Personal guestbook of Erin Solstice. Pisces, if you’re reading this, STOP!


Melsa Hvarei – Maybe it was a Tuesday?

Came in, ordered a bowl of acid flies, and ran away when she found out what it was. I feel bad, but she tried to pay me in cats anyways. Weird.”

Dario – Heavy rainfall on a Friday.

“I tried making french fries, and ended up setting fire to the kitchen.. He wasn’t too interested in potatoes a la flambé, but he did like the blue fruit juice! But he uh, paid with dollars. Now what am I supposed to do with those?”

Vincent Cheung – Giant fiery eye in the sky watching me.

“A very nice guy! Came in, ordered soup, and left WITHOUT trying to kill me with a knife. 10/10, would serve again.”

Geraint Williams – Sunny day, blue skies, dog poo on the ground.

“Flirting with the innkeeper does not mean I tip you. In fact, you should tip me more. Anyways, he had to go when the Goblins had a farting contest outside. Ugh.”

Joshua John Wallace – Midnight, overcast skies.

“A mysterious visitor came by wearing a fur coat, wearing dark boots and a pink scarf. He had two daggers in his boots, a sword at his side, and an axe buried in his back. I got it out for him.”

Trepe Hilkad – Knee deep in water on a Wednesday. Figures.

“He had bunny ears! He hopped in, pretended to be a rabbit, and then aimed a crossbow at me and stole all my money! Relc got him before he ran too far, though. Evil bunny guy.”

Diana Probst – Toad rain, dark skies.

“She did a watercolor of my face! It was nice! But um, she tried to draw Rags and ended up getting bitten. I feel bad, but there wasn’t too much blood.”

B. Gazzola – Too much sunlight! Monday.

“He was clearly insane, because despite being human he ordered a bowl full of acid flies and ate it. And then he drank some acid and left! Very nice person otherwise, though.”

Oliver Guillemente – Flying pancakes in the wind.

“He lost five games of chess to me before he pulled out the board of checkers. He won once; and then Rags beat him 16-2. I felt bad, but that’s what you get when you play checkers.”

Adam Rosen – An ominous feeling on the back of my neck on a Tuesday afternoon.

“Entered the inn and stepped on a nail. I was roofing. After I used the healing potion he had a plate of sausages and left. I uh, may have charged him for the healing potion too.”

Richard Cunningham – All the grass around the in got up and walked away.

“I just opened for the day when he ran by! He only stopped to pay for a mystery meat sandwich when he ran off. He was being chased…by DUCKS. Evil ones with no eyes.”

Nathan S. McCollum – The kind of day when it rains.

“I was having a bad day and he came by. Why? Some people just know when to share a smile. Come again on a rainy day whenever you like, friend.”

Carsten Bak Larsen – Forecast: blowing winds and flying Goblins.

“The Goblin slayer! With one hand he smacks Goblins for stealing his food, with the other he beats Rags in a game of chess! And then he nearly gets eaten when she unleashes the tribe on him! Rags is a bad sport.”

N.A. – I stepped in something on the streets in Liscor. Don’t want to know.

“I met…someone (or was it something?) in Liscor. It followed me back and sat at my table for an hour before I noticed it. It ate nothing, said nothing, and paid me in nothing. It might still be there. I keep checking over my shoulder in the middle of the night.”


Hey, I’m borrowing this to write down some of my deliveries.



Rikku Hime – Delivered a giant potato growing a bunch of leaves to a house out in the countryside.

“This job gave me a bad feeling from the start. The package was…moving when I got it, and I had the feeling it was alive somehow. I was tempted to bake the damn thing in a fire, but I got the job done. 21 silver coins, paid for at the Guild.”

Matias Andreasen – The job was to deliver a red letter, stamped with purple wax that had small silver shavings embedded into the seal.

“This seemed like some kind of important message. One gold coin for swift transport fifteen miles? I met a men sitting in a burnt-out wagon and delivered the letter. He was armed with a dagger his belt and a crossbow hidden behind him. Not sure if he survived to read the letter; several hooded figures approached as I left.”

Adrian™ – A potion of some kind. Blue, glowing. Nondescript. Could just be a normal mana/healing potion. Not sure.

“Fifteen coppers for a potion delivery? Seems normal, but why send it in bulk? I delivered this one separate from a shipment of mana potions and the [Alchemist] at the counter said she’d hold it for the client. In short, not too important but–why did it smell like strawberries?”

Tom Braider – A keyblade, I swear to god.

“I had to deliver a giant…key to some guy in a forest. It was heavy enough that I had to strap it to my back to run it there. Why the hell would anyone need a key that large? It was rusted and old, and I never saw the man behind the mask. The other two people with him looked like adventurers. Was this the beginning of some kind of dungeon dive?”

Chris Weekes II – A severed head.

“Well. I know what happened after the business with the red letter. I don’t think the guild was aware of what was in the box they sent me with. Must have been some magic on it too, because I didn’t smell the severed head until this guy opened the box. Bandit leader. I was lucky to escape with my life. Consider this guy blacklisted.”


Stop that!



Flagellate –  Relc started a fight in the city today. Nearly hit me! I got so mad I threw a rock at him and nearly hit Krshia.

“Finally, some good business! I sold fifteen acid bottles to a guy who said he knew exactly how to use them! Hurrah! On an unrelated note, it sounds like there’s a serial killer who’s wandering around Liscor. Scary, huh?”

Postmodestie – Rainbows after a storm! It was so cool, and I saw a green guy running around with a pot over his head! (I made that last part up.)

“He wanted Toren soup. And by Toren soup, I mean that he wanted me to boil one of Toren’s bones and serve it to him. I was almost tempted, but fifteen gold pieces is too much for a skeleton, even a tiny bit of one. Right?”

Sheila Thoma – THE BEES! Actually, now that I think of it, they were probably wasps. EVIL WASPS!

“She asked me if I could make a meal of flowers for her. So I did. I gathered a bunch of flowers and made a salad out of them with some tossed grass and water for a drink! She said the arrangement looked terrible and left. How rude! The salad didn’t taste half bad!”

Andrew – Some kind of magical sword? It had glowing blue runes.

“Straightforward delivery, or it should have been. I was delivering a magical sword to an adventurer from a blacksmith, but Persua tried to mess with my delivery. We both nearly got eaten by the slime-spitting thing with four eyes that came out of the cave. The sword is magical, though. Too bad it doesn’t wash itself.”

Øyvind Birknes Langhelle – The eye of a tiger? Something around that size, anyways.

“Seems like a lot of [Alchemists] need ingredients. This guy was making some sort of potion. Not sure what it was; he never got through the brewing process. Fun fact: potions don’t always explode. Sometimes they emit a cloud of black smoke that freezes everything it touches. Note: don’t go to Remendia for a few days.”

Cameron McAvoy – The brightest Sunday I’ve ever seen. I may be blind.

“A rampaging cow (don’t ask) destroyed all my tables and chairs. But he came by and we sat and ate together on the grass. A picnic from home. It made me happy and miss home.”

Edward Lucas – One of the hottest days I’ve seen so far! It was so hot that all the Goblins just lay in the grass and refused to move!

“He came into my inn really thirsty. So he asked for a glass of water. I gave it to him on the house. So he asked for another. And another. And another. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD DIE FROM WATER POISONING! What am I supposed to do with the body!?”

Andrew WeissA dead body.

“I was delivering a dead body to someone who could dispose of it, but it turned out he wasn’t really dead. The guy I was delivering it to was really unhappy as well. He kept asking where he was supposed to get his teeth from now. I didn’t ask what he needed the teeth for.”

Aaron Martinez – Dancing day! Everyone dance and be happy! Except Ryoka, because she’s no fun.

“He can dance! We had a dance party outside the inn, all of us! Toren, the Goblins, and even Relc and Klbkch! The only person who didn’t dance was Ryoka, because she’s not cool. This guy was, though! He can also do the limbo really well!”

Caby – Snow falling from the sky! It’d be nice if it weren’t yellow snow. I’m staying inside.

“He was the first person to visit my newly build inn! Isn’t that great? Turns out the Workers did such a good job building the inn, the front door is now really thick. So thick…I didn’t hear him knocking until he nearly froze to death in the snow outside. Oops. But the first bowl of soup was on the house!”

J Rose – Snow, snow, and more snow. I couldn’t open the doors.

“She came in through the windows, just in time for a mug of hot…water. I want chocolate! But noooooo…apparently that’s expensive. But she had some jerky and we had that instead! She said she made it herself (after killing a fox), and I wasn’t sure if I should pay her afterwards.”

Kristoffer Wathne – A magic ring. Instructions were to keep well away from my person.

“I’m still being investigated by the local law enforcement in Celum about this one. The sender was unnamed, but when he put the ring on his finger, he disappeared and reappeared…five hundred feet up. Why? He was just an innocent [Butcher]. Someone’s using Runners to kill people, and I want to know who. They pay was good, though.”

Nsixtyfour – A chessboard and pieces. Made of some kind of stone–not granite, but what?

“I earned two silver pieces for this one. Just a city-to-city delivery that I did along with a few others. Heavy pack; I think Garia’s more suited to this kind of job. But the client wanted to level in [Tactician], so he paid for the set. Too bad one of the pawns was missing. Not my fault, but I got a delivery to send the package back and throw it in the manufacturer’s face. Sounds like fun.”

Richard B – A red letter day! In that I keep getting red letter sent to me. Why are they all empty?

“A great chess player! He almost won some of our games, but I beat him in the end! It was so much fun I didn’t change him anything for food or a room. I would have played him again, but he had to go. Apparently there’s a war he’s fighting in as a [Tactician] advising a [General]. Good luck!”

Aaron Van Dessel – Bird poo landed on my head! On my head!

“He’s an adventurer who stopped by for a quick drink! He wasn’t happy when I told him there was no alcohol, but he was nice enough to help me fight off a wolf when it  tried to bite me! He’s uses a big sword, and nearly sliced the wolf in two! Poor wolf. Cool sword!”


Ooh, this is handy! Hey Erin, I need to write down all these new adventurers that keep coming into town. I’m going to use this, okay?



FrostFox – Level 24 [Cryomancer], Level 5 [Thief]. Human.

“Obviously an alias, but she’s known for clearing dens solo. She sneaks into the lairs, and then blasts everything with freezing spells. Not very elegant despite her name, but it gets the job done. I’ll have to make sure she never goes up against a monster strong against ice-magic, though.”

Abdulla Al-Kuwari – Level 11 [Warrior], Level 16 [Scout]. Gnoll.

“He’s an adventurer from one of the Walled Cities. Vegetarian, I think, which is odd for a Gnoll. But he can disappear like no one else in the tall grass, which makes him perfect for scouting lairs. I’m sure he’ll get a lot of work, but for now we’re trying to educate him about the dangers of Shield Spider nests. Those things kill more new adventurers than anything else.”

Patrick Sylvester-Jose – Level 22 [Hammerer]. Human.

“Odd class, but apparently it’s a variation of [Warrior]. He’s got a hammer, though. A sledgehammer, I think. Now that I think of it, he might be perfect for a team hunting Shield Spiders if he can crack their exoskeletons. Might lower the resale value, but I’ll see if anyone’s interested. Still probably going to die if he fights a Rock Crab, though.”

Benjamin Johnson – Level 4 [Archer], Level 15 [Mechanic]. String Person

“Now here’s an interesting problem for me. This guy’s got low levels in [Archer], but he doesn’t use a bow. Rather, he’s got a crossbow with a crank that he says allows him to fire faster. And he’s…built it into his arm? Just too weird for me, but apparently he comes recommended, so I guess he’ll be useful.”

Marcus Seigman – Level 8 [Mage]. Drake.

“One of our regulars. He’s not a very accomplished adventurer, but he does know one spell; [Sleep]. In his team, the Scarlet Scales, he’s quite valuable since he can put a monster to sleep while everyone readies for a simultaneous attack. Note for individual monster bounties as possible candidate.”

Parker Groseclose – Level 2 [Paladin], Level 22 [Knight]. Human.

“How odd. I had to look this one up to make sure he wasn’t lying, but [Paladin] is a class that has to be earned by being some kind of noble and a [Knight]? Hard for me to understand, but he’s strong! Lots of teams want him already; looks like he’ll be busy soon enough.”

Angry Pandey – Level 25 [Barbarian]. Human.

“He just grunts at me! I keep asking him his name, and the rest of his team told me that’s what he answers to. And he has fleas. I think. Well, it’s not a problem for me, but I want him deloused before he comes back! He also uses a club and he must have [Thick Skin] or he’ll be dead when the arrows start to fly. Anyways. Stinky!

ZivlanirLevel 44 [Mage]. Drake. Level 14 [Scoundrel]!

“I thought he seemed suspicious, but he had the robes and he said he was a Named Adventurer, so everyone wanted to join up with him. Well, he got an adventuring team wiped out when they went into the High Passes and he’s missing with all their gear. An 80 Gold bounty is on his head!”


SELYS! Not you too!



Sage Berthelsen – Five buckets of water poured on my head by stupid Goblins.

“He wasn’t a real sage, but he did have some sage on his belt! It was a joke, I think. He wasn’t a mage, but he showed me this really cool trick you can do with an egg and a small bottle! You can fit the egg in the bottle even though it won’t go through the opening at first and–it’s cooler when you see it, okay? I wonder what his job was?”

Paul Jackson – A black latter sealed with yellow wax. Smells of lavender.

“Another damn murder! This time the victim opened the letter and a poisonous cloud billowed out. I nearly inhaled it myself, but I jumped out a window just in time. Whoever’s doing this wants to kill all witnesses. But again, good pay. But why these people? This man was a baker. He gave loaves to hungry children.”

Joshua Willman – Fire raining from the skies! Black sludge underfoot! Oh wait, that was a dream.

“I really don’t know what to say. He knocked on my door around noon, ate a plate of spaghetti without meatballs, and left after paying. He was quiet, polite…and it turns out that he was a food critic! Hey! He wrote a piece on me in some fancy book and said my food was ‘standard’! That’s…true, but hey!”

Michael – Level 11 [Warrior]. Drake.

“A promising new Drake at our guild. He’s a bit too low-level for most requests, even the ones about killing rats, but a high-level team took him in. I think they want to train him up, or maybe they just need a shield? Either way, I hope he survives.”

Ricky Wu – Two frozen fish. They’re each nearly as long as I am.

“Had to ask Garia for help with this one. We were delivering a catch for this guy to his house. Apparently, he caught them in a pond and killed them. With a knife. Did I mention the dead fish have teeth that look like hooks? Nasty. I think fishing in this world is a lot more dangerous than in mine.”

Isaac Winter – Level 29 [Shieldwall]. Human.

“Odd type of fighter. There are variations on the name of the class he’s in, but he’s a purely-defensive fighter. He can hold off even a Rock Crab for nearly an hour, but he’s bad at attacking. I linked him up with a group of mages who could really use some defensive power.”

Simon – The smell of fried butter hangs in the air. Ugh. Some Gnolls were throwing up when I went into the city.

“Apparently, the fried butter spell was because of a battle between mages that took place fifty miles away. The smell is just drifting down here because of the wind. He says it smells worse where it took place, and he would know. He was the mage that won.”

Gunner R. – Level 22 [Marksman]. Human.

“Some people say archers aren’t too useful against armored enemies. Well, this adventurer uses enchanted arrows. They’re very expensive, but some burst into flames, and others melt even stone when the hit! Useful for any team, if they can stomach the cost. Might be an issue if he can’t find enough good bounties.”

Faded – Level 30 [Thief]. Drake.

“I didn’t even see him until he coughed! He’s got dark grey scales, and he’s a Gold-rank adventurer! He’s here to meet up with some friends, but if they’re anything like him, I’m not sure I’ll ever see him. He’s quiet and–hey! Where did my coin pouch go?”

Aki1red. – A flying tomato! I thought it was some kind of bird, but then it landed on the ground. Where did it come from?

“Weird name, huh? Almost reminds me…but this isn’t a username. It’s an designation used by a fighter group in one of the Drake armies down south. They go into hot spots and stealth their way behind the enemy and then stab them in the back with big knives. He told me all of this because I’d already be dead if I was an enemy so I’m no threat. Scary!”


Hey, is this a party or can anyone join? I’m writing down criminals here!



Nathan Body – Human. Blonde hair; always holding two daggers. Very dangerous.

“The Fiend of Reisville. If he gets near Liscor, the Captain’s going to lock down the gates. He can wipe out a village of people in an hour, and unless Klbkch or I fight him, more guardsmen are going to die. Need to spread word about him so he can be caught. But all humans look the same!

Fancylee – Drake with light yellow scales and two inches missing off of his tail.

“Not so fancy now, are you, punk? He’s a high-level [Pickpocket] – variation of [Thief] class – that I caught once. Well, nearly. I got part of his tail! Anyways, he’s fast enough to escape me in a crowd, but I’ll get him. Next time, punk. Next time.”

C Howard – A Drake with no tail. Very obvious. Approach with caution.

“He cut off his tail, because he thinks they make us weaker! He’s…insane, but he has a [Dancer] class and [Fighter] class, which makes up his [Sword Dancer] class–bastard must have picked it up in Chandrar. He cuts off the tails of any Drake he meets, and he’s far too dangerous for normal folk to fight. We’ve got to kill this guy fast.

Steven Meguie – Human with red hair and dots on his face. Freckles? Freckles.

“He’s a troublesome mage who casts [Stink] on anyone he doesn’t like. Entire cities have been emptied as people run for their lives! I need nose plugs. Or I could get Klb to arrest him. Can Ants smell? Either way, I don’t want to tangle with him.

Chris K – Gnoll with dark black fur and white tribal markings. Short?

“He’s some kind of outcast from his tribe. I think…it was a dispute over a lady? Either way, he killed his opponent which was bad, so he’s an outcast. Not dangerous to us, but Z. wants him under protection in case the rest of his tribe comes after him. What a pain.”

Coby Last – Human. Wears armor painted with blood or red paint.

“A deserter from one of the northern human armies. Scum. I’ll find him myself; anyone who abandons their fellow soldiers gets my spear in their gut! But it might be a problem, because he was part of their ambush squads. He can hide even in short grass, so I’ll have to wait until he shows his head.”

Zarquon – Scarred. Human. Missing two fingers on his left hand. Uses a sword-cane.

“Eh, he’s the ‘gentleman duelist’ or something. He robs travelers at sword-point and knocks them out if they fight back. Boring. I could take him in a fight! But he’s always evaded me whenever he’s in the area. And everyone else is too low-level to fight him. I’ll get him sooner or later, though!”

Nathan S. McCollum – Drake with no eyes.

“Another pain in my tail! He’s a master [Thief] who can steal the teeth right out of your face. Especially if he has a hammer. Somehow he can taste the air or something stupid like that, and it means he can sense where things are. And he knows when I’m coming, so I’ve never caught him. I need to get someone else to help me track him. Not Klbkch; the Antinium stink too much or something.”

Fabian – Human. Dressed horribly.

“Wanted for crime against fashion! Seriously. There’s a two hundred gold bounty on him for something he did involving a human female noble and clothing. Apparently she didn’t like it? Either way, he’s been dodging [Assassins] and [Bounty Hunters] for months. Not in my city, thanks. Also watch out; he apparently killed two people coming after him by strangling them with a scarf.”

William Tao – Gnoll. Tall, missing fur on left side of face and part of ear. Dark brown fur; almost black.

“He looks scary, but the worst he’s ever done is drink a barrel’s worth of ale and leave before paying his tab. That’s what he does. The innkeepers let him go because they don’t believe he can move, let alone run after that much. I’d warn Erin, but she doesn’t have anything good to drink so she’s fine.





Fortuno – A splinter in my TOE! IN MY TOE!

“I met a [Healer] today! Just in time too; I got a splinter stuck under my toenail! It hurt so much, but he got it out with these wooden tweezers and also managed to fix up that half-dead guy who came in with him. He had all sorts of potions and cool bottles of herbs and paste. Smelled bad, but it works!”

Dustin S. – The splinter in my toe really hurt, but I guess it was still a good day. Nice sun and all that.

“He wanted a drink, and when I said I didn’t have any alcohol he said he’d make it himself. He mixed something up and it fizzed…and nearly blew his face off. If it wasn’t for that [Healer], he probably would have died. Well, it caused a mess, but he gave me this cool potion of water that never stops burning! …I’m not sure if that was a good thing. How do I put it out!?”

Peter James Sand – A bottle of red sand. Flecks of…gold caught withing.

“I personally think it’s just some kind of stupid joke involving the client’s name. But I was paid a gold coin to deliver this bottle of sand. Actually, it turns out that’s not sand at all, but this world’s version of dynamite. The powder reacts to the air and sends the gold bits of sand flying. Damn it. Someone put a warning on these deliveries!”

Jeffery Chan – A spell book. Black bound cover; parchment gives me a horrible feeling when I touch it. Skin…?

“God. It was human skin. But this mage was an expert in dark magic, and he really wanted to learn the [Shadow Scythe] spell and other nasty tricks. I had to dodge three groups of adventurers trying to find the mage, but I got it to him in the end. He said this was a relic from long ago. I don’t want to even think about where the book came from, or how it was made. Some magics should stay buried.”

Mundane – Gnoll.

“He has no class! He’s just like Ryoka–he came to the guild to be an adventurer, but I’m not sure if I should let him. He can fight; he’s got a sword and he managed to beat a Bronze-rank adventurer when I tested him but…no classes or levels? He claims to have wiped out a bandit group by himself, and I can request confirmation, but…I just don’t know. Why?”

DasSchnitz – Some annoying Human! Wears a hood and dark clothing like an annoying [Assassin].

“Gaaah! This guy I’m going to catch! He’s so annoying! He doesn’t stab people or steal things, like a good criminal. Instead, he paints on the walls of buildings in cities, writing stuff like ‘resist the tyranny!’ and ‘fight the Man!’ or Drake. Or woman. He writes a lot of stuff, okay? And apparently he’s one of the ‘Resistance’. What resistance? Nobody told me about a resistance! What’s there to resist?”

Jason McPherson – Level 2 [Miner]. Human.

“Okay, what should I do with this one? He wants to be an adventurer, but…his level! All he has is a shovel and a pickaxe, but he says he can kill monsters. And he can. Sort of. He…dug a big hole and lured a Troll into it before covering the monster with dirt. That’s impressive, especially since he did it on his own but…really? I guess he can help clear the blocked tunnels in the sewers until he gets a higher level.”

Andrew Ng – Flaming oil explosion in the kitchen! Toren was cooking.

“I ran out of food when he arrived! And he was so hungry, too! But I had some sugar and a few blue fruits Toren found, so I made snow cones and served them to him until he got brain freeze. Um. It wasn’t my best moment, but at least he didn’t die. Yay?

David – Music from the rooftops! It sounds nicer than it was. Relc got an old trumpet and made terrible sounds until Klbkch got him to come down.

“He was from a marching band! He started yelling at Relc how much his music sucked until Relc got mad and jumped off the building. He’s fine, but he nearly broke his legs. Relc, I mean. I brought David back to my inn and fed him food, and he showed me how to march around the inn! Fun stuff! I wonder if I can teach the Goblins how to march?”

Carl – Up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane…it was a bird.

“It turns out some people have even worse luck than I do. One of those dino-birds dropped him out of the sky and onto my inn! I didn’t even think the birds got that big, but I’m just glad it didn’t stick around. He was okay, but he said that was the last time he tried to have scrambled eggs for breakfast. He’s a [Climber] and…yeah, I’m going to lay off eggs for a while.”

Silise – Purple hair; human. What more do you want from me?

“She’s wanted for being part of the Bloodfeast Raiders, a ruthless group that appears out of nowhere and destroys entire villages. A strong mage; apparently she doesn’t commit crimes until her gang assembles. And they’re all individuals who only meet up once a month. I’m going to find her, stab her, and get her to tell me where the others are!”

Lightning Breeze – Level 26 [Runner]. Level 11 [Fighter]. Drake.

“At last, here’s someone really promising! He’s a Runner who wanted to become an adventurer, and he has [Enhanced Movement] which is a great skill for all types of warriors–I know Runners often make the transition to adventuring successfully. I’ll give her a few easy assignments and hopefully he’ll make Silver-rank in a month or two!”

Tonberry – A human with flaxen (is that a color?) hair and a weird smile. Watch out for the knives.

“He’s not a bandit, or a murderer or a criminal who kills people…but he does sell kitchen knives. Yeah. Normally that’s not a problem, but they’re sharp, enchanted knives. One bandit group got a hold of a few and carved up a bunch of [Knights] in armor. We need to get this guy to stop selling the knives — or buy them all ourselves.

IceDemon – Level 16 [Warrior]. Human.

“Normally I wouldn’t look twice at a [Warrior] of this level; he’d be a fine Bronze-rank in any Guild, but this is a special case. He’s got an enchanted long sword that’s a heirloom of some kind; its blade is icy and it cuts with a really sharp edge! That alone makes me think of him as a Silver-rank adventurer, at least in offensive capability. I’ll try to toughen him up before I raise his ranking, though.”

Coyotte508 – Five bundles of steel arrows. Really frickin’ heavy.

“This one was another delivery I wish Garia would do. But the client lives too far from a city for her. He needs the arrows to shoot all the coyotes in the area. Ran into a pack of fifteen, and then a group nearing fifty as I got there. God. Some kind of spell’s gone wrong, and they’re wrecking the ecosystem. He’s killed over five hundred, hence the name, but there’s thousands out there…

Jacques Simpson – A roll of rich velvet.

“Aha! The strange murderer has been caught! The damn bastard tried to run, but the Adventurer’s Guilds in multiple cities send out Silver-rank teams and blasted him to bits. His last victim would have been this candlestick maker. Turns out that old nursery rhyme about the butcher, baker, and candlestick maker was a real story here; all three had parts of a key to some treasure. Looks like it’s safe, for now. Good pay, a bounty on the killer, and I also got a nice candelabra from him for free.”

Jordan – Some dude with a pickaxe. Not sure which race.

“All I’ve got for this one is that there’s some crazed killer who wanders the main roads, killing people with a giant pickaxe. No one’s lived long enough to get a good look at him, and he disappears before anyone can arrive in force. All we know is that he’s male because he likes to shout ‘yoho!’ right before he smashes someone’s head in. He’s sort of cool, don’t you think?”

Daryl Rogall – Fifteen bottles of Firebird Whiskey.

“Another heavy delivery, although in this case I can see why I was the chosen runner. I think the alcohol might have actually exploded if I kept jostling it around. It actually ignites when in contact with air, but this guy seemed to enjoy it. He says that if you don’t risk your life having fun, what’s the point? Gold coins for delivery; almost worth the singed eyebrows.

Stephan Rosseler – Level 12 [Tinkerer]. Gnoll.

“I’ve never met a Gnoll with this class, but he says he can help engineer better weapons for the adventurers. HE already built some kind of…battle…wagon. It has spikes, and he says you can push it straight into a group of enemies or down a hill. The Watch might be interested in it as well; I’ll mention him to Zevara.”

Berin Martini – Level 30 [Mason]. Drake.

“Um. He didn’t want to be an adventurer. I thought he did, but he was just here to fix the walls in the inn. Did a really good job too; he’s better than even the Antinium with his high level. He usually works on the walls, which is why I didn’t recognize him at first. So yeah. I guess if we ever need a castle built we can talk to him?”

Tavric – Fifteen bottles of beer on the wall! Krshia gave them to me as a present. Relc came by, and now there are six.

“Relc didn’t drink all the beers, mind you. This guy came over and decided to have a drinking contest with Relc! And they didn’t just drink beer; he had a keg of something really strong that made my head spin when I sniffed it! After that, he and Relc barely got down more than four beers each before they passed out. Do I charge him for the alcohol he brought into my inn?

Imbris – A dark night full of sighs and unexplained things.

“She came into my inn and paid for the night with songs and spoken words. The other guests laughed and clapped and listened to her sing. Day came too soon, and I sent her off with bread and cheese and meat, and a flask full of mead. I wish more people like her visited.

John-david – Level 28 [Halberdier], Drake.

“Another Gold-rank adventurer! He says he’s come to explore the ruins, but I don’t know if he’s looking for a party or if he wants to do this by himself. Those narrow corridors would be tough for anyone wielding a polearm, wouldn’t they? He must have some kind of unique skill–or he’s just insane. Maybe I can get him to partner with some of the Silver-rank adventurers? We’ll see.”

Taxman – A blustery day! Flying squirrels keep hitting my windows!

“He said he was an actual tax man, and I got scared! He ran off with half my gold until I realized what happened and sent Toren after him. I think he’s dead, because Toren just kept pointing towards a hole in the ground when I asked him what happened. I got my gold back, but he…um, flew. And then fell.

Ziranei – Pizza. Honest to god pizza. Sausage and cheese.

“Erin made some pizza, and served it to one of the guests at her inn. That’s the short side of the story, but then her guest was so in love with the food he asked for some at his home. And he was willing to pay a lot so Erin asked me and that’s how I became a damn pizza delivery girl. It paid a lot of money, though. Six silver coins for a rush job and just as much for Erin to make it? I guess this guy just really…likes…pizza.

Alex Nachlas – Really thin Human. Dark hair, dark skin…uh, really thin.

“This [Thief] is specialized in breaking into places by slipping through windows, and then hiding in impossible places like tiny cabinets until his pursuers have left. Seriously, I know it sounds weird but he can squeeze into almost any spot he wants. I’d say I could catch him, but last time he hid in a chimney…while it was smoking…for five hours! Gotta say, I sort of admire his determination.”

Jess Richards – All the lights in my inn went out and I couldn’t light them again!

“She arrived in darkness, and asked for something to eat. I didn’t have a fire, so I did what I could – sandwiches and milk. She said she was a hunter who lived in dark places. I asked what she was hunting, and she told me to bury it deep. When I looked outside I saw the giant…thing. She was gone when I went back into the inn. Toren had to bury it deep; only then did the lights come back on. AND SHE DIDN’T PAY THE BILL!”

Carter – A large rock. It was covered with moss one one side and fractured on the other.

“He wanted a rock. Seriously. A rock. Why the hell…? I earned one gold coin for the delivery, which makes me think something was inside of the rock. Or was it special…? I just don’t know.”

Stephany – Can’t stop to write. This is bat night.

“She came into my inn with a loaded crossbow. Oh, not to shoot me or anything; she helped clear out some of the stupid bats that were flying everywhere! They were big bats too; lots of fangs. Anyways, she asked if I could make something so I made bat soup and bat a la flambé. I burned the bats. But she was happy, and she paid well! Oh, by the way, she wasn’t a Gnoll or anything. I guess she just really liked the taste of bats…?

Xallion – Level 20 [Illusionist]. Human.

“He says he’d like to be part of any team that focuses on surprise attacks, and I can see why. He looked like a Gnoll when I met him. Note: illusions disappear on contact and he can’t do smells or sounds yet. Will be problematic with some monster extermination bounties.

Brandon PhuaAn orb made of clear glass. Spiders? What the FUCK?

“It was supposed to be an easy delivery, but those damn Goblins ambushed me. One hit me with a lucky shot and shattered the orb. And guess what came out? Spiders. Giant spiders that had been folded up inside. They swarmed all over me. I’m done. I need a shower, and then I’m going to burn all my clothes.”

Peter Wildani – A bright, clear blue sky and gusty winds. I saw Rags nearly get blown away.

“Do you believe a man can fly? That’s what he asked me. He says he wants to gain a class in flying, so he decided to jump off cliffs until he got the level. Um. I admire his courage? He says he gets a great deal on healing potions, so I guess there’s that.”

Michael Bojan – Some screaming Human guy. Look, he has a loud voice. It’ll be obvious.

“We’ve gotten reports of some Human who climbs onto rooftops and starts screaming at random. It’s loud, it usually happens at night, and it’s freaking people out. The Captain wants to find out what’s wrong with him or…what he’s trying to warn us about.”

Daryl Anderman – An…enchanted loaf? It keeps sparking and it weights a ton.

“This was a delivery from a baker, and I think it’s magical. Either that, or he spilled a ton of glitter dust on it. It keeps giving off different colored flashes of light, and when I look at it…anyways, I earned a few silver coins to deliver it to an adventurer. He claims it will sustain him for days in the dungeon by itself. Hm. Maybe I can buy one?”


“I don’t remember! I DO NOT REMEMBER! I don’t remember writing that here, I don’t know why one of the walls is gone or why there’s black stuff all inside the inn but not outside! I just have five gold coins and a message that says ‘thanks for the advice’. It’s burned on the counter!

Michael Lavery – A key made in three parts. One side onyx, another steel, and a third made of lacquered wood.

“Odd, how past deliveries follow me around. After the death of the butcher and baker from the murders via Runners, the candlestick maker gave me the three parts of a key that the three men had found long ago while at sea. It went to this young man, and I was paid in gold for it’s delivery. He took it without a word, and set out. What treasure was it? Where will he go? Maybe one day I’ll find out.”

Richard Davis – Level 12 [Rider], Level 12 [Warrior]. Human.

“See, Drakes don’t ride horses as much as humans and they’re hard to care for. But he says that his horse can smell Shield Spider pit traps and he can charge right through most monsters when mounted. Could be useful, but I’m not sure how many adventurers would be able to keep up with him. Will ask around.

Cody Adam Carrol – Bug attack! BUG ATTACK!

“When a thousand cockroach…things with huge pincers come out of the ground and enter your inn, who ya gonna call? Seriously, who do I call!? I was lucky he was here; he’s a [Hydromancer] that specializes in poisons. He flooded the ground with some kind of deadly toxin and then washed the insects away. That’s great and all and I’m grateful, but…the bugs! Where did they come from!? Not sleeping tonight.”

Antonio Velasquez – Tall Human guy who uses a greatshield when fighting.

“Another Bloodfeast Raider! He’s new to their group, but he’s already killed more than a dozen adventurers and guards. They need to be stopped; they work together too well to be just a group of [Bandits]. His equipment seems to suggest they’re either adventurers or former soldiers; no one’s managed to get past his shield so far. Note to self: must break shield. I can totally do it.”

Sarah Willson – I think I saw a rabbit in the clouds today. Selys says it looked like a Delirat and uh…maybe?

“She came to my inn and asked for some food. And…she didn’t explode, she didn’t try to rob me or cast weird magic or ask for weird food. I kept waiting for something to happen, but she just asked me why I was staring. It was so nice! She’s a travelling [Merchant], and we had a great time chatting. Until the bounty hunters burst in through the windows. It’s always something, right?”

Tristan A – Five bags of gold dust.

“It’s a sign that I’m becoming more trusted in the Guild, because this was a dangerous delivery. Gold is heavy, and there were more than one group of bandits on the lookout from this shipment from the mines. But I got it to the client without more than an arrow in the knee, which healed up after I used a potion. As it turns out though, the gold dust wasn’t going to be processed. The client was a powerful mage that needed it for some kind of spell. I think it backfired, because the tower I delivered it to blew up when I was five miles away.

Sean Fairlie – An ordinary day. No, really.

“He came. He saw. He ate fifty hamburgers and left. WHO WAS HE!?

Kyle Ryan – I was dreaming about stars. Then I woke up and banged my head on a cabinet. Seeing stars…

“So funny! I guess. Well–sort of mean, maybe? After the other guy came by and ate all my hamburgers, I had another visitor. He wanted a hamburger (an original which is why he came to me!) but I didn’t have any meat. So he went out and tried to kill something. He ran after one of those dino-birds, and they chased him around for hours! Personal note: don’t make them mad.

Arcman – Level 33 [Aeromancer]. Drowned Man.

“Lightning! From the sky! He uses one Tier 4 spell outdoors — [Call Lightning]. And believe me, it works. Unless he’s fighting something with extreme defenses (or he’s indoors), I think this guy can work alone. But isn’t it dangerous to use lightning spells because he’s half crab…?

Fox Brown – Level 14 [Actor]. Human.

“Nope. Nope. Hilarious, but nope. He pretends to be a really strong adventurer and scares monsters away. Apparently he’s had a lot of success with Goblin tribes and the like, but he’ll get killed the instant he runs into a Shield Spider. Too bad I had to turn him away; his armor looked quite magnificent, and so did his sword. But it was too dull to even cut butter.

Tildor – A block of jade. Not green; orange.

“I guess the geography of this place…nah, forget it. But people do know about jade here, because this was an important assignment. I carried a fortune in jade to a good stone cutter, dodging a lot of suspicious caravans with guards who were a bit too interested in me for some reason. I mean, this was a big block. Probably worth millions if carved right. Not that I was thinking about that or anything.

5HourLethargy – Never got a good look at him…her…it.

“Some kind of mage specializing in sleep magic. He goes around blowing sand on people and putting them to sleep. Then he robs them blind and runs off. Effective, and uh, he got me, once. I’m going to beat him up and take back the five…thirty gold coins he stole from me!

Felix Farmer – A Drake guy with black scales. He has a straw hat on his head most of the time.

“Another not-quite evil guy. He’s a [Farmer] who specializes in growing poisonous crops. They’re not meant for people to be eaten; they’re supposed to be used as traps for monsters. But some stupid people don’t pay attention and so there have been a few deaths. The Captain just wants me to warn him to warn other people not to be so stupid. How do you grow poisonous plants anyways?

Bethany Kimball – A snake with golden scales. Likes to try and bite me.

“Reminds me of the story about the golden goose. A few caveats here, though: this snake sheds only a bit of gold in its scales, enough to be pretty. And it has to be fed gold dust for the scales, so there’s no free gold here. But some noble loves the stupid thing and so I had to carry it a long way and even feed it twice. It might look golden, but it still craps like a normal animal.

Simon Hopkin – Level 6 [Warrior]. Level 4 [Mage]. Level 5 [Runner]. Level 8 [Brawler]. Level 2 [Thief]. Human.

“How odd! I’ve never met anyone with so many different classes, and so low-level too. He seems like a drifter; he says he wanted to try to become an adventurer after he was a bouncer at a bar, a member of a town militia, and a Street Runner. I guess he’ll be okay as a Bronze-rank, but does he have any useful skills? We’ll see.

Ben Goldstein – The sun is bright. And there are no shadows whatsoever for some reason.

“He came in and challenged me to ULTIMATE CHESS. That’s chess where both of us are blindfolded and play the game while alternating sides so we have to predict which one of us will be the winner. So much fun. I actually lost quite a few games until I got the hang of it!

Hao Tian – Two magical rings. They shine when touched together.

“A pair of rings for an obnoxious couple. They’re the sons and daughters of aristocracy and they ordered a matching set of enchanted rings. Bleh. But the rings are useful. Not only do they shine together, but they can be used to locate the other, and both have strong enchantments against poison, blades, and even sickness. Nice way to show you care, right?

Michael K – Windy day! Explains the visitor I got.

“Would you believe a bird can fly? Wait a second. Um, anyways, he was a flying bird-man! With wings! And a beak! It’s way weirder than it sounds, but apparently he’s part of this bird-people that live on another continent? Anyways, he liked my acid flies a lot, and he ate a lot of them before flying off! He said he had to rejoin his tribe. Sounded pretty urgent, too.

Karen Renee – Level 42 [Pyromancer]. Human.

“I know her. She’s a Gold-rank adventurer, but I had to kick her out of the city and ask Zevara to make sure the gate guards don’t let her in. She might be a great adventurer, but she tends to burn down everything around her by accident. There’s a reason why people call her the Human Fireball. We don’t need her in my city, and anywhere around me, thanks.

Jim Waldrop – A painting. Folded up and shoved into a rough bag.

“Now this is clever. I got a priceless painting of a beautiful landscape–some kind of magnificent aerial view that the artist had to be flown up to see. And it was magnificent. The reason it was disguised was that the client didn’t want to attract attention and risk it being stolen. The painting was in bad shape when I got there, but one [Repair] spell and it was back to normal. Good tactic. I’ll remember this.

Paul Jackson – I thought I heard an owl outside my window. It was just Relc asking ‘who?’ to Klbkch. A lot.

“Relc brought one of his guardsmen friends! A Drake. He was nice, but he kept asking if I wanted to stroke his tail. I think SOMEONE has been talking. I told him no and he seemed disappointed. And Relc got drunk and tried to hit everyone. Including me! They’re all banned for three days, including Klbkch.

Jon L. – A Dwarf with no beard. I think he shaved it as a disguise.

“Uh. He’s a danger? This Dwarf things he’s a high-level [Rogue], but he’s really not. He can’t hide in a dark room and when he pickpockets people he can barely reach into their pockets! I nearly caught him twice, but each time I laughed too hard to get him. Klb is on the case now, and he never laughs. Poor Dwarf. Guess he’s going to jail. Unless he slips between the bars.

Dolphantasia – No actual delivery today. Recording an incident on the road near Celum.

“Ran into another City Runner today. Human (odd that I have to mention that), male. Another City Runner like me. He was busy doing a multi-leg delivery for some big-shot client who was still too cheap to hire Couriers. It was a prototype wand — some kind of weapon against a powerful cult, a group of nasty bastards who have enough firepower to waste a small city. ‘Avocadolph’ I think they’re called. Anyways, he and I ran together for a few hours, but then we got ambushed. [Assassins], warriors and archers, and a [Mage] with lightning spells. I saw him running to get away, but I was too busy dodging arrows. Hope he made it to his destination safely.

Alberto Muñiz – A bar of everlasting soap.

“Everlasting soap. Some kind of high-quality alchemical/mage creation. I’m not sure if it’s actually everlasting; it might just be extremely efficient. Regardless…I want one. Too bad it costs more than the average City Runner earns in a year. I guess someone cares about hygiene.

Lorreina Guyett – A quiver of enchanted arrows. I was given strict instructions not to drop or jostle them.

“Pins and needles. That’s what I was on while doing this delivery. No other Runner wanted to do it; enchanted arrows are notoriously unstable. And if one goes off, they all go off. The female [Ranger] seemed happy enough to get them, I guess. They’re expensive, but really useful against large monsters like Trolls and Manticores and so on.

Devin J Russell – Level 14 [Alchemist]. Drake.

“Deadly potions, the ability to harvest monsters on the spot, and a team player? Wonderful! The only problem is that he doesn’t have anywhere to stay, and I’m not letting him sleep in the guild. I know we have beds, but…no. I’m not having the entire building blown up or set on fire. Again.

Cody Bessert – A quiet day, where leaves fall from some unknown tree high above.

“A sad thing happened today. A young man–a boy, really–came in, looking for his family. He asked me if I knew where his home was. I told him I didn’t know. I offered him a meal, but he said he couldn’t stay. He wandered out, a ghost looking for the place where he had died. I wish I could have hugged him.

Dhruv Garg – Level 25 [Diplomat]. Human.

“He’s from Chandrar, and he thinks he can talk monsters into being peaceful. I uh, don’t think he’s ever met a Rock Crab. A lot of the monsters on his continent are sentient, but I’m not sure his tactics will work here. Too bad. He’s got a really nice voice.

Pavante – A wall in my inn fell down. Turns out I have termites.

“I think he’s a walking…anteater? He’s one of the Beastkin; he heard I had termites and volunteered to eat them all. I’m not sure if I was doing him a favor or he was doing me one. Anyways, he must have been really hungry because he ate them all! And he helped the Antinium fix the walls. Turns out being a [Builder] is a useful class when you visit a lot of ruined buildings.

Ianray7 – A talking head. He kept staring at my breasts until I put him in the bag. Then he complained the entire trip.

“A head. Yeah. It wasn’t an artifact or anything else. It was a legitimate head. Apparently, the String People don’t die when their heads are cut off. They burn, though, which is what I threatened him I’d do if he didn’t shut up. I took him to a tailor to get repaired. I guess it’s all okay, but he was a noisy damn passenger.

Aaron Zamanzadeh – A bottle full of a strange blue liquid.

“I was paid a lot of money to deliver some of this stuff to a merchant. He said he could sell it again for quite a profit, but I recognized the liquid. It’s the same damn stuff Erin served me! Apparently it’s hard to distill because of the poison. That makes me worried about what Erin’s been drinking…

Ionias – Level 19 [Blacksmith], Level 22 [Rogue]. Human.

Where’s the blacksmith!? Seriously though, what an odd combination. She sneaks up behind monsters and then bashes their skulls in with a hammer. It works but…I don’t know. Is this really okay?


Sorry Erin, but it’s hard for me to find anywhere else to put this. I’m collecting old stories of adventurers and heroes as part of a project. I’ll write some of them down here.



Eric Borjal – Ten thousand years ago. Baleros. The Magus Kingdom of Azervrish.

“I read of a kingdom of Selphids, long ago. Back before their species took over dead bodies, Selphids were far more numerous and enslaved every race they could find. They were ruled by a powerful [Archmage] by this name, but the kingdom fell into ruin after their host slaves and a coalition of other nations destroyed them. The Selphids have not had a nation in the sense of a set area of land since.

Johnny2by4 – Hmm. Some kind of rumor of an adventurer?

“An odd tale. This one was told to me in an inn, so I can’t verify the details. Apparently, there was once a powerful adventurer who was…completely insane. He talked and spoke in odd ways–hence the name. But he was brave and fought well, and he died taking down a dragon. And yet, he insisted others would know of him by his name which is why everyone had to call him by it. Who were his people? Why did they never find him even when he was a Named Adventurer?

Newguy Roy – Legendary [Assassin]? Rumor is twenty years old. Hope he’s dead.

“This is the story I was told, of the innocent killer of Terandria. He looks innocent, and acts like a young man, in both smile and action. But he is ancient, and kills without qualm or hesitation. He’s a half-Elf who cut his ears to look like a Human. And he has never been caught. Gave me shivers when I heard this story.

Wyldie Maxwell – Three hundred years ago, a Human [Mage] in Chandrar.

“She was a weather mage, one of the few powerful enough to manipulate weather for a lasting time over a large area of land. She gave the dry nations bountiful harvests and green lands. While she lived. But she attempted to change the desert, and the effort sucked the life out of her. With her death, all that she had created fell to ruin once more until only sand remained.

Raymond Lirag – Terandria, a hundred years ago. Not rumor or myth; his life is well-documented.

“He was a [Knight] and expert [Blademaster] who taught hundreds, possibly thousands of warriors in his time. The basis of his teachings make up modern sword fighting techniques. I can only imagine that his [Blademaster] class was far higher than his [Knight] class; it might be that he only had one or two honorary levels as a result of his exceptional abilities.

MrD – A [Healer] of great renown. Passed away when I was around 14 years old.

“Most people say that mages and alchemists are the only healers that can manage severe injuries. And yet, this man helped heal countless adventurers who were maimed and crippled. He couldn’t reattach limbs, but he could save people on the brink of death. Apparently, every team of adventurers — even Named Adventurers — wanted him on dangerous expeditions.


I don’t care anymore.



Celerytop – Two packs of celery seeds. Really heavy; joint delivery with Garia.

“Okay, I’m certain that this was a stupid idea. Who has a Runner deliver seeds? Far more cost-effective to order some on one of the slow caravans. But these are…magical…seeds or something. Garia says this [Farmer] grows celery as tall as I am. I guess that’s good? Not really a fan of celery, but at least Garia’s happy about it.

Sean Meyer – An artist? Seriously, Captain? Is this guy really a threat?

“So…yeah. Apparently this Gnoll is a threat. He’s always covered in dried paints which makes him easy to see, and he’s dangerous because he throws paint in people’s eyes. It’s some kind of art, apparently. Pain is expression? I dunno, but I feel like this isn’t worth the time. Unless I can get him to paint Klb. That would be hilarious!

Slayer Monk – Angry Gnoll who keeps punching people. Not hard to find.

“I fought this guy once. He’s…a [Monk]. He punches people. I think he’s just mad or something. Anyways, he’s got an impressive build and his Skills allow him to deflect weapon strikes. We got interrupted in our last match, but this time I’m going to find him and beat him!

Garrick Tan – Silver and gold rings. Some are inlaid with gems.

“A delivery for an [Enchanter]. I was sweating bullets as I carried this package, but the rings are worth far less than they are with magic in them. Apparently, this is enough to last the guy for a year or two. Enchanting takes a long time. Good pay, but ah, I’m not volunteering to deliver the rings when they’re enchanted. Too many people gunning for you, then.

Aka-Senpai – Another weird adventurer. Appeared…ten years back? Dead now.

“This was another odd rumor I heard, of an adventurer who insisted that he be referred to like this. Not sure if he was related to the other one, but he had an odd way of fighting. Insisted on using katanas…three at once, for some reason. How do you use three swords at once? He was strong, but perished clearing a dungeon.

Justin Seldomridge – Red and purple. Those are the only two colors I saw in today. Ryoka thinks it was something I ate.

“He came in when everyone was at my inn. All the regulars, I mean. I feel really, really bad. First Relc hit him by accident, then Toren dropped a plate on him–but only because Pisces tripped! Selys tried to help, but he tried to run away and then kicked Rags in the face by accident. Um. I gave him a full refund.

Morgan Searle – The hero of Ber. The Isles of Minos. Tale is hundreds, possibly thousands of years old.

“A tale Calruz told me. This Human fought in the Minotaur King’s arena for years, besting even the strongest of Minotaur warriors and monsters. But he was brought low by a single lucky strike from a Goblin in a nameless match. Calruz meant it as a cautionary tale, but I wonder if the Goblin was stronger if he could bypass both armor and defensive Skills so easily. Calruz clammed up when I said that, though.


“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! He has no–I mean, his face! It has no…stuff! That stuff around the face! The eyes and teeth and nose is…but the rest is…how can he eat!? He ate some bread and…I can’t sleep. I’m locking the doors. I mean, he was nice, but…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Sanjay – A sword that’s ALWAYS ON FIRE DAMNIT.

“Who make this damn sword!? It’s constantly on fire! Unless it’s in a magical sheathe, it will be on fire and burning everything in sight. But the sheathe and sword were made in different places. And guess who got to deliver the sword over a hundred miles to the damn sheathe? My hair still smells like smoke.

Andrew Cheng – A dangerous Human who’s always blowing on a pipe. He has a hat…?

“A high-level [Plague Tamer]. That’s some kind of version of [Beast Master]. He leads armies of rats and spiders and all kinds of nasty creatures to overrun rural villages. I…don’t want to fight him. Can’t we get some mages to kill him instead?

J H – Level 10 [Runner]. Level 16 [Mage]. Drake.

“An interesting combination. He claims he can do most requests by himself with hit-and-run tactics. He doesn’t have many high-Tier spells, though. I’m not sure I should back him, but I’ll enroll him as a Bronze-rank adventurer while I test him on some light missions.

Mujtaba Syed – From Chandrar, a poem of four hundred years. This is the fragment I recall.

“…and fought and fought into the night, to slay the horrific Ghoulish blight…to fall and die and rise and fly. To serve in death as he did in life.

I can’t understand parts of the poem. Fly? Was he wearing a ring? And who reanimated him? It’s a mystery, but it sounds like he was widely regarded as a hero.

Moxter – Pale, sickly Human male. Often wearing robes. Finish off at range; DO NOT GET CLOSE.

“Another Bloodfeast Raider! This one is famous because he’s specialized in poison magic. He slaughters people with gas clouds or poisons water ahead of attacks. I might be able to hold my breath long enough to get in and out, but he also has a lot of contact poisons. Got to get an archer to wipe this jerk out.

Nystran – I looked out my window and saw a thousand hedgehogs rolling and crawling across the plains. So cute!

“NOT CUTE! He was grabbing hedgehogs and trying to eat them! He was a Gnoll, but…still! I tried to stop him, but when he learned I was an innkeeper, he wanted me to make some food out of the hedgehogs! I mean, I c–no!

Cajer Gong – A bell. It makes no sound when rung.

“Another magical artifact. This one’s a warning bell, tuned to this individual and a few others. A good idea — he can warn a select group of individuals fairly easily. According to the client, the bell is quite audible; he heard me coming from miles away. I guess it’s useful? But a warning’s not much useful if someone’s stabbing you in the stomach.

Alan McBrayer – A Human with a strange smile. That’s all we have to go on.

“He’s a psychopath. He walks around and kills people he doesn’t like. He just…goes up to them and kills them. With his hands. He’s got some kind of dark class and the skills to match. Honestly, I’m worried. He’s not near Liscor, but if he does arrive in our city–it’s too hard to find one person among thousands. Especially with Humans. They all look alike.

Paul Shea – Level 29 [Beastmaster]. Gnoll.

“He was offering to train monsters and animals to help adventurers on missions. I thought it was a good idea, but I was worried that without his influence the creatures would run wild. Plus, housing and feeding them would be a pain. I also think we’d need a permit and…nah, it’s too much work.

Ally – Dude in armor? Maybe female? Human? Drake? Minotaur? Actually, too small to be a Minotaur.

“This is just a fact-finding mission, or so Z says. There’s some crazy person running around helping people in trouble. Doesn’t matter if they’re Drake, Human, pig, whatever. This warrior in armor runs over and helps them fight, usually against monsters. They call themselves ‘ally’, and they seem harmless. But we just want to make sure they’re okay, so my job is to catch them and take off that helmet. As non-violently as possible.

Daniel Ruan – A King Emperor Overlord? I can’t tell what kind of ruler he was. Historically about six hundred years old.

“He was a terrible despot. The worst of people. A monster. But ah, he was still better than the other ruler of a nation across the continent. When he killed the other tyrant people were celebrating him and praising his name for years. Then they wised up and killed him. But he still has statues somewhere.

Atrocitas – The Book of Pain. No, really, that’s what it was called. Fancy ominous lettering on a really heavy book. Blank pages inside.

“I had no idea this world had [Actors]. But apparently, they do, and this guy wanted a specially commissioned prop piece. I’ll give him credit; this is quite a bit more impressive than something from my world. It actually has an aura of darkness, and you can hear screams if you open the book. Not sure what play it’s for but…I’m sort of interested.

Jared – A [Warrior] who died around sixty years ago.

“Here’s a tale I think Ryoka might like. Jared was a low-level [Warrior] who didn’t even have a specialized class. But he was hailed as a legendary warrior for decades afterwards because he managed to bring down a nest of Wyverns. Alone. His entire team had run into them while doing a scouting mission. All of them died, but his corpse was found nearly untouched in the center of a ring of eight adults and twice as many children. I have no idea how he did it, but he must have been an incredible fighter even at low-levels.

Argus Lowell – Brr. Cold floors and I accidentally left the windows open. I should buy a carpet.

“He came in and talked and talked and talked and…gah! I mean, I like to chat but this guy didn’t even stop. Even Toren ran away and my ears started ringing after three hours. He kept eating even when I fed him! He wanted to stay for the night, but I couldn’t handle it. Sorry guy!

Jonathan Green – Level 28 [Farmer]. Human.

“Again, I don’t feel like I should accept these people as adventurers! But he has a ton of combat-oriented skills. Apparently his farm gets attacked so much he learned how to fight with a pitchfork and…yeah. Silver-rank adventurer. No question about that. Pitchforks are scary!

Cantor – Tall Gnoll with dark fur, brown or black, and a scar over both eyes.

“A really unusual case. This guy was a famous [Bandit Lord] back in the day, but an adventurer took him out. Blinded him in both eyes, even though he got away. Normally he wouldn’t be a threat, but his leadership skills are still intact. He’s assembled another group of raiders and they’re getting to be a larger threat. We need to take him out, but he’s hiding. Where could his base be?

Alexander Arnold – A piece of paper folded up with a wax seal.

“Mysterious note/
five bandits try to kill me/
what was the secret?

Alexander Lieberman – A sleepy day. When I woke up, everything was yellow! Probably from all the pollen. Achoo!

“It was a wonderful day with clear blue skies and warm air when he came in. He said he was a [Hedge Mage]. That’s like a mage who taught himself how to use magic. Really cool. Anyways, he’s not a fighter and he doesn’t melt people into puddles. Instead, he uses his magic to help plants grow and cure sick animals! He even gave me a wheel of cheese that tastes really good. Nice guy. Smelled a bit like cow poo, though.

Karsten – A two-year old rumor I can’t confirm. I think the guy at the bar was making this up.

“I’m told there’s a Drowned Man out there who can breathe fire like a dragon. I think this is a complete lie, but I’ve met at least two people who swear they’ve met him. Maybe if the monster-half of him was spitting some kind of acid that looked like fire…I don’t know. It’s a powerful technique if true, but fire? From a Drowned Man? Really?

Maximilianshade – Level 40 [Receptionist]. Drake.

“He wanted MY job! Can you believe–well, he does have a lot of levels. But really! I mean…he might have a lot of Skills, but I know this Guild inside and out! I grew up here! I know all the people! He can’t just come in and…I banned him because he’s obviously not useful. Obviously. We don’t need any extra receptionists either. Nope. He can go work with Humans or somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Aji V – A Selphid. Kill on sight.

“This is a really, really dangerous individual. She–I think it’s a she–doesn’t just inhabit the bodies of the dead. As if that wasn’t bad enough. No; she tracks down strong individuals and takes them over while they’re still alive. We need to kill her quick. Jelaqua Ivirith has volunteered to help take her down when she resurfaces again. Until then, everyone’s going to be watching their tails.

Tetrareggaeton – Small person. Really, uh, small. Not a Dwarf; one of the tiny people. What are they called again…?

“One of the latest members of the Bloodfeast Raiders. I think he’s their scout or something, but he’s quite deadly in combat too. Sure this little fellow isn’t swinging a sword around (or if he is, no one notices), but he’s adept at using poisoned weapons. People will drop dead days after the raiders attack. I’m totally gonna squish him.

Mike Giroux – A 1,500 year old tale among Gnolls.

“Apparently, there was once a Human who earned the respect of the tribes. So much so, he eventually formed his own tribe and led them as a Chieftain! Odd. I can’t imagine Drakes or Humans being too keen being ruled by a different species. As for half-Elves, forget about it. But I guess Gnolls respect ability more than race.

Maxim Despinoy – Level 22 [Healer]. Gnoll.

“We can always use another healer at the guild! This guy won’t actually go with people on missions, but he’s valuable enough that I think we can persuade him to stay at the guild — maybe offer him a free bed? He can help patch up adventurers too poor for potions or who have more complex injures like parasites or…gross stuff.

Caby – A shadow blocks the sun. Is it a tree? Nope. Really tall guy!

“Really, REALLY tall guy! So tall that he couldn’t even really get into my inn. I mean, he could if he sat, but it was easier to bring the food out to him. He tells me it’s easy to run away, but hard to stay anywhere because he’s so tall. I felt bad, so I helped him make an umbrella to help with the weather!

Memnoch – A Trueblood Vampire. Perhaps still alive…? Last sighting was five hundred years ago.

“Vampires. I know all of the famous true Vampires have died, but a [Historian] I met swore to me up and down that this guy was another one. He was a wanderer, not like the ones who holed up in castles, so verifying his existence is hard. But if he was a true Vampire, I can’t imagine how powerful he must have been…

Lightwavers – A storm and a friend.

“A traveller comes/
in pouring rain and thunder/
to sit; chat awhile.

c s – Five words that cannot be repeated.

“My client was…I can’t even remember their face. I know I met them, but the magic enchanting them took the memory of our meeting from my mind. I was told to travel a hundred miles and meet a shadowed stranger just past dawn in a forest under a marked tree and whisper the words in their ear after they had given me a golden token inscribed with the head of a beat and set with tiny ruby eyes. Seriously. Isn’t it overkill? Eh, I got paid well so it doesn’t matter. I did get paid, right…?


Human, I’m requisitioning this book for the Watch. I’m recording battles and events on the continent here.

–Watch Captain Zevara.


Mark Owen/SideraX/kiraiakuma – Recording a conflict between a three Gold-rank adventuring teams and the Bloodfeast Raiders. Those listed above are the team Captains.

“The Bloodfeast Raiders attacked just past midday. They hit a small village called Gyrss with spells before their warriors closed in. They expected no resistance.

What they found was instead of villagers, three Gold-rank adventurer teams were lying in ambush. The Venom Guard, the Underwalkers, and Parasol joined forces to collect the bounty on the Bloodfeast Raiders.

The collective six mages of the Gold-rank teams blasted at least five raiders apart while the rest of the adventurers emerged from houses and caught the raiders in an ambush. Several raiders fell to blades before the rest retreated. It is believed more died from poisoned wounds, and one corpse was found in the Underwalker’s pit trap–buried beneath the dirt. The adventuring teams lost no members, although several were badly wounded.

Collectively, they’ve earned over three thousand gold pieces from that battle and I expect the Bloodfeast Raiders will be much reduced over the coming months.”


Noooooooo! Give me my book back!



James Morgensen Level 40 [Farmer]. Human.

“Uh, this guy isn’t an adventurer. But he did stop by to drop off a Silver-rank adventurer that he beat up. Apparently, the adventurer picked a fight and he…won. He says he used a hoe, but the Human he brought in was wearing plate armor. I guess a [Farmer] has some skills, huh? I wonder if we can do a deal with his farm.”

Ralf Liebau – Tall, sinister. May smell of alcohol; I dunno. Look, he’s a Gnoll who with a patch over one eye. Shouldn’t be hard to spot.

“A Gnoll [Pirate]! No, I’m not joking. Captain Z thought I was, but this is a real guy! He’s been hitting coastal cities and towns. He pilots a ship with a murderous crew — the Howling Wind. He’s already plundered several dangerous magical objects and he has a scimitar that inflicts cuts which can’t be healed with magic! He’s dangerous, but no one’s going after him because no one believes there’s such a thing as a Gnoll [Pirate]. But he’s real! I swear!”

Colin Packard – Some kind of heroic bug slayer? A story dated around 2,000 years old.

“I swear, ever since people have learned I’m writing this stuff down I hear weirder stories. Apparently, yes, apparently this guy was a famous adventurer who specialized in slaying bugs. Only bugs. He had some kind of unique class. But he fought some really horrific things if the tales are true. Beetles and mutated insects as large as a grown Dragon? Some spit acid, others disgorged their children, or laid eggs in their victims–dead gods, he must have been brave.”

Andrew – My inn still smells like wet dog.

“I think he was a werewolf. He smelled like a dog, and he had fleas. But he might have been a really smelly guy. Anyways, I served him the hamburger raw. And I found a dead Corusdeer on my doorstep the next day. Uh…good dog? Bad dog? He’s got sharp teeth either way.”

Kyle f – So…hot…too hot to write stuff…

“I think I got scammed today! Suddenly it got really hot. Like…so hot that all the water in the inn melted. And when I was just dying for some water, this guy showed up selling water. For five silver pieces a glass. I paid him, and then he left and it got cooler. I tried to go after him, but then I wondered if he’d evaporate all the moisture out of my face or something. Five silver pieces isn’t too bad.”

Sebastian Fisker – A moldy banana peel? Really?

“I thought this was some kind of joke delivery…turns out I was dead right. Some rich [Lord] gets his kicks by making City Runners and Couriers do ultra long-distance marathons delivery pointless (and gross) things. I wanted to punch that bastard, but the pay was good. And he had bodyguards.”

Jonathan Murphy – Level 29 [Bandit]. Human.

“I, uh, don’t know. There was nearly a fight when he walked into the Guild. Apparently this guy was a famous bandit–he successfully robbed a lot of people and even killed some adventurers who went after him. Now he says…well, he came in and says he wants to be an Adventurer. He’s got the skills although some of them are geared more towards theft, but can we trust him? I guess I’ll have to get someone to watch him carefully.”


“This guy. This Human–I just can’t deal with this. I’m getting Klbkch and we’re going down to kick his tail right now! HE ATE THE LAST PIE ON SALE! He’s some kind of–well, I don’t know what he actually does, but he’s going down! Now!”

Clay Ferguson – Recording Relc’s idiot behavior and a potentially dangerous threat.

“Ignore the last entry. That idiot Relc just went after a Human [Merchant] in the city over some kind of argument over a…pie? He’s just lucky Klbkch and this Human stopped him. He’s a [Bodyguard]; a decently strong one, too. He could match Relc for several strikes even though Relc wasn’t too serious and he didn’t have his spear. Regardless, I think the Humans are fine. Relc is docked two weeks pay and scrubbing the barracks as I write.”

Gabriel McCall – Level 14 [Alchemist]. Drake.

“Relc is so stupid…uh, this is Selys! Not Watch Captain Zevara. I just felt I should mention that. Anyways, I’m just writing this down because I was talking with a [Alchemist] about getting some emergency tripvine bags or defensive equipment. Some of our adventurers got chewed up by a rogue Creler a while back, and I want some insurance they can buy. No dice as of yet, though. This [Alchemist] says he mainly makes perfumes. I bought some.”

Netter – One net made of magically-enchanted metal. Explains the name.

“My job was to deliver some kind of extremely heavy and extremely valuable net to a [Netter]. Apparently, it’s a variation of the [Fisher] class, and this one was made to capture dangerous monsters. It’s weighted so the hunter can just hold down the monster and let them starve rather than get close if they’re really dangerous. Useful, smart, but really frickin’ heavy.”

Eric Schulz – A shapeshifter. Yup. Just kill anything suspicious I guess.

“Relc here. It’s so hard to get my claws on this book! I had to steal it from the Captain’s desk to write this…anyways, there’s a bounty out for this…uh, thing. We’re not sure right now if it’s some kind of monster or a person with the ability; in fact, we only know that this  thing is a threat because it was pretending to be that Human I just mentioned until it got caught. It could be smart, it could be really strong, but no one knows. Eh, whatcha gonna do? If I see it I’ll stab it.” 

Øyvind – Recording the death of famed [Protector] and subsequent warnings.

“The Arrowshield of Yws…is dead. He was assassinated by an as-of-yet unknown member of the Assassin’s Guild during an attempt on the life of one of the Lords of the Wall in the Walled City of Zeres. Until further details are known, all cities are to be on the look out for said [Assassin]. Drakes have lost a hero today.”

Tom Jolly – Another Pirate! Human! Scar on his face! I swear it’s true!

“Everyone made fun of me last time about the [Pirate] Gnoll! Even Erin! EVEN ERIN! But this guy’s real, I’m sure of it. I’m gonna catch him and ask him if he knows the other Gnoll guy. And then everyone will know I’m right. Everyone. Oh, and this guy raided a bunch of merchant ships. Totally evil and all that.”

Tazzzo – Potentially dangerous monster. Recording here for prudence’s sake.

“We get these kind of warnings every few years. A Silver-rank adventurer found some kind of inscription on a cave wall about ten miles from the city. Apparently there’s some kind of monster or guardian that ‘steals the essence of magic and claims it as its own to spawn its brood’ by this name. It sounds like a real threat if our ancestors were worried enough to write all this down but…less than 1% of all these threats ever surface. We’ll keep an eye out though; we always do.”

The Sleepless Baron – Recounting the legend of a powerful adventurer. 240 years old-ish.

“This adventurer got his (or her? Can females be barons? I don’t know Human titles that well) name from their impressive feat of endurance. Apparently, an immensely powerful monster was able to cast the [Sleep] spell or a stronger version across a fifty mile radius. It would then devour the helpless victims, until this hero managed to resist the spell and slay the beast. I wonder, though, if this hero was able to reproduce the sleep effect with whatever aspect of the monster was casting the spell? I’ll ask more if I find someone who knows the rest of the myth.”

Jacob n Williams


Andy Hundt – Continent-wide bounty on the [Assassin] that slew the Arrowshield of Yws.

“It’s been confirmed. I’ve received word from Zeres; this Human was the one responsible for killing the famed protector with a poisoned dart. The [Assassin] is a low-level one, but the poison he wielded was almost instantly lethal. The Humans are refusing to hand them over and of course the Assassin’s Guild claims immunity, but this Human is dead if ever they’re spotted in Drake lands. I’ll pass word to all the [Guardsmen] later today.”

Kevin Bergemann

Daniel Hogan

Matt Hamm

Osher Pappo

Starlit Citadel – NOT A DELIVERY. I saw it as I was running out of Celum!

“It was a goddamn ship flying through the air. I swear, I saw it! There was someone piloting it, but I didn’t see who it was. They flew through the air as if they were moving through water. No one believes me, though, not even Erin! No one else saw it, but I swear, I saw it! I wasn’t–okay, I was drinking but it was real!


Clarence Odunsi

Indigo – Recording exceptionally dangerous monster!

“This Named Adventurer had died in battle. They perished while fighting in a dungeon to an unknown monster. However, their corpse has reanimated (means unknown) and has already slain a score of victims. I am sending Relc and other cities are sending their highest-level guardsman to form a force to bring down this undead. Every Gold-rank team within two hundred leagues has been alerted. If this creature moves within a hundred miles of Liscor I will close the gates until it is destroyed!”

Nicholas Guyett

Will – This is a record of a first-year [Guardsman]’s probation and a suggested commendation for heroism.

“For the moment, I’ve ordered this young Drake clean out the barracks. He may have killed that Rock Crab by himself, but he abandoned his post to save the patrol. He’ll be under probation for three weeks and then we’ll give him the medal.”

Gordon Chen


Alexander Kirst

Andrew Muller – A mason’s jar.

“One tearful request.

Memory’s delivery;

A hero’s last rest.”

Scott Saley – Not a delivery; got my ass kicked and I feel like writing it down.

“Apparently, Drakes play a game reminiscent of football. I saw a few of them playing outside and wanted to join in. I was doing pretty well until a Human adventurer decided to join in. Apparently Humans play the same game, and a [Warrior] with bull-rushing skills can hit me hard enough to make the world disappear for a few seconds. I’m not doing that again.”

Ala Will – Potential recruit?

“An interesting question has arisen today. I’ve received a request from a Human to join the City Watch. He has a decent level for a [Guardsman] that served in Human cities; he’s Level 18 or so he claims — will back up with magical artifact — but I’m conflicted over the choice. A lot of the Watch feel we don’t need a Human to do our job, and I’m of the same view. But this man claims he wants to work here because of the better conditions compared to a Human city. I’ll think it over and get back to him tomorrow.”

James Panao O’Connor – Foreign dignitary.

“A high-level [Emissary] came to treat with our city today. He comes from Baleros, and aside from his diplomatic classes he’s quite capable in combat. Baleros’s best dignitaries are always combat-capable. He’s offering a lucrative trade deal, but the distances involved are prohibitive. I’m just writing this down in case he causes trouble; the last dignitary we got picked a drunken fight in three bars.”

Rob Adams – There’s a walking banana outside my inn…

“I ate a bad mushroom. But the nice man came by and didn’t get mad when I threw a knife at his face! I gave him a free meal on the house after the floor stopped getting up to walk away. He even stayed the night, although he didn’t want to try my mushroom surprise dish.”

CredulaPostero – Level 11 [Warrior]. TROLL.

“He was a troll! I swear! He was huge and–and he spoke! He talked as if he was educated! I thought I was going to die, but he kept swatting aside adventurers and asking if he could join! In the end I had to say no–just imagine the trouble he’d cause! He looked disappointed and said he’d try a Human guild. I think…should I warn someone?

Dane Miller – An old legend of a famous [Woodcutter]. 80 years old?

“This story comes to me from a credible source. Apparently, there was a woodcutter who reached such a high level that they could fell entire trees with a single cut. That sounds…plausible. It might not work for a really big tree or some of the stone or metal ones–or these blue fruit trees Erin keeps talking about–and the skill might only work once or twice per day, but I could see that. Apparently, Adventurer Guilds would call on him whenever a treant or wood-based monster showed up. He was living death against them.”

Tristen Ogle – One new sword. Steel.

“Battlefield delivery. The request was to deliver it to a soldier and so I did. Those damn archers kept shooting at me until one of the [Mages] kicked up a sandstorm. Anyways, I got the sword to the guy just in time for him to run someone through with it. Barely got away before the cavalry charged. Last time I take on a request from a [Soldier].

Django Bonderman/Cameron Duncan – Chocolate rain! Chocolate r–wait, that’s not chocolate…

“I saw two mages duel today! Can I call it a wizard duel, or is that the wrong word? Anyways, these two guys got really mad at each other because one of them trash-talked the other’s magic. Anyways, they started throwing spells at each other on a nearby hill. One was a [Geomancer], and the other one was an [Aeromancer]. In the end, there were so many dirt tornadoes and pieces of mud falling from the sky that Zevara sent the Watch out! They shot arrows at the mages and then the mages made a dirt tornado which blew a bunch of the guardsmen all over the place. They had to run when the Antinium showed up, though. It was fun to watch!”

Joseph Gratian – Level 41 [Chef]. Human.

“He said he wants to try something else after cooking food all his life. I was dubious…until I saw his knife skills. Apparently he got a lot of weapon proficiency skills and he can even slice apart iron with a normal knife! I’m elevating him to Silver-rank immediately, and we might get better food in the guild as well! Ours could use some more seasonings.”

Zachery R Hunnicutt – A ghost? Yeah, I can’t stab that.

“It’s Relc time! This is a ghost. Yeah. It’s a Human ghost who used to be this fancy [Fencer]. Apparently he didn’t stay dead and now he’s going around challenging people which isn’t fair since they can’t usually hit him back. He’s good enough to dodge spells and I uh, I don’t want to fight him. Maybe I’ll let Klbkch handle that.”

Chris M – A Gnoll with crimson fur. I think he dyes it.

“Yeah, it’s me, Relc, again. This other guy’s sort of a threat? He messes with the Gnoll tribes and they’ve put a bounty on him. He plays pranks, apparently. Just that. He dips other Gnolls’ tails in sticky tar or paint, tosses pricker burrs on them…I really don’t get it. But he sounds sort of cool.”

David Wells – Recording a negotiation in progress with the Antinium and a construction expert.

“This isn’t my field, but I was called in to intermediate between Klbkch and a construction expert working on behalf of the city. The Drake has a specialized version of the [Builder] class that allows him to build superior wells that resist tunneling monsters, contaminated water, and so on. The only problem is that the bargain with the Antinium means they must be consulted with any construction projects. The [Builder] wasn’t too keen to work with the Antinium, but he took the request. The estimated cost for all the wells will run past two thousand gold pieces.”

Nuraku – Level 22 [Ninja]. Human. Or so the note said…

“I can’t prove this one. I turned my back for a second to go to the bathroom, and then I found a note on the counter. No one saw anyone put it there, but it listed this person’s class and race and asked if they could join. I wrote down ‘yes’, and after a few minutes the note was gone! Either the adventurers are playing a trick on me, or there really is some hidden person in the guild. I’d better watch where I change clothes.

Ludwig Pummer – Delivering a sealed, enchanted box that contained…confectioneries.

“I…guess it makes sense. I did a delivery for a famous [Baker] and carried the damn box to another city just so someone else could eat it. The box was made so it would preserve the taste and freshness of the food the instant it was done. Gotta say, I was hungry when the client pulled it out. But all that money and time for…muffins?”

Noah GS – A beautiful rainbow in the sky. That’s all you need for a good day.

“Nothing bad happened. Instead: rainbows! Not just one…fifteen! Turns out there was a [Mage] hired by Liscor to make rainbows and other cool stuff! Every Drake and Gnoll came out to watch; Klbkch told me that the city does that to make everyone feel better now and then. And the [Mage] guy told me that he specializes in illusion magics. He’s got such a cool job!”

Bryan Simmons – Mushroom attack! Mushroom-themed dishes are half off!

“A bunch of walking mushrooms attacked my inn today. I mean, they were walking but more like they had these little round things they used to crawl and–it’s sort of gross if you look closely. But they had little mouths and they tried to bite me! I uh, got a frying pan and hit them for a while. I made a big soup and served them to this guy and gave him food poisoning. Oops! But, uh, at least I figured out which ones are poisonous. (It’s the orange ones!)

Mikael Ahl – A spell scroll. Smells of garlic.

“Do Vampires exist? Crap. I’m going to have to worry about more stuff each night, aren’t I? I just delivered a high-level spell scroll to a guy who’s convinced a Vampire is living in his town. It’s made to emit bright light, stink up the place with garlic, and has several locating spells built in. The guy’s armed with a crossbow filled with wood bolts and he’s got a stake. I’m wishing him the best of luck; I got the impression he’s not fighting sparkling Vampires.”

Hans C. – The legend of the [Shield Hero]. Unconfirmed; thousands of years old.

“Honestly, I’m not even sure how old this myth is. And no one can confirm that there even is a [Shield Hero] class. I mean…I’ve never heard of a [Hero] class except in legends. But here’s what I was told: there was once a warrior who had so many skills that he could even block Dragon’s fire and lightning. I’m not even sure how you can block lightning if you’ve got a metal shield. Unless he didn’t have one. Whatever. I’ve written down the story.

Vin Reisling – Acid flies are all over the place! Hide!

“I…saw someone get melted today. He was a powerful mage–I mean, really powerful! He was shooting lightning and everything. He even killed a Rock Crab! But then the acid flies were everywhere. At first he zapped them with a shield of lightining, but then a HUGE one flew down and…melted…him. I’m hiding in my inn until they go away. Poor mage guy!


9 thoughts on “Guestbook

  1. If it’s not too clear, this is a list of people who have donated to me on Patreon! Thanks to everyone listed, and if you want me to change your name or find a description annoying, message me on Patreon and I’ll amend the list. Thanks so much for donating!

    PS: I could do Paypal, but that is a bit more private since that involves actual names and a banking site. Just know that I appreciate you too, but I don’t want to jeopardize anything confidential.

  2. Fun! Like eating a bag of M&M’s (only they’re, you know, stories!).

    A couple typos:

    ‘latter’ –> letter
    ‘butter spell’ –> butter smell

    Glad I have a horse. I wanna get a class that lets it use something like Double Step when I ride. I better get practicing.


  3. Not that I’m complaining per se, but I seem to be on the list twice, once as Tonberry and once as Thomas Dixon (I did change my name on patreon so that’s probably got something to do with it)

  4. I love it, my piece is Ber-tiful. Not sure about being taken down by a single Gobbo, but truth be told, that’s probably the most realistic part of the whole thing.

  5. Typo:
    “One gold coin for swift transport fifteen miles”
    A word seems to be missing between “transport” and “fifteen miles”
    Perhaps “of” (not sure)

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