kingdom of Azervrish.

“I read of a kingdom of Selphids, long ago. Back before their species took over dead bodies, Selphids were far more numerous and enslaved every race they could find. They were ruled by a powerful [Archmage] by this name, but the kingdom fell into ruin after their host slaves and a coalition of other nations destroyed them. The Selphids have not had a nation in the sense of a set area of land since.

Johnny2by4 – Hmm. Some kind of rumor of an adventurer?

“An odd tale. This one was told to me in an inn, so I can’t verify the details. Apparently, there was once a powerful adventurer who was…completely insane. He talked and spoke in odd ways–hence the name. But he was brave and fought well, and he died taking down a dragon. And yet, he insisted others would know of him by his name which is why everyone had to call him by it. Who were his people? Why did they never find him even when he was a Named Adventurer?

Newguy Roy – Legendary [Assassin]? Rumor is twenty years old. Hope he’s dead.

“This is the story I was told, of the innocent killer of Terandria. He looks innocent, and acts like a young man, in both smile and action. But he is ancient, and kills without qualm or hesitation. He’s a half-Elf who cut his ears to look like a Human. And he has never been caught. Gave me shivers when I heard this story.

Wyldie Maxwell – Three hundred years ago, a Human [Mage] in Chandrar.

“She was a weather mage, one of the few powerful enough to manipulate weather for a lasting time over a large area of land. She gave the dry nations bountiful harvests and green lands. While she lived. But she attempted to change the desert, and the effort sucked the life out of her. With her death, all that she had created fell to ruin once more until only sand remained.

Raymond Lirag – Terandria, a hundred years ago. Not rumor or myth; his life is well-documented.

“He was a [Knight] and expert [Blademaster] who taught hundreds, possibly thousands of warriors in his time. The basis of his teachings make up modern sword fighting techniques. I can only imagine that his [Blademaster] class was far higher than his [Knight] class; it might be that he only had one or two honorary levels as a result of his exceptional abilities.

MrD – A [Healer] of great renown. Passed away when I was around 14 years old.

“Most people say that mages and alchemists are the only healers that can manage severe injuries. And yet, this man helped heal countless adventurers who were maimed and crippled. He couldn’t reattach limbs, but he could save people on the brink of death. Apparently, every team of adventurers — even Named Adventurers — wanted him on dangerous expeditions.

 

I don’t care anymore.

–Erin

 

Celerytop – Two packs of celery seeds. Really heavy; joint delivery with Garia.

“Okay, I’m certain that this was a stupid idea. Who has a Runner deliver seeds? Far more cost-effective to order some on one of the slow caravans. But these are…magical…seeds or something. Garia says this [Farmer] grows celery as tall as I am. I guess that’s good? Not really a fan of celery, but at least Garia’s happy about it.

Sean Meyer – An artist? Seriously, Captain? Is this guy really a threat?

“So…yeah. Apparently this Gnoll is a threat. He’s always covered in dried paints which makes him easy to see, and he’s dangerous because he throws paint in people’s eyes. It’s some kind of art, apparently. Pain is expression? I dunno, but I feel like this isn’t worth the time. Unless I can get him to paint Klb. That would be hilarious!

Slayer Monk – Angry Gnoll who keeps punching people. Not hard to find.

“I fought this guy once. He’s…a [Monk]. He punches people. I think he’s just mad or something. Anyways, he’s got an impressive build and his Skills allow him to deflect weapon strikes. We got interrupted in our last match, but this time I’m going to find him and beat him!

Garrick Tan – Silver and gold rings. Some are inlaid with gems.

“A delivery for an [Enchanter]. I was sweating bullets as I carried this package, but the rings are worth far less than they are with magic in them. Apparently, this is enough to last the guy for a year or two. Enchanting takes a long time. Good pay, but ah, I’m not volunteering to deliver the rings when they’re enchanted. Too many people gunning for you, then.

Aka-Senpai – Another weird adventurer. Appeared…ten years back? Dead now.

“This was another odd rumor I heard, of an adventurer who insisted that he be referred to like this. Not sure if he was related to the other one, but he had an odd way of fighting. Insisted on using katanas…three at once, for some reason. How do you use three swords at once? He was strong, but perished clearing a dungeon.

Justin Seldomridge – Red and purple. Those are the only two colors I saw in today. Ryoka thinks it was something I ate.

“He came in when everyone was at my inn. All the regulars, I mean. I feel really, really bad. First Relc hit him by accident, then Toren dropped a plate on him–but only because Pisces tripped! Selys tried to help, but he tried to run away and then kicked Rags in the face by accident. Um. I gave him a full refund.

Morgan Searle – The hero of Ber. The Isles of Minos. Tale is hundreds, possibly thousands of years old.

“A tale Calruz told me. This Human fought in the Minotaur King’s arena for years, besting even the strongest of Minotaur warriors and monsters. But he was brought low by a single lucky strike from a Goblin in a nameless match. Calruz meant it as a cautionary tale, but I wonder if the Goblin was stronger if he could bypass both armor and defensive Skills so easily. Calruz clammed up when I said that, though.

KaiFaust – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! He has no–I mean, his face! It has no…stuff! That stuff around the face! The eyes and teeth and nose is…but the rest is…how can he eat!? He ate some bread and…I can’t sleep. I’m locking the doors. I mean, he was nice, but…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Sanjay – A sword that’s ALWAYS ON FIRE DAMNIT.

“Who make this damn sword!? It’s constantly on fire! Unless it’s in a magical sheathe, it will be on fire and burning everything in sight. But the sheathe and sword were made in different places. And guess who got to deliver the sword over a hundred miles to the damn sheathe? My hair still smells like smoke.

Andrew Cheng – A dangerous Human who’s always blowing on a pipe. He has a hat…?

“A high-level [Plague Tamer]. That’s some kind of version of [Beast Master]. He leads armies of rats and spiders and all kinds of nasty creatures to overrun rural villages. I…don’t want to fight him. Can’t we get some mages to kill him instead?

J H – Level 10 [Runner]. Level 16 [Mage]. Drake.

“An interesting combination. He claims he can do most requests by himself with hit-and-run tactics. He doesn’t have many high-Tier spells, though. I’m not sure I should back him, but I’ll enroll him as a Bronze-rank adventurer while I test him on some light missions.

Mujtaba Syed – From Chandrar, a poem of four hundred years. This is the fragment I recall.

“…and fought and fought into the night, to slay the horrific Ghoulish blight…to fall and die and rise and fly. To serve in death as he did in life.

I can’t understand parts of the poem. Fly? Was he wearing a ring? And who reanimated him? It’s a mystery, but it sounds like he was widely regarded as a hero.

Moxter – Pale, sickly Human male. Often wearing robes. Finish off at range; DO NOT GET CLOSE.

“Another Bloodfeast Raider! This one is famous because he’s specialized in poison magic. He slaughters people with gas clouds or poisons water ahead of attacks. I might be able to hold my breath long enough to get in and out, but he also has a lot of contact poisons. Got to get an archer to wipe this jerk out.

Nystran – I looked out my window and saw a thousand hedgehogs rolling and crawling across the plains. So cute!

“NOT CUTE! He was grabbing hedgehogs and trying to eat them! He was a Gnoll, but…still! I tried to stop him, but when he learned I was an innkeeper, he wanted me to make some food out of the hedgehogs! I mean, I c–no!

Cajer Gong – A bell. It makes no sound when rung.

“Another magical artifact. This one’s a warning bell, tuned to this individual and a few others. A good idea — he can warn a select group of individuals fairly easily. According to the client, the bell is quite audible; he heard me coming from miles away. I guess it’s useful? But a warning’s not much useful if someone’s stabbing you in the stomach.

Alan McBrayer – A Human with a strange smile. That’s all we have to go on.

“He’s a psychopath. He walks around and kills people he doesn’t like. He just…goes up to them and kills them. With his hands. He’s got some kind of dark class and the skills to match. Honestly, I’m worried. He’s not near Liscor, but if he does arrive in our city–it’s too hard to find one person among thousands. Especially with Humans. They all look alike.

Paul Shea – Level 29 [Beastmaster]. Gnoll.

“He was offering to train monsters and animals to help adventurers on missions. I thought it was a good idea, but I was worried that without his influence the creatures would run wild. Plus, housing and feeding them would be a pain. I also think we’d need a permit and…nah, it’s too much work.

Ally – Dude in armor? Maybe female? Human? Drake? Minotaur? Actually, too small to be a Minotaur.

“This is just a fact-finding mission, or so Z says. There’s some crazy person running around helping people in trouble. Doesn’t matter if they’re Drake, Human, pig, whatever. This warrior in armor runs over and helps them fight, usually against monsters. They call themselves ‘ally’, and they seem harmless. But we just want to make sure they’re okay, so my job is to catch them and take off that helmet. As non-violently as possible.

Daniel Ruan – A King Emperor Overlord? I can’t tell what kind of ruler he was. Historically about six hundred years old.

“He was a terrible despot. The worst of people. A monster. But ah, he was still better than the other ruler of a nation across the continent. When he killed the other tyrant people were celebrating him and praising his name for years. Then they wised up and killed him. But he still has statues somewhere.

Atrocitas – The Book of Pain. No, really, that’s what it was called. Fancy ominous lettering on a really heavy book. Blank pages inside.

“I had no idea this world had [Actors]. But apparently, they do, and this guy wanted a specially commissioned prop piece. I’ll give him credit; this is quite a bit more impressive than something from my world. It actually has an aura of darkness, and you can hear screams if you open the book. Not sure what play it’s for but…I’m sort of interested.

Jared – A [Warrior] who died around sixty years ago.

“Here’s a tale I think Ryoka might like. Jared was a low-level [Warrior] who didn’t even have a specialized class. But he was hailed as a legendary warrior for decades afterwards because he managed to bring down a nest of Wyverns. Alone. His entire team had run into them while doing a scouting mission. All of them died, but his corpse was found nearly untouched in the center of a ring of eight adults and twice as many children. I have no idea how he did it, but he must have been an incredible fighter even at low-levels.

Argus Lowell – Brr. Cold floors and I accidentally left the windows open. I should buy a carpet.

“He came in and talked and talked and talked and…gah! I mean, I like to chat but this guy didn’t even stop. Even Toren ran away and my ears started ringing after three hours. He kept eating even when I fed him! He wanted to stay for the night, but I couldn’t handle it. Sorry guy!

Jonathan Green – Level 28 [Farmer]. Human.

“Again, I don’t feel like I should accept these people as adventurers! But he has a ton of combat-oriented skills. Apparently his farm gets attacked so much he learned how to fight with a pitchfork and…yeah. Silver-rank adventurer. No question about that. Pitchforks are scary!

Cantor – Tall Gnoll with dark fur, brown or black, and a scar over both eyes.

“A really unusual case. This guy was a famous [Bandit Lord] back in the day, but an adventurer took him out. Blinded him in both eyes, even though he got away. Normally he wouldn’t be a threat, but his leadership skills are still intact. He’s assembled another group of raiders and they’re getting to be a larger threat. We need to take him out, but he’s hiding. Where could his base be?

Alexander Arnold – A piece of paper folded up with a wax seal.

“Mysterious note/
five bandits try to kill me/
what was the secret?

Alexander Lieberman – A sleepy day. When I woke up, everything was yellow! Probably from all the pollen. Achoo!

“It was a wonderful day with clear blue skies and warm air when he came in. He said he was a [Hedge Mage]. That’s like a mage who taught himself how to use magic. Really cool. Anyways, he’s not a fighter and he doesn’t melt people into puddles. Instead, he uses his magic to help plants grow and cure sick animals! He even gave me a wheel of cheese that tastes really good. Nice guy. Smelled a bit like cow poo, though.

Karsten – A two-year old rumor I can’t confirm. I think the guy at the bar was making this up.

“I’m told there’s a Drowned Man out there who can breathe fire like a dragon. I think this is a complete lie, but I’ve met at least two people who swear they’ve met him. Maybe if the monster-half of him was spitting some kind of acid that looked like fire…I don’t know. It’s a powerful technique if true, but fire? From a Drowned Man? Really?

Maximilianshade – Level 40 [Receptionist]. Drake.

“He wanted MY job! Can you believe–well, he does have a lot of levels. But really! I mean…he might have a lot of Skills, but I know this Guild inside and out! I grew up here! I know all the people! He can’t just come in and…I banned him because he’s obviously not useful. Obviously. We don’t need any extra receptionists either. Nope. He can go work with Humans or somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Aji V – A Selphid. Kill on sight.

“This is a really, really dangerous individual. She–I think it’s a she–doesn’t just inhabit the bodies of the dead. As if that wasn’t bad enough. No; she tracks down strong individuals and takes them over while they’re still alive. We need to kill her quick. Jelaqua Ivirith has volunteered to help take her down when she resurfaces again. Until then, everyone’s going to be watching their tails.

Tetrareggaeton – Small person. Really, uh, small. Not a Dwarf; one of the tiny people. What are they called again…?

“One of the latest members of the Bloodfeast Raiders. I think he’s their scout or something, but he’s quite deadly in combat too. Sure this little fellow isn’t swinging a sword around (or if he is, no one notices), but he’s adept at using poisoned weapons. People will drop dead days after the raiders attack. I’m totally gonna squish him.

Mike Giroux – A 1,500 year old tale among Gnolls.

“Apparently, there was once a Human who earned the respect of the tribes. So much so, he eventually formed his own tribe and led them as a Chieftain! Odd. I can’t imagine Drakes or Humans being too keen being ruled by a different species. As for half-Elves, forget about it. But I guess Gnolls respect ability more than race.

Maxim Despinoy – Level 22 [Healer]. Gnoll.

“We can always use another healer at the guild! This guy won’t actually go with people on missions, but he’s valuable enough that I think we can persuade him to stay at the guild — maybe offer him a free bed? He can help patch up adventurers too poor for potions or who have more complex injures like parasites or…gross stuff.

Caby – A shadow blocks the sun. Is it a tree? Nope. Really tall guy!

“Really, REALLY tall guy! So tall that he couldn’t even really get into my inn. I mean, he could if he sat, but it was easier to bring the food out to him. He tells me it’s easy to run away, but hard to stay anywhere because he’s so tall. I felt bad, so I helped him make an umbrella to help with the weather!

Memnoch – A Trueblood Vampire. Perhaps still alive…? Last sighting was five hundred years ago.

“Vampires. I know all of the famous true Vampires have died, but a [Historian] I met swore to me up and down that this guy was another one. He was a wanderer, not like the ones who holed up in castles, so verifying his existence is hard. But if he was a true Vampire, I can’t imagine how powerful he must have been…

Lightwavers – A storm and a friend.

“A traveller comes/
in pouring rain and thunder/
to sit; chat awhile.

c s – Five words that cannot be repeated.

“My client was…I can’t even remember their face. I know I met them, but the magic enchanting them took the memory of our meeting from my mind. I was told to travel a hundred miles and meet a shadowed stranger just past dawn in a forest under a marked tree and whisper the words in their ear after they had given me a golden token inscribed with the head of a beat and set with tiny ruby eyes. Seriously. Isn’t it overkill? Eh, I got paid well so it doesn’t matter. I did get paid, right…?

 

Human, I’m requisitioning this book for the Watch. I’m recording battles and events on the continent here.

–Watch Captain Zevara.

 

Mark Owen/SideraX/kiraiakuma – Recording a conflict between a three Gold-rank adventuring teams and the Bloodfeast Raiders. Those listed above are the team Captains.

“The Bloodfeast Raiders attacked just past midday. They hit a small village called Gyrss with spells before their warriors closed in. They expected no resistance.

What they found was instead of villagers, three Gold-rank adventurer teams were lying in ambush. The Venom Guard, the Underwalkers, and Parasol joined forces to collect the bounty on the Bloodfeast Raiders.

The collective six mages of the Gold-rank teams blasted at least five raiders apart while the rest of the adventurers emerged from houses and caught the raiders in an ambush. Several raiders fell to blades before the rest retreated. It is believed more died from poisoned wounds, and one corpse was found in the Underwalker’s pit trap–buried beneath the dirt. The adventuring teams lost no members, although several were badly wounded.

Collectively, they’ve earned over three thousand gold pieces from that battle and I expect the Bloodfeast Raiders will be much reduced over the coming months.”

 

Noooooooo! Give me my book back!

–Erin

 

James Morgensen Level 40 [Farmer]. Human.

“Uh, this guy isn’t an adventurer. But he did stop by to drop off a Silver-rank adventurer that he beat up. Apparently, the adventurer picked a fight and he…won. He says he used a hoe, but the Human he brought in was wearing plate armor. I guess a [Farmer] has some skills, huh? I wonder if we can do a deal with his farm.”

Ralf Liebau – Tall, sinister. May smell of alcohol; I dunno. Look, he’s a Gnoll who with a patch over one eye. Shouldn’t be hard to spot.

“A Gnoll [Pirate]! No, I’m not joking. Captain Z thought I was, but this is a real guy! He’s been hitting coastal cities and towns. He pilots a ship with a murderous crew — the Howling Wind. He’s already plundered several dangerous magical objects and he has a scimitar that inflicts cuts which can’t be healed with magic! He’s dangerous, but no one’s going after him because no one believes there’s such a thing as a Gnoll [Pirate]. But he’s real! I swear!”

Colin Packard – Some kind of heroic bug slayer? A story dated around 2,000 years old.

“I swear, ever since people have learned I’m writing this stuff down I hear weirder stories. Apparently, yes, apparently this guy was a famous adventurer who specialized in slaying bugs. Only bugs. He had some kind of unique class. But he fought some really horrific things if the tales are true. Beetles and mutated insects as large as a grown Dragon? Some spit acid, others disgorged their children, or laid eggs in their victims–dead gods, he must have been brave.”

Andrew – My inn still smells like wet dog.

“I think he was a werewolf. He smelled like a dog, and he had fleas. But he might have been a really smelly guy. Anyways, I served him the hamburger raw. And I found a dead Corusdeer on my doorstep the next day. Uh…good dog? Bad dog? He’s got sharp teeth either way.”

Kyle f – So…hot…too hot to write stuff…

“I think I got scammed today! Suddenly it got really hot. Like…so hot that all the water in the inn melted. And when I was just dying for some water, this guy showed up selling water. For five silver pieces a glass. I paid him, and then he left and it got cooler. I tried to go after him, but then I wondered if he’d evaporate all the moisture out of my face or something. Five silver pieces isn’t too bad.”

Sebastian Fisker – A moldy banana peel? Really?

“I thought this was some kind of joke delivery…turns out I was dead right. Some rich [Lord] gets his kicks by making City Runners and Couriers do ultra long-distance marathons delivery pointless (and gross) things. I wanted to punch that bastard, but the pay was good. And he had bodyguards.”

Jonathan Murphy – Level 29 [Bandit]. Human.

“I, uh, don’t know. There was nearly a fight when he walked into the Guild. Apparently this guy was a famous bandit–he successfully robbed a lot of people and even killed some adventurers who went after him. Now he says…well, he came in and says he wants to be an Adventurer. He’s got the skills although some of them are geared more towards theft, but can we trust him? I guess I’ll have to get someone to watch him carefully.”

Niels Martin Hansen – SUPER EVIL CRIMINAL! APPREHEND ON SIGHT!

“This guy. This Human–I just can’t deal with this. I’m getting Klbkch and we’re going down to kick his tail right now! HE ATE THE LAST PIE ON SALE! He’s some kind of–well, I don’t know what he actually does, but he’s going down! Now!”

Clay Ferguson – Recording Relc’s idiot behavior and a potentially dangerous threat.

“Ignore the last entry. That idiot Relc just went after a Human [Merchant] in the city over some kind of argument over a…pie? He’s just lucky Klbkch and this Human stopped him. He’s a [Bodyguard]; a decently strong one, too. He could match Relc for several strikes even though Relc wasn’t too serious and he didn’t have his spear. Regardless, I think the Humans are fine. Relc is docked two weeks pay and scrubbing the barracks as I write.”

Gabriel McCall – Level 14 [Alchemist]. Drake.

“Relc is so stupid…uh, this is Selys! Not Watch Captain Zevara. I just felt I should mention that. Anyways, I’m just writing this down because I was talking with a [Alchemist] about getting some emergency tripvine bags or defensive equipment. Some of our adventurers got chewed up by a rogue Creler a while back, and I want some insurance they can buy. No dice as of yet, though. This [Alchemist] says he mainly makes perfumes. I bought some.”

Netter – One net made of magically-enchanted metal. Explains the name.

“My job was to deliver some kind of extremely heavy and extremely valuable net to a [Netter]. Apparently, it’s a variation of the [Fisher] class, and this one was made to capture dangerous monsters. It’s weighted so the hunter can just hold down the monster and let them starve rather than get close if they’re really dangerous. Useful, smart, but really frickin’ heavy.”

Eric Schulz – A shapeshifter. Yup. Just kill anything suspicious I guess.

“Relc here. It’s so hard to get my claws on this book! I had to steal it from the Captain’s desk to write this…anyways, there’s a bounty out for this…uh, thing. We’re not sure right now if it’s some kind of monster or a person with the ability; in fact, we only know that this  thing is a threat because it was pretending to be that Human I just mentioned until it got caught. It could be smart, it could be really strong, but no one knows. Eh, whatcha gonna do? If I see it I’ll stab it.” 

Øyvind – Recording the death of famed [Protector] and subsequent warnings.

“The Arrowshield of Yws…is dead. He was assassinated by an as-of-yet unknown member of the Assassin’s Guild during an attempt on the life of one of the Lords of the Wall in the Walled City of Zeres. Until further details are known, all cities are to be on the look out for said [Assassin]. Drakes have lost a hero today.”

Tom Jolly – Another Pirate! Human! Scar on his face! I swear it’s true!

“Everyone made fun of me last time about the [Pirate] Gnoll! Even Erin! EVEN ERIN! But this guy’s real, I’m sure of it. I’m gonna catch him and ask him if he knows the other Gnoll guy. And then everyone will know I’m right. Everyone. Oh, and this guy raided a bunch of merchant ships. Totally evil and all that.”

Tazzzo – Potentially dangerous monster. Recording here for prudence’s sake.

“We get these kind of warnings every few years. A Silver-rank adventurer found some kind of inscription on a cave wall about ten miles from the city. Apparently there’s some kind of monster or guardian that ‘steals the essence of magic and claims it as its own to spawn its brood’ by this name. It sounds like a real threat if our ancestors were worried enough to write all this down but…less than 1% of all these threats ever surface. We’ll keep an eye out though; we always do.”

The Sleepless Baron – Recounting the legend of a powerful adventurer. 240 years old-ish.

“This adventurer got his (or her? Can females be barons? I don’t know Human titles that well) name from their impressive feat of endurance. Apparently, an immensely powerful monster was able to cast the [Sleep] spell or a stronger version across a fifty mile radius. It would then devour the helpless victims, until this hero managed to resist the spell and slay the beast. I wonder, though, if this hero was able to reproduce the sleep effect with whatever aspect of the monster was casting the spell? I’ll ask more if I find someone who knows the rest of the myth.”

Jacob n Williams – Confirmed historical record of a Human who lived roughly 122 years ago.

“I found several references to an old [Captain] who was one of the people who crossed the seas, bringing passengers and cargo from Baleros to Izril. Unlike going to Terandria, the journey to Baleros is horrifically difficult with monsters and pirates and weather capsizing most low-level captains. But this Drake was known to sail in convoys of up to 5 ships at a time and he lost only two ships over his lifetimes; an incredible achievement. Too bad he couldn’t fight off the Kraken, though.”

DokkaN – Custom-made stiletto attachment for prosthetic limb.

“My job this time was to deliver a sword-weapon for an adventurer. Even with healing potions and magic, some people lose limbs. In this case, the adventurer could still fight; they had an attachment fastened to their stump which could take weapons. The stiletto is designed to be flicked out and used a concealed weapon; apparently this adventurer fights bandits by taking them off-guard. Nasty. But I guess they do underestimate him when they see he only has one hand.”

Andy Hundt – Continent-wide bounty on the [Assassin] that slew the Arrowshield of Yws.

“It’s been confirmed. I’ve received word from Zeres; this Human was the one responsible for killing the famed protector with a poisoned dart. The [Assassin] is a low-level one, but the poison he wielded was almost instantly lethal. The Humans are refusing to hand them over and of course the Assassin’s Guild claims immunity, but this Human is dead if ever they’re spotted in Drake lands. I’ll pass word to all the [Guardsmen] later today.”

Kevin Bergemann – One wand. Magical; has a tip of melted gold on top of a rather curved stick.

“An odd wand, but I guess it helps with the spell. The entire object is designed to confuse people by messing with their sense of direction. People hit by the spell think and move like the world’s a spiral; they stumble around and it feels as confusing as hell. I know because I asked him to test it on me. It’s a smart investment for an adventurer, which is who the client was. I wonder if it will work on monsters with different senses of balance, though.”

Daniel Hogan – Delivering a pack full of spices to Liscor.

“This one’s a boring job, but I took it to earn some money while I visited Erin’s inn. The Drake I was delivering this to told me he’s not actually using this–he’s a [Trader] who’s going to make the journey from Liscor to one of the Walled Cities. He just needed me to get one last shipment of spices to him before he goes. It’s risky, but he stands to triple his profit if he makes it there alive. I’m hoping he does; spices aren’t they heavy and it’s decent pay.”

Matt Hamm – I am drunk.

“BOught…bought too much stuff form a guy in town city. He is [Brewmaster]. Makes alcohol. Good stuff; tastes like bootes. Tasty boots. Had too much to drink and will lie down now. But sell rest to people? Relc is snoring on the floor. Klbkch dranke 9 cups…am sleep now.”

Osher Pappo – Hangover. Bleh.

“Ryoka says I was stupid and drank too much last night, but she drank more than I did! She’s still sleeping, but I found this other guy on the floor. He was drunk too, but I think he told me he was a [Beast Tamer] looking for some monsters around Liscor that he could raise. That’s cool and all, but now he’s drunk. On my floor. I tried poking him with a stick, but he won’t get up. Oh well.”

Starlit Citadel – NOT A DELIVERY. I saw it as I was running out of Celum!

“It was a goddamn ship flying through the air. I swear, I saw it! There was someone piloting it, but I didn’t see who it was. They flew through the air as if they were moving through water. No one believes me, though, not even Erin! No one else saw it, but I swear, I saw it! I wasn’t–okay, I was drinking but it was real!

Megazver/Clarence Odunsi – Criminal duo. One’s this Drake guy, the other one’s a Gnoll guy. One uses an axe; the other one has lots of knives.

“They’re the two Robber Barons of Brysh! They attack everyone, bandits, monsters, and even adventures and take everything of value from the corpses. Of course, they have to sell everything they take, but they haven’t done it yet. Maybe they’ve got a stash? I’m totally going to beat them up and take give the stolen items back to the people who lost them!”

Indigo – Recording exceptionally dangerous monster!

“This Named Adventurer had died in battle. They perished while fighting in a dungeon to an unknown monster. However, their corpse has reanimated (means unknown) and has already slain a score of victims. I am sending Relc and other cities are sending their highest-level guardsman to form a force to bring down this undead. Every Gold-rank team within two hundred leagues has been alerted. If this creature moves within a hundred miles of Liscor I will close the gates until it is destroyed!”

Nicholas Guyett – A walking pig? Nah…

“I thought I saw a huge hairy boar walking on two legs today. But I guess I was just mistaken? Anyways, this adventurer stopped by. He had a ton of potions that he says he uses against tough monsters. He traded me a small healing potion for food and a bed for the night…he didn’t have any money. Apparently a pig ate it and a few of his potions…hmm…I feel like I’ve forgotten something.”

Will – This is a record of a first-year [Guardsman]’s probation and a suggested commendation for heroism.

“For the moment, I’ve ordered this young Drake clean out the barracks. He may have killed that Rock Crab by himself, but he abandoned his post to save the patrol. He’ll be under probation for three weeks and then we’ll give him the medal.”

Gordon Chen – Why do I have THREE EYES ON MY HEAD!?

“Oh, wait, this was all a dream! I met this guy in my dream–he told me he was a [Shaman]. Oh, and he was a Gnoll. He helped me with this weird dream I had where I had three eyes and Gazi was trying to poke them out because she was jealous. Apparently [Shamans] can walk through dreams. That’s so cool.”

Daniel – TodaywasareallygreatdayIguessIdunnoitwasniceokay?

“I…bought a lot of sugar today. So much sugar. Too…much…sugar. It was really cheap and this Drake said he had a great deal for me! So I made some really, really sweet stuff. Pies, ice cream, even a milkshake! I ate too much and then this adventurer came by. I fed him like…a lot of food and he ran off saying he’d slay every monster in the area. I hope he’s okay. I’m gonna throw up now.”

Alexander Kirst – Level 14 [Martial Artist]. Selphid.

“Ugh. I mean, uh, it’s not that he’s a Selphid. But this is so complex! He came into the guild and asked to join, but he’s a [Martial Artist]. It’s a class not common to this continent and I just don’t know how to rate him. When I asked him to try himself against a Silver-rank adventurer he was easily able to throw the other guy into a wall, but…would that work on monsters? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll ask Ryoka about it.”

Andrew Muller – A mason’s jar.

“One tearful request.

Memory’s delivery;

A hero’s last rest.”

Scott Saley – Not a delivery; got my ass kicked and I feel like writing it down.

“Apparently, Drakes play a game reminiscent of football. I saw a few of them playing outside and wanted to join in. I was doing pretty well until a Human adventurer decided to join in. Apparently Humans play the same game, and a [Warrior] with bull-rushing skills can hit me hard enough to make the world disappear for a few seconds. I’m not doing that again.”

Ala Will – Potential recruit?

“An interesting question has arisen today. I’ve received a request from a Human to join the City Watch. He has a decent level for a [Guardsman] that served in Human cities; he’s Level 18 or so he claims — will back up with magical artifact — but I’m conflicted over the choice. A lot of the Watch feel we don’t need a Human to do our job, and I’m of the same view. But this man claims he wants to work here because of the better conditions compared to a Human city. I’ll think it over and get back to him tomorrow.”

James Panao O’Connor – Foreign dignitary.

“A high-level [Emissary] came to treat with our city today. He comes from Baleros, and aside from his diplomatic classes he’s quite capable in combat. Baleros’s best dignitaries are always combat-capable. He’s offering a lucrative trade deal, but the distances involved are prohibitive. I’m just writing this down in case he causes trouble; the last dignitary we got picked a drunken fight in three bars.”

Rob Adams – There’s a walking banana outside my inn…

“I ate a bad mushroom. But the nice man came by and didn’t get mad when I threw a knife at his face! I gave him a free meal on the house after the floor stopped getting up to walk away. He even stayed the night, although he didn’t want to try my mushroom surprise dish.”

CredulaPostero – Level 11 [Warrior]. TROLL.

“He was a troll! I swear! He was huge and–and he spoke! He talked as if he was educated! I thought I was going to die, but he kept swatting aside adventurers and asking if he could join! In the end I had to say no–just imagine the trouble he’d cause! He looked disappointed and said he’d try a Human guild. I think…should I warn someone?

Dane Miller – An old legend of a famous [Woodcutter]. 80 years old?

“This story comes to me from a credible source. Apparently, there was a woodcutter who reached such a high level that they could fell entire trees with a single cut. That sounds…plausible. It might not work for a really big tree or some of the stone or metal ones–or these blue fruit trees Erin keeps talking about–and the skill might only work once or twice per day, but I could see that. Apparently, Adventurer Guilds would call on him whenever a treant or wood-based monster showed up. He was living death against them.”

Tristen Ogle – One new sword. Steel.

“Battlefield delivery. The request was to deliver it to a soldier and so I did. Those damn archers kept shooting at me until one of the [Mages] kicked up a sandstorm. Anyways, I got the sword to the guy just in time for him to run someone through with it. Barely got away before the cavalry charged. Last time I take on a request from a [Soldier].

Django Bonderman/Cameron Duncan – Chocolate rain! Chocolate r–wait, that’s not chocolate…

“I saw two mages duel today! Can I call it a wizard duel, or is that the wrong word? Anyways, these two guys got really mad at each other because one of them trash-talked the other’s magic. Anyways, they started throwing spells at each other on a nearby hill. One was a [Geomancer], and the other one was an [Aeromancer]. In the end, there were so many dirt tornadoes and pieces of mud falling from the sky that Zevara sent the Watch out! They shot arrows at the mages and then the mages made a dirt tornado which blew a bunch of the guardsmen all over the place. They had to run when the Antinium showed up, though. It was fun to watch!”

Joseph Gratian – Level 41 [Chef]. Human.

“He said he wants to try something else after cooking food all his life. I was dubious…until I saw his knife skills. Apparently he got a lot of weapon proficiency skills and he can even slice apart iron with a normal knife! I’m elevating him to Silver-rank immediately, and we might get better food in the guild as well! Ours could use some more seasonings.”

Zachery R Hunnicutt – A ghost? Yeah, I can’t stab that.

“It’s Relc time! This is a ghost. Yeah. It’s a Human ghost who used to be this fancy [Fencer]. Apparently he didn’t stay dead and now he’s going around challenging people which isn’t fair since they can’t usually hit him back. He’s good enough to dodge spells and I uh, I don’t want to fight him. Maybe I’ll let Klbkch handle that.”

Chris M – A Gnoll with crimson fur. I think he dyes it.

“Yeah, it’s me, Relc, again. This other guy’s sort of a threat? He messes with the Gnoll tribes and they’ve put a bounty on him. He plays pranks, apparently. Just that. He dips other Gnolls’ tails in sticky tar or paint, tosses pricker burrs on them…I really don’t get it. But he sounds sort of cool.”

David Wells – Recording a negotiation in progress with the Antinium and a construction expert.

“This isn’t my field, but I was called in to intermediate between Klbkch and a construction expert working on behalf of the city. The Drake has a specialized version of the [Builder] class that allows him to build superior wells that resist tunneling monsters, contaminated water, and so on. The only problem is that the bargain with the Antinium means they must be consulted with any construction projects. The [Builder] wasn’t too keen to work with the Antinium, but he took the request. The estimated cost for all the wells will run past two thousand gold pieces.”

Nuraku – Level 22 [Ninja]. Human. Or so the note said…

“I can’t prove this one. I turned my back for a second to go to the bathroom, and then I found a note on the counter. No one saw anyone put it there, but it listed this person’s class and race and asked if they could join. I wrote down ‘yes’, and after a few minutes the note was gone! Either the adventurers are playing a trick on me, or there really is some hidden person in the guild. I’d better watch where I change clothes.

Ludwig Pummer – Delivering a sealed, enchanted box that contained…confectioneries.

“I…guess it makes sense. I did a delivery for a famous [Baker] and carried the damn box to another city just so someone else could eat it. The box was made so it would preserve the taste and freshness of the food the instant it was done. Gotta say, I was hungry when the client pulled it out. But all that money and time for…muffins?”

Noah GS – A beautiful rainbow in the sky. That’s all you need for a good day.

“Nothing bad happened. Instead: rainbows! Not just one…fifteen! Turns out there was a [Mage] hired by Liscor to make rainbows and other cool stuff! Every Drake and Gnoll came out to watch; Klbkch told me that the city does that to make everyone feel better now and then. And the [Mage] guy told me that he specializes in illusion magics. He’s got such a cool job!”

Bryan Simmons – Mushroom attack! Mushroom-themed dishes are half off!

“A bunch of walking mushrooms attacked my inn today. I mean, they were walking but more like they had these little round things they used to crawl and–it’s sort of gross if you look closely. But they had little mouths and they tried to bite me! I uh, got a frying pan and hit them for a while. I made a big soup and served them to this guy and gave him food poisoning. Oops! But, uh, at least I figured out which ones are poisonous. (It’s the orange ones!)

Mikael Ahl – A spell scroll. Smells of garlic.

“Do Vampires exist? Crap. I’m going to have to worry about more stuff each night, aren’t I? I just delivered a high-level spell scroll to a guy who’s convinced a Vampire is living in his town. It’s made to emit bright light, stink up the place with garlic, and has several locating spells built in. The guy’s armed with a crossbow filled with wood bolts and he’s got a stake. I’m wishing him the best of luck; I got the impression he’s not fighting sparkling Vampires.”

Hans C. – The legend of the [Shield Hero]. Unconfirmed; thousands of years old.

“Honestly, I’m not even sure how old this myth is. And no one can confirm that there even is a [Shield Hero] class. I mean…I’ve never heard of a [Hero] class except in legends. But here’s what I was told: there was once a warrior who had so many skills that he could even block Dragon’s fire and lightning. I’m not even sure how you can block lightning if you’ve got a metal shield. Unless he didn’t have one. Whatever. I’ve written down the story.

Vin Reisling – Acid flies are all over the place! Hide!

“I…saw someone get melted today. He was a powerful mage–I mean, really powerful! He was shooting lightning and everything. He even killed a Rock Crab! But then the acid flies were everywhere. At first he zapped them with a shield of lightining, but then a HUGE one flew down and…melted…him. I’m hiding in my inn until they go away. Poor mage guy!

Todor Markov – Enchanted grain, a big bag of it. Too heavy for me, but Garia was busy and they wanted speed…

“Apparently, even [Bakers] need a bit of magic. This one in particular needs magic grain apparently, which begs the question of where the grain came from. He told me that you can’t just enchant some grain–you have to sew the soil with magic and let a high-level farmer grow the crop to do it properly—anyways, he was using it to bake a single loaf of bread. Just one. Apparently he can make it so the bread will have all the properties of a huge bag, perfect for a long trip. A small piece and you’ve had a meal. And it smelled delicious when he brought it out of the oven…

Wyldie Maxwell – Level 22 [Seer]. Human.

“Another interesting adventurer! This Human is a Wistram mage, and she says that aside from knowing a few basic combat spells, she’s got a lot of detection and divination spells. Her abilities are sort of like an advanced [Dangersense], only she knows in which direction trouble’s coming from and how bad it is. Definitely a useful addition to any team; people area already approaching her as I write!”

Dane Miller – There’s a nice breeze blowing today. I can see flying squirrels in the window.

“I just had the coolest guest come into my inn! He’s a [Miller], and he’s AMAZING! He’s this old man who’s Level 40, and he’s not afraid of monsters or bandits or anything! Apparently, even grinding flour gets you amazing skills–he can throw flour and turn it into this wall-thing! The cloud is like iron, and if he wants he can also ignite the flour at will! Flour is the coolest! Plus, it makes tasty bread.”

Andrew – No! NO! GO AWAY!

“It’s not happening. I’m dreaming. I’m not staring at a talking watermelon on one of my tables. And I’m writing this down because when I look at it tomorrow, Mr. Watermelon is going to be gone and he’s not going to shout at me and call me names…”

It was all just a dream. Thank goodness!

–Erin

Boredwayfarer – AAAAAAAAAH! IT WAS REAL!

“HE ATE HIM! THE WATERMELON JUMPED ON HIM AND ATE HIS HEAD! I thought it was all a dream yesterday, but when this guy came in, the watermelon leapt out of the shadows and ate his head! Now there’s a Gnoll with a watermelon on his head running around and screaming at people! Relc chased him off, but what if he comes back!?”

Jacob Imming – Various dead animal parts in a large pack.

“This was a delivery for a Gnoll [Shaman]. He apparently needs…or wants…various parts from monsters and animals. Most of what I had to deliver was dried and wrapped, but some was fresh and it…squished…in my pack. I’m going to buy a new one after this.”

Dertyer – The legendary horse-guy! I’ve got to catch him! He always rides a horse, so finding him is easy.

“This guy’s a famous bandit! He’s a really high level [Rider]–probably a unique class. He can ride any kind of animal; horse, goat, pig–even Centaurs! Good news is that if you can dismount him, he’s not very dangerous at all. Mounted though, I’d better watch myself. He can outrun even a Courier with the proper mount and if he charges I’d better have a spear ready or he’ll trample me. Again.”

Jessica Björklund – Detailing a new recruit for the Watch in Liscor.

“Ever since we reversed our policy on hiring Humans, we’ve gotten a few good applicants. This is one of them. This woman is a former [Sea Raider]–I know she has a criminal past, but she’s helped crush several bandit groups up north and comes highly recommended. She’s an expert with an axe and shield, and her [Warcry] talents will make her an asset. Plus, she can swim which is essential…”

Benjamin Johannsen – ‘Twas a dark and spooky night. Yesterday, I mean.

“This guy’s a stabbing-man. In that he stabs things repeatedly. He stabbed my door to open it, he stabbed the soup I served him, and he stabbed the Rock Crab on the way out. He had no hands, and just blades on his stumps which is, y’know, cool but impractical. He was really good at playing chess, though!”

Garrison – Human. Has a big helmet, a tad battered but made of enchanted steel. The guy’s as big as a house apparently, so shouldn’t be hard to miss.

“Relc again. This time I’m being told there’s some former Gold-rank adventurer who’s gone rogue. And he’s not a [Rogue] rogue, he’s…a dude in armor. He got the name ‘Garrison’ because with his Skills and his armor he can literally take on a garrison of low-level [Soldiers]. I’m not sure I can pierce his plate armor with my spear, so I might have to get a [Mage] for this one. Worst comes to worst, we can just drown him in a lake.

Kate – Fifteen scars on her face, and a slight lisp when speaking. She uses a crossbow, and she’s a Drake.

“Relc again, with a special person to find and kill! Are they back? The Bloodfeast Raiders might not be dead! This woman seems like she’s a survivor, and she’s broken from their usual way of hiding then attacking. She’s cutting a path through one of the Human settlements up north, and it looks like someone nearly killed her once. She’s dangerous–even though she fights at range she almost never misses. I might need to get a shield before attacking her…”

Derek Rascon – Fifteen gold pieces.

“Yeah, that’s right. Someone paid me a gold piece to deliver fifteen gold pieces. Go figure. But my client needed the money fast, and he was willing to send a [Message] spell to the Guild for it. Apparently, he’s a pretty good [Mage], but a poor gambler. And when you can’t pay up in one of the seedier gambling dens in town, well, you’d better cough up fast.”

Michael C Naebers – A [Gardener] who passed away four years ago.

“This one’s just a curious tale I heard of about a Gardener in Chandrar. Despite the heat and lack of water, his abilities allowed him to create an oasis even in the middle of the desert. He did great business with everyone who passed by his home, although he needed to hire help to fight off bandits. When he died, the entire oasis died within the week and was engulfed by the sands.”

Olof Hedberg – Eight ingots of purest steel for the dentist/blacksmith man.

“A grin of steel’s fire

Forging metal for empty gums

Fucking scary teeth.

Shawn Eichner – SWAMP THING! Oh wait…

“It’s not a monster, it’s an adventurer! With weird armor. He came into my inn and I threw stuff at him until he told me he was friendly. Apparently, he’s a solo adventurer who found this cool armor that absorbs vines, plants, and mud and turns it into a living suit of armor. It’s bulky and it smells, but he didn’t die even when I threw a knife into his chest! Go armor! I also said sorry and gave him a meal on the house, because that was rude.”

Jakob Wahlén – Carn Wolves are howling outside! Quick! Bar the doors and hide under the bed!

“A pack of evil Carn Wolves moved into the area! They were howling all the time and two nearly ate me when I went out! I don’t know what I would have done–but then this [Hunter] showed up! Actually, he says his real class was [Wolfbane Hunter], which sounds amazing. And he managed to wipe out all the Carn Wolves! By himself! Turns out they taste great when friend properly, and their pelts are so warm…”

Rohan – There’s a deer outside. Wait…that’s not…

“There’s a guy with antlers walking around. He uh, came into my bar for a drink. When I asked about the horns, he told me it helps with the disguise. Apparently he…pretends to be a deer to avoid being attacked. I don’t think it works, because he’s pretty obvious, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. On the other hand, there’s this obnoxious deer that wandered into my inn. He keeps trying to eat my flowers! Wait a second…

Ralf Lieban – Level 33 [Tailor]. Human.

“Not a new recruit for the Adventurer’s Guild, but I thought I should log him anyways. He’s our new go-to [Tailor] for the Guild, for which we get a 15% discount on all his wares. This is HUGE, because adventurers are always complaining that they don’t look sufficiently ‘cool’ enough and I need a new dress. Forget Silver-rank teams; we need more Gnolls like him. He’s already got a month’s worth of backlog orders! I should tell Erin about this as well…

Daniel Sigui – Level 31 [Fistfighter]. Drake.

“Silver-rank. No question about it. His fists are like iron and he’s faster than almost anyone I’ve seen when I tested him. With that said, he’s not killing any Rock Crabs anytime soon. Honestly, this guy is best in a brawl against other humanoids; people have weapons for a reason and I’ll have to make sure he doesn’t go on a mission fighting Crelers or something that can’t be punched to death. Still an asset, though.”

Ahmet Can CURA – The sun is bright today. It’s setting fires.

“A lovely sparrow flew overhead today! He was so cute and he twittered at me. Then a Drake SHOT AND ATE HIM. Oh, that wasn’t this guy, though. This guy was the angry [Birdwatcher] that ran over and punched the Drake in the face and then started kicking him. I had to pull him away and calm him down. He was a nice guy, but he really liked birds. The Drake had five broken bones…

Spencer Baird – Enchanted chain mail. Green, for some reason.

“Does anyone know how heavy chain mail is? I had to lug this damn stuff all the way to another city for a stupid Drake. Turns out he wanted the chain mail enchanted and then colored green to match his scales. Is it practical? …Eh, I guess it helps with the element of surprise. It’s actually a pretty good trick. But still. Frickin’ heavy.”

LazyDragon – The wind goes silent, but the grass is still rustling.

“DUN DUN DUN. The moment this Drake walked in, I knew. She’s a [Tactician] from one of the Walled Cities, and she came all the way up here to have a chess battle against me! It was epic. We traded pawns, she took my rook while I got her bishop–but in the end, the better player won. We played eight games and I won them all. Uh, I probably should’ve taken it easier on her. She ran out shouting that she’d be back one day. Sounds fun!”

Ben Toner – Is it blood raining from the skies or something else? I’m staying indoors either way.

“A marching band came to Liscor! They were so much fun–they played all these great songs and then they tossed their instruments down and started shooting whit crossbows! It turned out they were a gang of thieves! Anyways, I had a really nice snack courtesy of this guy at one of the stalls. He served me and some other people while Relc and Klbkch fought off the evil band. Mm. Mustard and smoked meat. Very tasty.”

Tim Joseph Dumol/M Allen – Recording an incident between two [Merchants].

“Both are in the holding cells right now. Apparently, the two were negotiating the sale of a potent magical artifact (ring held in custody until both are released), and one of them managed to convince the other to part with it for a nominal price, probably as the result of a Skill. However, when the deal was made the first ‘merchant’ tried to stab the other. He failed to his surprise because the other merchant was wearing armor underneath his clothing. apparently, both were [Assassins] hired to kill the other party. I’m really not sure what to do with either of them, but it is funny.”

Pat Van Riend, Joshua Harrison, Jared Trent – Four bottles of magical healing potion altered to sooth the vocal chords.

“I swear to god I’m not making this up. I was doing a delivery and I found a Drake, a Human, and a Gnoll…acapela group. I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP. Why the hell is no one around when I find these people? Anyways, these three guys go around singing in towns and villages and…they’re really good. Seriously. I would’ve taught them a few songs from my world just to hear them sing it, but the Carn Wolves started howling and I didn’t want to find out if the singers could tame the wild beast with song. Who knows? They probably could.

Jonathan Wong – Records of an [Alchemist] who might still be alive.

“This is another tale I’m being hired to look into. Apparently, there’s an offshoot class from the [Alchemist] class that focuses specifically on toxins and venoms. I think it actually ties into the [Assassin] class which is a terrifying thought. Apparently this man, known as the Black Gardener keeps or kept a collection of poisons so potent that you can’t even breathe safely in his workshop. I really don’t want to know if he’s alive, but if he is, I’ll bet he’s employed by the Assassin’s Guild.”

Josh Gao – Human with red hair, lots of teeth. Sometimes naked.

“It’s Relc! I just got another bounty in, so I took this book out of Erin’s inn to write it down. Okay, ready for this? Some crazy from Baleros made it all the way here. He’s a [Wildsoul Warrior], which is sort of like a [Beast Tamer]. Except, instead of commanding animals he acts like one, even becomes one! Apparently if he goes nuts he fights like a crazy animal, which sounds totally cool. And uh, dangerous. Anyways, I’m going to go find and kill him! Later!”

Amit Amin – The hills are alive with cute little flowers and bees! And rocks!

“I tripped today, chasing a butterfly. It really hurt. And my knee was so badly hurt I couldn’t stand up. Maybe I would have died there, eaten by the butterflies and bees if a friendly [Healer] hadn’t come along. He mixed this poultice which got me back on my feet and the next day there wasn’t even any swelling. Just a cool guy I wanted to write about.”

Robin Henderson – A puffball? Some kind of extremely fluffy seed core.

“Turns out I’m allergic to the damn stuff. And it also turns out that there are some things that are illegal to transport. I got stopped by an armed force of [Guardsmen]. Turns out what I was carrying was a very invasive seed plant that pratically kills off wildlife around it. Guess what? My client is the first damn terrorist in this world; he was trying to sew the seed in the Human cities and wreck the ecosystem. He’s on the run now; who knew a [Botanist] could be so dangerous?

Drake Lundstrom – The legend of the flying Gnoll. Around 6,000 years old?

“Do you believe a man can fly? Obviously with a [Flight] spell. But what about a Gnoll? They don’t use magic, but there’s a tale of a Gnoll who flew with a magical artifact. All the Gnoll tribes tell the story. This Gnoll took a spear and flew into the air. First he hunted birds, then Wyverns, then creatures even more fearsome than that. His last kill was a Dragon. I don’t know, it’s a cute story for the kids, but really? Flying Gnolls? I just can’t imagine that.”

Chris Hahn – Recording a Creler attack fifty three miles north of Esthelm.

“Incident: A group of travellers on the road ran into a swarm of Crelers. Estimated number over forty. They cut down the travellers and proceeded to eat and kill everything in sight. An unlucky Silver-rank response team was overwhelmed within seconds. The one survivor was a Human smart enough to run and hide his body heat in one of the rivers. The Crelers were too busy feasting to notice him and he got word to the city. Gold-rank teams are being hired now, and the Human has gained the [Survivor] class and several levels.”

Mickaël Gainsbury – The ground is…shivering…

“Pisces has a friend. A horrible, horrible friend. He came by riding a horse. Except the horse was dead. And everything around the inn–the bugs in the grass, the dead birds–even a dead COW that had been buried underground came back to life! He and Pisces led the procession of the dead out into the plains. I stayed indoors and scrubbed myself with soap. There were over fifty rats buried in the ground under the inn.”

Juciliano Luna/Isaac Boyles – THE LEGENDARY DUO! THE TWIN RIDERS, THE–

“Captain Z tells me I shouldn’t speak out loud as I write. It’s exciting, okay? We have a pair of real legends tearing up the southern part of Izril! Okay, they’re bandits, but it’s a famous duo! One of them’s a Centaur, and the other one’s a Lizardman! The Lizardman has some kind of [Knight] class and the Centaur is a powerful [Warrior]. And when one rides the other, they’re unstoppable! They combine the skills of a mounted warrior with an individual one–it’s a double buffing combination! They’re famous outlaws in Baleros, uncaught for half a decade! I’m going to find them and get their autographs! And then catch them of course. Obviously.”

Chris Bates – Detailing an encounter with a [Mage] within the city limits.

“I’m still not sure if we should put a bounty on his head. One one hand, he used an unauthorized city-wide spell. It attracted all the vermin within the city and formed…well, I can only call it some kind of rat army. He claims he needs it to clear out an infestation of Mothbears. I can’t imagine how they’d be that useful, but then again, he has enough rats, mice, and other creatures to drown a legion of Mothbears. I should arrest him, but I don’t want to tangle with a mage who can cast magic that powerful. And all the pets are gone…”

Martin Dobell-Brown – A rapier with a silver bell.

“Apparently, this means something. Something important, or else I wouldn’t have been paid in gold for an express delivery to deliver this unscratched to a [Fencer]. He was nearly in tears when he got it, and I have to say, when he demonstrated his skills to the crowd of people that had gathered when he received it, he looked pretty deadly. Who knew rapiers existed in this world? But why the bell?”

Thomas Platt – Was it a dream…?

“I heard a knock on my door late, late last night. When I opened it, I saw a man made of bread smiling at me! He broke off a bit of his head and asked me if I’d trade that for a meal. I fed him vegetable soup and greasy sausage and he left a bit of himself as payment. Ryoka says I was dreaming but I had a loaf of weird bread on my table the next morning. Explain that! Also, I’m not eating it. Just…I’m just not going to.”

Kristian Gjengedal – Not a delivery. Recording an encounter on the road.

“I met a Courier who runs slower than I do. She’s a [Shieldbearer] and she runs with two shields at all times. Apparently, she’s a former soldier. Two shields sounded stupid to me, but both of hers are enchanted for protection as well as offense. She claims she can deflect spells with one, and the other is razor-sharp around the edges. She offered to have a sparring match with me to prove she deserves to be a Courier. I…valued my health too much to take her up on that offer.”

Joel Sampson – There’s the smell of spring in the air. Which is odd, because it’s winter.

“I met a really nice young man today! He told me he was a [Farmer] and offered me a bunch of eggs and even a chicken if I’d make him a meal! I did and he ate a lot and we had a lot of fun! He even taught me a new way to play cards. But it turned out he was no [Farmer] at all. Instead, he was a [Thief] and I’d made him breakfast! Relc chased him away, but I hope he didn’t get caught. He was nice, and he didn’t try stealing from me.”

Samuel George – Level 42 [Barber]

“With scizzors in hand,

He shears the land of monsters.

The [Barber]; Gold-rank.”

See? I can do it too!

–Selys

 

Zach Hutcheson – Funny story that I thought Erin might like.

This is Ceria. Why did I write that? I must be reading too many of Relc’s entries. Anyways, I heard a story that reminded me of one of the jokes Erin told me once. Apparently there was a Drowned Man who fought as an adventurer. One day, while he was fighting against bandits he took an arrow to the knee, crippling him as an adventurer. Five months later, he found the bandit camp again and slaughterer them. His knee had regrown into a crab leg which shot spines. Not very funny, but Erin’s joke wasn’t either.”

Zhaslan Doschanov – Level 18 [Defender]. Drowned Man.

“His class isn’t anything to speak of, but he’s tough. Most of his body is this…carapace? I think that’s the word for it. It looks like a crab’s shell, and with it and his defensive skills he could probably walk through a rain of arrows and emerge unscathed! I’m definitely putting him on the list if we need fighters to take down Thornshot Tanglers.”

Joseph Dye – A spear made of red wood tipped with an amethyst spearhead.

“I was told that this spear was extremely fragile so I shouldn’t hit it on anything. The man I brought it to was old–in his seventies, maybe. He looked haunted. Can someone live on hate? He took the spear and paid me in gold coins. He told me it had been made to kill one monster and one alone, and left me in front of the cave. I waited and heard the scream, and nothing more. I didn’t enter, and left as the sun began to set.”

Roger Tuley – Level 33 [Butcher]. Human.

“…No. It’s rare that we turn anyone down to become an adventurer. Normally I have to turn people away because they’re unqualified, but this guy? His Skills make him really cook at killing things with…flesh, but I just can’t. I’m imagining him fighting Goblins and I just can’t do that. Even if they’re evil little bastards, we have to have standards.”

Ethan Black – Fifteen balanced throwing daggers, steel, silver, and one which looks like some kind of red iron.

“Today’s delivery was simple, but the man I delivered the daggers to? Not so much. Turns out he’s a [Juggler], and as part of his act he can juggle over twenty objects at once. But the daggers have another function as well. Local rumors say that if someone tries to mug him, he’ll start juggling daggers, and eventually their heads once he gets enough spinning blades into the air. Yikes.”

Sirin15, KDN, Wewt, FusedBump96 – A famous group of adventurers, circa…well, a thousand years back. Terandria, mainly, but reports of them on Baleros as well.

“Is this a joke? These have to be made up names, right? But I’ve checked, and there are actual records in some of the Adventurer Guilds of these people. They were an old-school adventuring team back when Dragons were still flying around with regularity. A [Stormwalker], some variant of the [Aeromancer] and [Hydromancer] class, a famous [Sharpshooter], a (former) [Bandit King], and a [Everflame Alchemist] made up one of the most famous Named Adventurer teams of their era. Among their accomplishments, they took down a Magna Whale, halted some kind of underground invasion, and even fought a horde of Vampires. I say ‘fought’, because that was how they died. But their names…I mentioned them to Ryoka, and she got all quiet and didn’t talk about it. Who would give themselves a name like FusedBump96? Unless he had some kind of nasty contagion…?

Lord Schulz – Fifteen bottles of assorted liquors, all high-grade.

“I was afraid my pack would catch fire and explode from all the alcohol I was carrying. The [Lord] I delivered the alcohol to can hold his drink, apparently. He must have [Alcohol Tolerance] or maybe even complete immunity, because some of the bottles–when he opened one, I felt myself getting drunk! I have a hangover as I’m writing this–is it possible to go over 200-proof? Can you distill vapors, maybe? Because hell…I want to try it.

 

Chris F – A hat.

“Yeah, I delivered a hat. To be fair, it was a magical hat enchanted to resist wear and tear and even repel insects, but let’s be honest—it’s not exactly armor. The adventurer who requested the delivery seems to prioritize style over function. Sure, it looks okay on him, but I hope a Mothbear eats his face off.”

 

Sebastian Browne – Pickup, rather than delivery. Several miniature clay pots, all filled with volatile unnamed substances.

“In a world where monsters are common and combat can be a daily occurrence, who needs someone like a [Potter]? Lots of people, apparently. I visited a rather famous [Potter] who had an order of alchemical pots to be sent to the local Adventurer’s Guild and a bunch of caravan guards. Apparently, a cheap pot made by an expert is the best sort of container for one-time consumables and weapons. Aside from making weapons to be filled, I gather this man also makes money hand-over-fist by supplying the local region with all the earthenware they need. He’s way richer than most Runners will ever be—am I in the wrong job?”

 

Gilgilad7 – A throwing star. Rather, a collection of them, all so sharp they have to be specially wrapped or they’ll slice through the cloth.

“Guess this world has ninjas. Oh, sorry. I mean, [Ninjas]. Not that my client was one of them; he’s just a Drake obsessed is exotic weapons. He had a zweihänder in his house, as well as a chakram! They’re from Terandria and Baleros respectively. Hm. If there are [Ninjas], how do they differ from the [Assassin] class? Cultural subtext? Who would win a fight? Ah well, at least I got paid well for delivering the shurikens. I sort of wanted to toss them though.”

 

Visi – An everburning flame, contained in a beautifully made pot from the last guy.

“This is another item that I want more than anything—if I had the coin. This little…spell-device is worth a fortune, which is why dropping it was out of the question. Of course it was protected against stuff like that, but still. The woman’s actually just a [Baker]—she saved up for YEARS to buy this. But it’s a worthwhile investment. Just think about it—the flame will never go out! True, it’s not a strong flame, but the possibilities are endless. For her, it’s a valuable tool that will save her hundreds of gold pieces in the long run—one useful trick is to use the everflame to dry out wet fuel and increase your supply of firewood. But what if I had one? Could I make an infinite energy machine? God, the possibilities…too bad I couldn’t steal it.”

 

Eng Wei Leong – Level 15 [Martial Artist]. Human.

“This is so strange! I would never have thought the dungeon was already famous enough to attract people from other continents! I’ve only heard of people with this class—they’re supposed to be even better than [Brawlers] or [Fistfighters]! She’s certainly very graceful, but I don’t know if she’ll be able to find a good group. Adventurers like working with known quantities and uh, she’s not. I’ll put in a good word for her, though. Anyone who can kick like that deserves a chance!”

 

Chris Oltyan/Chris Swetenham – Achoo! I keep sneezing for some reason. I’ve been sneezing all day long! Achoo!

“Today two strangers came into my inn! They were both [Merchants] and they had a lot of stuff to sell me! …Most of it wasn’t anything I needed. Amulets to ward off bugs, a stick that starts fires—sort of like a match, but magic! They’re a pair of wandering salesmen, and they’re both named Chris! But they’re not related. They just had the same name and they got into business together! They were cool and friendly, so I fed them a lot of bacon and they paid me back with the fire stick. That was cool…but it got taken away from me by Klbkch after I started a fire.”

 

Alex Baker – Detailing a prominent Watch Captain of Umic, a northern Human city.

“It’s not as if we’ll ever come to blows with the Human cities, but it’s always good to keep tabs on prominent figures and effective strategies. This Watch Captain is no former [Soldier] like those most often recruited in Drake cities; rather, he’s a former Adventurer, a [Rogue] of all classes! I’m not sure what makes people trust him, but he’s apparently honorable—and effective. He can track down a group of thieves within the day, and his [Guardsmen] are adept at subterfuge. Unconventional, but effective.”

 

Joshua Trestrail – From where and when did I hear the sigh?

“‘Twas like a last goodbye.

A whisper in the ear, quiet word

That crept upon me as I slept, unheard

Save in my dreams. And I woke and

Knew; he lies buried ‘nearth dirt and sand

Five miles from here.

I have to dig him up and send him home.”

 

Charles Dupont – A Drake [Lord], snooty, purple-scaled. He has a sword and a few minor magical artifacts.

“Relc’s bounty time! This dude’s no ordinary bandit! He’s actually a renegade lord on the run for killing his wife and the Drake she was sleeping with behind his back! Sort of an old story, but the angry relatives have put a reward on his tail that anyone can claim, even if they’re a [Guardsman]! I’m gonna take him in alive. I mean, I sort of feel for him, but I could earn thousands of gold coins for getting him! He might have a few magical artifacts like a ring that can make his sword electric, but that’s not going to save him from any the [Bounty Hunters] that are going to go after him.”

 

Giom – Recording a verified tale twenty years old.

“He was a Cyclops. And yet, he was also a [Warrior]. On Baleros, he fought with a prominent Company for over fifteen years before he fell in battle. I heard the legend second-hand from someone who talked to a [Mercenary] who’d served with him. Apparently, the Cyclops could take down even the strongest armored warrior with a single swing of his massive sword, and his hide could withstand even stones launched by a catapult! When he fell, they buried him with full honors.”

 

Inkwell Inspyre – Behold! I looked up and the skies parted! It was probably just the breeze.

“I met a [Bookbinder] today! I didn’t even know that was a thing! But it does, and get this—he restores books! That’s sort of obvious I guess, but I didn’t know people did that! He can take even the most run-down, ripped book and with his Skills make it as good as new! Apparently Wistram pays people like him a TON of money to maintain their books, but he likes to wander from village to city making money at his own pace. I didn’t have any books for him to fix, but we had a fun chat and I taught him to play chess! He’s really smart since, y’know, he works with books so much.”

 

 

Ben Christophersen – Ah, a peaceful d—

“HE WAS NAKED. This naked Drake dude just ran past my window! I nearly dropped the ink pot on the page! He was so…the scales covered NOTHING! Relc was running after him, shouting that he was going to arrest him for public indecency. But…he didn’t really want to catch the guy, I could tell. I need to—um. I saw everything.”

 

Vincent Diena – Not a delivery. Writing about another Runner I met on the road.

“He seemed more competent than most. By that I mean that while he had no special Skills when it came to Running, he had a magical item that allowed him to escape trouble. Case in point. I met him fleeing from a band it attack. He was blowing a horn that made their horses bolt for the hills, and he had a sling which made all the stones he hurled glow insanely bright, effectively blinding the people shooting arrows at him. He told me he’s a veteran—been running for over eight years. I believe it. He might not be a Courier, but he’s definitely one of the best City Runners.”

 

Phreak_91, Elijah Kolesar, Valters – An urgent [Message] spell from one of the Walled Cities. Sent to both Drake AND Human cities.

“The message reads as follows. ‘Strike these three from the ledger of [Guardsmen] in every city. They are no longer keepers of the peace; they never were. Put out bounties for their heads, a hundred gold on each. I do not know what class they have obtained, but what they did was a thing of nightmares. Kill them. Let them not live if you see their tales.’ I don’t understand exactly what it means, but I can only imagine they committed some atrocity. I will distribute their descriptions to all the Watch and keep an eye out. I’ve heard rumors…what dark class could they have obtained? And how…?”

 

Thurston Chandler – Encounter on the road while doing a delivery.

“I met a man with a bag full of rotting meat. That’s how I’m going to describe it. The smell was…atrocious. He didn’t seem to mind; he’s a [Survivor], a class that comes out of…surviving. Usually the byproduct of a calamity, natural disaster, monster attack, bandit raid and so on. Apparently, he liked the class so he decided to wander around using its Skills. Among his abilities that let him evade danger and fight with surprising skill is the Skill that lets him eat rotten meat. Damn it, I get that it’s useful, but I nearly threw up five times while talking with him. Survive at all costs, huh? Is it worth it?”

           

Aidan Holland – Recounting a tale very popular among everyone who likes the gamble in inns and taverns.

“Apparently, the [Gambler] class is actually pretty hard to level up. Most people I’ve met who dice or play cards in taverns don’t have more than a few levels. Which fits because they’re not gambling for a living, just fun. But this man was a famous risk-taker, but he had the Skills and frankly, luck to survive everything that came his way. The rumor is that his Skills provided luck; he would always draw the perfect hand at the right moment, get a bit of help when his back is against the wall. He even survived a freak meteor falling from the sky! It missed him by inches and took the hand off of the person holding him up at knifepoint. It sounds almost too good to be true, but that’s probably why people love telling his story when they’ve got nothing in their hand. It’s a good tell and I win a lot of money off of them.”

 

Not Specified – On a non-specific day that I can’t talk about.

“I can’t tell you her name because…he…made me promise. I can’t tell you what they did or what they look like—aw, can I write a bit? Okay? Yes! Alright, they have a tattoo of a dragon in one eye, three knees, a flying—aw. I can’t write any more. Sorry.”

 

Matt Hilbert – A Drake. I know what he looks like.

“Relc. Memory’s a funny thing, isn’t it? I remember when I served with this idiot on the frontlines, back when we were low-level Soldiers. We both made Sergeant around the same time…even when I left I thought he’d be a [Soldier] until the day I died. But now he’s gone rogue; killed his commander and fled north. If I see him…damn it you idiot. Why’d you have to do that? Don’t come this way.”

 

Joseph Dye – Level 20 [Dyemaster], Level 10 [Thief]. Drake.

“I’ve actually heard of this guy! He had a bounty on his head once—he’s a professional thief! But he has an odd class; he specializes in dying, using colored paints. Most people with that class just make clothing or art, but he used it with his [Thief] class to camouflage himself and pull off daring thefts! He’s reformed or so he claims, and he wants to be an adventurer. He might not have high combat abilities, but I’m sure he’d be a great scout so long as the monsters don’t have a keen sense of smell. Why not?”

 

Elliot Bonneville – Level 33 [Duelist], Level 11 [Assassin]. Human.

“Part of my job as a [Receptionist] in the Guild is measuring potential adventurers. I usually only turn people down if they’re unprepared, have a horrible attitude, or are simply too weak to make the cut. But sometimes I have to make a judgment call, and I had to turn him down. I know this Human—he was known as the Gentleman Assassin because he would challenge his marks to a duel in the open rather than use poison or a sneak attack. He told me he wanted to be an adventurer, but I can’t allow it. He’s killed more than a few adventurers over the years, and there would be too much bad blood. A shame; he’s well spoken, polite, and precise. He’d be an asset, but it’s just too troublesome.”

 

CyclopsSlayer – A tall tale or truth? It sounds like a rumor, but…

“Apparently, this Drake never slew a Cyclops. He just called himself that because he was one of the most accomplished [Liars] in the world when he was alive. I’m told he reached a high variant class—I’m pretty sure [Liar] isn’t even a class, but I’ve never heard of someone who just makes up things for a living. But he managed to not only con countless people out of their valuables, and even start two wars! Eventually all the lies caught up to him, and he was torn to shreds by an ex-lover. Literally torn to shreds. Don’t lie to Gnolls.”

           

Hanjing Cao – Weather? Who cares? Today was a stinky-bad day.

“This…guy came into my inn. At first I thought he was a rich traveller. He threw around money and paid in GOLD for a meal! I was so happy I served him course after course…he stayed the night, drank the best alcohol I had—I even went out to buy more! He left the next day with a huge tip. But only after he left did I find out that all the coin he gave me was actually fake! It was just lead painted to look like gold! If I ever see him again I’m gonna beat him to DEATH with a frying pan!”

 

Angela Acker – Forecast today: light showers! By request!

“Today I met a [Weatherwoman]! Okay, I know that’s not her class, but she’s a [Mage] that specializes in weather magic! She can call rain! I noticed her while walking because she was making it rain over a farm. It was so cool! She told me that she can do localized showers, but not change the entire weather over a huge area like the Frost Faeries can. I asked her for some rain—just for fun—and she did it! I danced about in the rain with her and gave her a hot meal and a warm bed afterwards. It’s nice to have a rainy day sometimes, y’know?”

           

Dr Pepper – I’m sneezing! AGAIN! What’s causing—oh.

“Turns out that Liscor is regularly visited by a [Doctor]! Dr. Pepper! Okay, it’s a bad joke, but he is an expert in all things pepper-related. True, he doesn’t have a [Pepper Master] class or something, but he’s got a collection of over seventy peppers he carries with him at all times! I bought a ton of them from him and made some delicious dishes! He was a nice guy, but I’m sort of glad he left without staying the night. I couldn’t stop sneezing when he was around!”

           

Clara Scherer – She’s just a normal-looking Human, I guess. Red hair? Freckles? What are freckles?

“Relc here, with another spine-scratcher. This time I’ve got a fifty-gold bounty on a Level 6 [Warrior]. Yeah, you read that right. She’s only 16 years old too—she’s this really young Human girl! But apparently she managed to kill this Silver-rank adventurer. Who knows if it was self-defence? Anyways, she ran for it and they only found his body with several cuts that went right through his armor. How? Maybe she has a magic weapon or something. Anyways, the reward is only for her alive so I guess I’ll find out. Still, Level 6…”

           

Ethan Tarr/Rob North – I am just a poor girl and my story’s seldom told..

“I think I just witnessed history today. Okay, I was sitting in my inn like normal when this Drake and Gnoll walked in. That’s normal too, but they had musical instruments in their hands! It was sort of like a guitar, only made for a Gnoll and Drake’s hands. Apparently, they’re both guys that grew up in Liscor and they love music! They’re both low-level [Musicians], and they want to make a living playing music. Trouble is, most taverns and inns want a good musician or performer that can pull in the crowds and they’re not that high-level. Plus, they only know a few boring songs. But I got to thinking, and it turns out that with a bit of work, we can recreate classics! I taught them some Simon and Garfunkle songs, and before I knew it…they left last night, and I think they’ll do just fine.”

 

Binh Vu – Level 11 [Monk], Gnoll.

“Another odd class! He’s a local, but he took this class by forswearing wealth and meditating all day. I dunno—it sounds almost like a [Cleric], which would be ridiculous! But apparently he can’t call on special powers, and he only came into the guild to ask if a group of adventurers would slay a group of Crelers that have infested a hill where he lives. He should have been ripped to shreds by those horrible things, but one of his Skills allowed him to walk away without attracting the Creler’s attention! So useful. I’ve sent three Silver-rank teams to help him out; the bounty on the Crelers should pay for itself.”

 

Caleb Pelethite – Not a delivery; an unusual Runner I’ve met and worked with.

“He’s a City Runner, but he doesn’t run. Rather, he rides a horse. It’s unconventional to say the least, but hell, that’s how messengers in our world used to travel. He’s got Skills that allow his mount to outpace any normal City Runner including me, but his weakness is that his mount needs frequent rest and care. As of such, he usually only takes direct-route deliveries from city to city that need to be completed quickly. I’ll give him this; he’s twice as dangerous since his horse will bite and kick too if he’s attacked.”

           

Adam Mellecke – A sparrow got eaten by a dino bird. Then the dino bird got caught by a Rock Crab as it flew past. And the Rock Crab went to sleep.

“I met a [Toymaker] today! A lot of my guests are wanderers, but he was only passing through to visit his family down south. He was adopted by Drakes, see; he’s Human, but he does Drakeish things if that makes sense. Like he’s always complaining about his scales rather than his skin, and he things tails are sexy. Anyways, he makes toys and games for kids! That’s really cool—I bought a spinning top and a little wooden puzzle off him I think Mrsha will love!”

 

Alec Bloomer – Five bouquets of orange flowers.

“I thought this client’s name was all too apt when I got the delivery request. In fact, I just assumed he changed his name because he was a [Florist] or something. I should have known he did it to throw suspicion off him. The ‘flowers’ I delivered weren’t flowers at all! In the center of each bouquet was a hidden dagger, and some of the bulbs had sealed pouches of poison on them. How do I know all this? My client held me up at knifepoint while three other guys in masks collected the hidden weaponry and disappeared. He warned me not to ask question and left as well. Damn bastard didn’t even pay me.”

 

Callum Melly – Scarred Human female; wears a hat and uses a small hand crossbow. Good shot?

“Ooh, she’s got style. This famous [Outlaw] comes from Chandrar; she’s known for her ability to accurately shoot people and wound but not kill them in duels! She’s so quick that most people can’t even unsheathe their weapons or cast a spell before her crossbow gets them. I think that’s cool, and I’m totally going to catch her after I beat her in a duel! I wonder where I can get a crossbow? Didn’t that stupid small Goblin have one?”

 

Taylor – I saw a rainbow today. In the grass. It was very wet.

“Sometimes I just…miss home, okay? When this person walked in and I asked their name I just thought about songs from home. So I started singing a bunch of Taylor Swift songs! Bad Blood, Blank Space…by the time I was on my fourth song they started singing along! Anyways, I taught them a bunch of songs before they left. Klbkch says he didn’t like any of the songs, but what does he know?”

           

Brendan Goss – Interesting anecdote about an adventurer about five years old. Subject might still be alive.

“Do I get paid for researching smaller tales like these? Ah well, I’ll record this one anyways. This adventurer managed to slay a rather fearsome monster nicknamed Fortress Snapper—it was a carnivorous turtle—while he was at sea. I know turtles don’t sound that scary, but this one was apparently so tough that its shell could deflect even [Fireball] spells without harm! The adventurer paid a small fortune to turn the shell into a shield and armor for himself. Again, he might still be living, and if he is, I’d love to ask him where I can find more turtles like that. Aside from magical armor, his sounds like it would be far superior to even plate mail.”

 

Keevin Funderburg – Do you believe a man can fly? What about a Gnoll?

“He can fly! Okay, not FLY, but jump really, really high! He’s a—are you ready for this?—an [Acrobat]! A former [Acrobat], actually…now he’s an adventurer with a [Archer] class. But the [Acrobat] bit is the most important part! You see, one of his Skills lets him jump so high he can get from the ground to the roof of my inn in one go! He says it’s really fun to jump around and he can shoot while jumping which is so cool. I want that Skill!”

 

CoolMusette – Level 8 [Mage]. Human.

“Okay, see, this is why you can’t choose your name ahead of time! This young woman told me she wanted to be known as a famous ice mage, but…she barely knows any ice spells! She also, frankly, seems way too overconfident to me. She still passed as a Bronze-rank adventurer, but I don’t know if I can trust her not to get eaten by a rat on her first mission. Newbies. Ugh! I hate babysitting them.”

 

Galen Hussey/Scott Carlson – Detailing two potential troublemakers; members of the Adventurer’s Guild.

“These two adventurers have been arrested jointly for causing trouble and disrupting the peace on four different occasions already. I gather that they are apparently rivals within the Guild—rather typically, they are respectively a Gnoll and a Drake. One is a [Swordsman] of some ability; the other is a [Spellsword]. Both are Silver-ranked and they’re considered a credit to the Guild. When they’re on the field. Whenever they meet in the city however, they engage in arguments, duels, and occasionally running battles that cause countless gold coins’ worth of damage. If they cause one more incident, I’m banning them from the city!”

 

Egrambo – WHO CARES WHAT THE WEATHER WAS LIKE?

“I met a tiny person today! I don’t mean a small person or…a Hobbit. Or a halfling! I met a, uh…a…Fraerling? I think that’s how you write it. Anyways, he was so tiny and cute! He just walked in because I couldn’t hear him knock—and he was only a bit bigger than my hand! so CUTE! He kept telling me not to belittle him, but then I fed him some fried fish and he looked so adorable when he ate it! He got really angry then and told me he was a Gold-rank adventurer. But I just wanted to pet his head! He punched me in the nose when I did that.”

 

Brandon Becker – Whenever I close my eyes, I can see two creepy eyeballs staring at me. I’m sure it’s nothing…?

I met a man wearing a mask today. I asked him to take it off and my request he did deny. I asked him why; he made no reply. He asked me for acid carried by flies. I told him it wasn’t a weapon; he only smiled and said ‘goodbye’. So yeah, he was weird.”

 

Ask/Strigiform/Caprine – I saw a butterfly turn back into a caterpillar! I was gross!

“WORST GUESTS EVER. I was visited by three [Food Critics], a Drake, a Human, and a Gnoll who go around to inns and restaurants and judge the cooking! They came in and told me to make them my best meals. When I did…they COMPLAINED! The Human told me my soup tasted like I’d boiled cabbage in a helmet, the Gnoll told me that if he used his fur as a seasoning it would make the stir fry taste better, and the Drake said he’d rather chop his own tail off and grill it rather than eat my cooking! I got so mad I kicked them all out of my inn and threw stuff at them until they ran away. They’re…banned for life.”

 

Paul Millsted – Centipede for head? Monster-guy.

“Relc will kill bad guy

His insect head bites too much

Must stab until die!”

 

 

Endern – Some kind of custom-made spell sealed in a scroll.

“Today’s delivery was a mission of mercy. I was carrying a specifically tailored spell designed to dispel an effect on an adventurer. Get this: he had bark for skin. You know, like the spell? Turns out it was cast wrong, and while he did gain a tougher exterior, his skin started to flake off and he got rot and mushrooms growing on him after it rained. Once he used the spell his skin went back to normal. Remind me never to let anyone cast that spell on me…”

 

Villads Bjorn – CABBAGE RAIN!

“Oh my god. My inn’s under attack! This morning I opened my door and someone launched a cabbage at it! With a trebuchet! Apparently there’s some crazy mage living out in the wild that specializes in plant magic! He’s probably got the [Gardener] class too—anyways, he sometimes attacks cities with cabbages! He loads these huge, ten feet tall ones and lobs them at cities! He can take out buildings with them! I hid in my inn while the guardsmen on the walls returned fire. In the end he retreated when they burned his trebuchet with flaming arrows, but he shouted that he’ll be back! Now everything smells like burning cabbage…I think I’ll make coleslaw tonight.”

           

Carrie Hamilton – Level 2 [Knight]. Human.

“Is she real? Yes, she is. What do I do? Apparently, she’s the daughter of a [Lord] and she wanted to be knighted, so he gave her that class. But she’s so weak and young! I can’t make her an adventurer, even if she does have a good class like that! And she’s too important to just turn down…for now I’m having her train every day at the guild, and I’m making her sweep up and help tidy stuff up in the meantime. Who knows, maybe she’ll level up from training, or maybe she’ll come to her senses.”

           

Ani Ravi – She flew in like an angel…

“But it was actually just a hang glider. A hang glider! I didn’t even know people knew how to make them in this world! But apparently some Gnoll tribes live high up, and so she learned it from them! She’s a Drake, by the way. Anyways, she tells me that there’s unique classes you can get for flying, and so she can now fly like an eagle for over an hour before she has to land. I begged her to let me try, but she said I’d probably break it. I…well…that’s fair.”

           

Temperance – Flying eggs! I keep losing my grip on them by accident…

“A Golem! She’s a talking, thinking Golem! Made of iron! She says her name is Temperance and she was made over two hundred years ago! Her owner died and she just started wandering about. Now she’s mostly rust, but I gave her some cooking oil to help with that. WE talked for a while and I offered her a job here, but she says she’s having too much fun travelling. So cool. Hey, what happens to her if there’s a thunderstorm? Does that hurt?”

 

Stefan Geiger – Flying eggplant? Oh, no, it’s just a monster…

“Dude had a mohawk. And he was a Gnoll! That’s how you know he was cool. Anyways, he came in while Relc and Klbkch were drinking. I asked him about his hair and he told me he knows a really cool barber! He said he’d mention me to him. Anyways, he started talking about hair with me and Relc wanted to join in, but the Gnoll kept saying Relc couldn’t because he was bald! And it’s sort of true—Relc only has those spines on his head, not actual hair. Anyways, he kept insulting Relc and calling him ‘baldy’ until Relc got mad and punched his lights out. Poor mohawk Gnoll.”

 

Theibbster – It comes when you run out of doors to hide behind…

“That’s what Selys told me. There’s this…thing that’s a Drake urban legend. It wriggles and bounces and hides in the drains and on rooftops. It waits until people are asleep, and then it finds someone and…marks…them in their sleep. Then it eats a bit of them. Just a tiny bit. The person might wake up and not even realize they were hurt, until the next night. But then the Ibbster comes back and eats a bit more. And each night it eats more and more and if the person doesn’t hide or get away—it eventually eats all of them. DAMN IT SELYS, NOW I’M SCARED!”

           

Anime Eyeball Fetish – No…its so gross…

“Remember that thing I wrote about a while back? Where every time I closed my eyes I saw these floating eyeballs? Turns out I was being haunted by some kind of monster that tries to lay eggs in your eyes and then hatch out of—it’s so disgusting! My eyes were itching all day long yesterday, and I didn’t know what to do until I met Krshia and she told me what was wrong! I had to throw ground up hot peppers in my eyes! IN MY EYES! But it got rid of the monster! Take that, you horrible fiend! My eyeballs are safe from you!”

           

P – Silence. And then, as I reach for the salt, someone sneezes.

“I met an invisible man today. I thought he was Pisces, but he wasn’t a jerk. He knocked very politely on the door and introduced himself. He said a spell went wrong and that’s why he’s always invisible. He paid for food and ate a lot while he told me stories about his travels! He was really nice and I saw him off the next day. A nice guy, like I said. But…how do I know he’s gone? He could still be here. Watching me.”

 

Amelia Yu – A rain of white feathers?

“I met a…Beastkin today. I think she was a Beastkin. Are there bird Beastkin? Anyways, she had a lot of feathers, all of which were so lovely and white! Apparently she’s an albino, and she’s practically invisible in the snow. She hunts for a living, so she paid for her room and meal with some dead birds which I spice up and barbequed! I had a good time and she flew off the next day. I kept some of her feathers as a souvenir. Maybe I could make a pillow?”

 

Jason Hanna – Incident report; an adventurer who did his job too well?

“Today, Senior Guardsmen Relc and Klbkch heard a cry for help while on patrol. They found several citizens panicking as a swarm of the giant rats infesting the sewers came flooding out of a grate. They were summarily dispatched, but when the two investigated the reason for this attack, they found a vast pile of rat corpses down below. A single adventurer had slain over a hundred of the creatures, and the survivors had fled above. Said adventurer was only lightly reprimanded, and his services may be retained if the rats ever replenish their population.”

 

Connor Sweeney – The sky turned dark, but there were no clouds? An eclipse? No…I can’t find the sun.

“Aaah. I don’t…nooo. I don’t wanna! There’s a [Barber] outside my door. He says his last name is Sweeney and he wants to give me a haircut. I…no! He’s not a Human, he’s a Drake, but…no. No. I’ve barricaded the doors and windows and I’m hiding until he goes away.”

 

Richem – A small bauble; a hand-carved doll with a little ribbon attached to it.

“This delivery request came from an adventurer who couldn’t make it back to his home village in time. He hired me to bring the doll to his village and put it on a small grave behind his house. It’s a child’s grave, and next to it is a larger one; a woman’s. I don’t want to talk about this request. I’m going to go have a drink and sit alone for a while.”

           

Deven Tharp – Level 28 [Knifemaster]. Gnoll.

“An odd class. I don’t know many people who specialize in using knives besides [Thieves] and [Rogues]; they don’t have much reach and its hard to find people who specialize in that sort of weaponry for quality blades. I mean, kitchen knives are one thing, but combat knives? Regardless, when someone walks in with the Skills that let him cut through Rock Crab armor, you’ve got to respect that. The only problem is that this adventurer has poor dodging skills; I’ll need to pair him with someone skilled at defense or distraction or he’ll get torn to pieces by his first monster. Hm.”

 

Toby Sanan – Ew. A bunch of assorted bugs, still alive and separated into bags.

“I hate my job sometimes. But this [Angler] uses live bait and he needs specialized food for a lot of the things he catches. Apparently, the fish and other things he finds are highly sought-after by [Alchemists], [Mages], and so on. Mind you, it’s not always fun and games; he tells me that if he goes deep-sea fishing, he needs to hire people to protect him in the event that he pulls in something with teeth. God, is there ANY job that’s safe in this world?”

 

Simon Autenrieth – A [Golem Maker]? Nah. I don’t know the name, but this is the tale of a mage from hundreds of years ago.

“Golems are tricky business. Even in Wistram, they were considered rare and powerful creations, and no mage was specialized in creating them that I knew of. But Golems were more common in the past. Despite their cost and mana requirements, mages like this one created shock troops that fought like nightmares in armies. Unfortunately, people knew that the Golems were usually dependent on their creator’s mana supply and they sent killers to take this mage out. What they didn’t know is that his Golems would go berserk on his death and rampage throughout the enemy lines until they were destroyed or used up all their magic. A cautionary tale, I guess.”

 

Arctruth – Some Human with a face. Uses a longsword that’s probably magical…uh, fast.

“Why are all Humans so hard to find? I get bounties and wanted lists all the time, but do they ever include a drawing or mage picture? Nooooo. At least this guy (is it a guy?) is easy to identify. He’s a [Dashing Swordsman], by which I mean he runs around and stabs people before running away. I mean, I guess that’s how [Bandits] work, but he’s better than most and too fast for many to catch, which is why I was notified. Because, y’know, I’m fast too.”

 

Hiu Gregg

“”

 

Lime – Delivery. An enchanted…lime.

“Who MADE this thing? I just had to hand-deliver a talking…lime. Across fifty miles of snowy terrain, mind you. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem since the lime was the size of a lime, but did I mention it talks? It insulted me the entire time I was running, making comments about my weight, appearance, running form, until I just wanted to eat the damn thing. I have no idea what it’s going to be used for, but hopefully it’ll wind up in the hands of some enterprising [Chef].”

 

John Roetzer – A day full of sparkles. Like, sparkles of some kind of evaporating dust in that fell like rain. Did someone kill a vampire?

“Today I met the inventor of pretzels. I think he’s the inventor because no one else makes pretzels that I’ve met. He’s a Gnoll! And he was operating his booth in Celum and selling salted pretzels that tastes really, really good! They’re so fresh and he has hard ones, doughy ones…and they’re delicious! Did I already say that? He was selling them with a meat sauce, but when I suggested cheese and ketchup he was totally blown away! I hope he does well. This world needs good pretzels.

 

Nils Stellmacher – Flying chess pieces! Mrsha thinks overturning chess boards is funny. Bad Mrsha!

“This is, um, Lyonette. I thought I should write this here. Erin’s still gone but Olesm came by to play chess. But another [Strategist] was with him! Apparently he came all this way to visit Olesm–not too far; they’re both Drakes. Anyways…they played a lot of games. Mrsha kept getting in the way, but it looked very intense. They ate and drank a lot too, so that was good. Just…writing this down. Because I think I’m supposed to?”

 

Corella – There’s a huge bird on the roof of the inn. I closed the doors and all the windows. I think it might try to grab Mrsha if she goes out.

“Lyonette. Again. Uh, today I met a [Painter]. She’s, well, a wandering [Painter]. Yeah. She goes around finding ingredients to make paint or dyes and paints…stuff. Houses, a lot of the time. But she can do art, too. She offered to paint the inn but I didn’t want to do that without Erin’s permission. But she says that she can also do magical paintings, to ward away monsters or make the inn less visible. Very interesting. Oh, and she’s a Human. Did I do this entry right?”

Tom Thomas

“”

Bryce Karsten

“”

NoklusMaximus

“”

Phanna Phurisat – Lots of Gnoll fur in my face when I woke up. I think Mrsha’s shedding.

“Lyon. Today Mrsha came back with another Gnoll. A [Thief]. I didn’t know she was a thief at first, I thought Mrsha had made a friend. The other Gnoll was pretty young too, but she kept prowling around and I had a bad feeling so I watched her. I saw her grab all the coin and run off right as I was serving lunch! She would have gotten away if Pawn and all the Soldiers hadn’t come by. Turns out she’s a child [Thief] who roams around. He said he’ll turn her over to Zevarra. I hope she isn’t punished too hard. But [Thieves]…get what they deserve.”

Pedro Silva

“”

Jana Becker –

“”

Mattias Riemenschneider

“”

Spike the Younger

“”

Jan Kramer

“”

David Martin

“”

Alex Selkirk

“”

Henri Hartikainen

“”

Richem

“”

Quatico Lakerunner – Not a delivery. Rumor of a Drake Courier that works in the south part of the continent.

“Oh gee, I wonder what this Drake is known for? What makes them special? Really, the name says everything. And if I’m sarcastic, it’s only because being able to run on water doesn’t seem possible no matter how fast you are. I guess some Skills just ignore the laws of physics. Anyways, the ability to run on water is very useful for escaping pursuers, creating shortcuts, and so on, but apparently this Drake has to watch out for aquatic monsters on the job, which sounds almost as bad as dodging Wyverns. Couriers have a tough job.”

Conor Donahua

“”

Toby Williamson

“”

Greg Crawford

“”

David Long

“”

Robert Lavery

“”

Awful Accident

“”

Connor Jacobs

“”

Patrick deNiverville

“”

Henrik Koskinen

“”

Oli-obk

“”

Dan L.

“”

Ksharp

“”

Tristan Rocheleau

“”

Daniel Preston

“”

Chris

“”

Andrey

“”

Jason Roper

“”

Eric Bertone

“”

John Ryall

“”

Nikrowd

“”

Olli Tuovinen

“”

Tom Ado

“”

Johann Schor

“”

 

Samuli Suhonen

“”

 

Torbjørn Haugstad

“”

 

Meshari Alzaid

“”

 

Clifford Hong

“”

 

Ask

“”

 

Alkahest

“”

 

Asfar

“”

 

Sutti Lee

“”

 

Moral Support

“”

 

Carlos

“”

 

Brendan Shanahan

“”

 

Omar Crooke

“”

 

Nicholas Apperloo

“”

 

Jamain

“”

 

Håvard Tveiterås Meistad

“”

 

Newq

“”

 

Victor Garcia

“”

 

Raylu

“”

 

John Galt

“”

 

Elling Thorsen Lagesen

“”

 

Potimas

“”

 

Viktor Nilsson

“”

 

Azuremia

“”

 

Paul Hartman

“”

 

Sean Coker

“”

 

Oblivious Sage – An all points alert I will send to nearby Drake Cities.

“To the Watch Captains: someone get an [Archer] out and kill this Human before he causes more havoc! I think he’s a [Sage] based on his name–it’s some kind of esoteric [Mage] class. And he’s not just oblivious, he’s dangerous. He’ll cast a [Rainfall] spell because he wants to take a shower and nearly flood a village because he forgets to dispell it! Not to mention some of his spells have massive range. He’s powerful and maybe useful if he could use his powers for good, but I have a gaping hole in the walls of the city that says otherwise. He can blast through the enchantments on a city wall. Take him out fast!”

 

John Koor

“”

 

Tildor

“”

 

Ram Nevet

“”

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14 thoughts on “Guestbook

  1. If it’s not too clear, this is a list of people who have donated to me on Patreon! Thanks to everyone listed, and if you want me to change your name or find a description annoying, message me on Patreon and I’ll amend the list. Thanks so much for donating!

    PS: I could do Paypal, but that is a bit more private since that involves actual names and a banking site. Just know that I appreciate you too, but I don’t want to jeopardize anything confidential.

    • Idk where I should put typoes so here they are

      Turns out they taste great when friend properly, and their pelts are so warm…”

      “friend” should be “fried”

       Definitely a useful addition to any team; people area already approaching her as I write!”

      “area” should be “are”

    • Like he’s always complaining about his scales rather than his skin, and he things tails are sexy.

      “things” —> “thinks”

  2. Fun! Like eating a bag of M&M’s (only they’re, you know, stories!).

    A couple typos:

    ‘latter’ –> letter
    ‘butter spell’ –> butter smell

    Glad I have a horse. I wanna get a class that lets it use something like Double Step when I ride. I better get practicing.

    ~R

  3. Not that I’m complaining per se, but I seem to be on the list twice, once as Tonberry and once as Thomas Dixon (I did change my name on patreon so that’s probably got something to do with it)

  4. I love it, my piece is Ber-tiful. Not sure about being taken down by a single Gobbo, but truth be told, that’s probably the most realistic part of the whole thing.

  5. Typo:
    “One gold coin for swift transport fifteen miles”
    A word seems to be missing between “transport” and “fifteen miles”
    Perhaps “of” (not sure)

  6. Typo
    By himself! Turns out they taste great when friend properly, and their pelts are so warm…”
    Do you mean “fried proberly”?

  7. “Even in Wistram, they were considered rare and powerful creations, and no mage was specialized in creating them that I knew of.”

    But “Golem creation” is being taught in Wistram in the 6th year, sometimes even in the 2nd if one is good enough.
    If it’s one the offical curriculum, then it doesn’t seem to be anything rare.

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